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Original poster

Eek what do I do

53 replies

Js1983 · 21/12/2014 19:58

I really don't know how to play this but here goes....

Ive always liked this guy in work but never was sure he liked me. Always teased me but I've never done anything.

i was on my Xmas works do and after a couple of hrs way he was with me changed. When he went out for a fag after talking to me he kissed me on the head and put his arm round me.

then spent rest of night kissing and cuddling each other. He said he thought I was really cool and how pretty I was yet day after didn't hear anything from him.

i really like him but I don't want to b disappointed

OP posts:
rookietherednosedreindeer · 21/12/2014 21:16

when was your Christmas do? Was it on Friday - if so then there is still hope.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 21/12/2014 21:16

OP... sometimes teasing is just that, teasing. He quite possibly likes you but doesn't' want to take it further.

I think you know deep down that he doesn't fancy you because you're asking on a chatboard. Only you know exactly what he said to you, the tone in which he said it and how it made you feel. In my experience, if a man fancies you, they really do let you know and you wouldn't need to ask people who were not there.

Sorry... I can see that you really like him but if you're not going to ask him (and I can see why you wouldn't want to) then you're not going to know, are you? Bite the bullet and ask him if you really are unclear as to his feelings. :)

MadeMan · 21/12/2014 21:17

"as thought teasing was a sign of a guy likes u"

I wouldn't take teasing on it's own to mean he definitely fancies you. I used to think teasing was a sure sign, but not anymore.

CheeseBuster · 21/12/2014 21:17

It's only been a day. Does no one remember the 3day rule before calling someone? Some guys still prescribe to it.

Quitelikely · 21/12/2014 21:20

I disagree with others. Of course he likes you he wouldn't have done anything with you otherwise.

Unfortunately I can't tell you much else, you will have to find the courage from somewhere to ask him about it!

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 21/12/2014 21:28

There's a world of difference between 'liking' and 'fancying'... just saying.

Of course he likes the OP but I wouldn't have been surprised to hear that he'd ruffled her hair after kissing her head.

jl1983 · 21/12/2014 21:58

We were cuddled up for hrs before we went home.. We didn't get to the exchange of nos... Thing is I qsk on here because I've been treated so poorly by men that is all

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 21/12/2014 22:02

Well how would we know, OP? All of the information is coming from you. To me it sounds as if he likes you but doesn't fancy you and it's not going anywhere. I think you'll have to ask him.

jl1983 · 21/12/2014 22:08

Why do u think he doesn't fancy me

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 21/12/2014 22:13

OP - every time (in my dim and distant youth) I drunkenly snogged a bloke, it was instantly on. It went somewhere instantly. The few times it didn't were because it was a big mistake and I just wanted to ignore it! I feel terrible but a couple of times I got off with a bloke when drunk, that I didn't mean to. I liked them as friends, but not anything more.

Unless this guy is unbelievably shy and socially awkward, then you snogging him will have been the green light. IME anyway. If he's now ignoring it, then the signs are not good. Sorry.

SelfLoathing · 21/12/2014 22:18

If this was on Friday, it's too early to say.

If you've heard nothing within a week, then it was just the drink and a random party snog.

Don't contact him. Be cool like a cat.

jl1983 · 21/12/2014 22:29

We work side by side so it's slightly awkward. He's also not well at the moment

MadeMan · 21/12/2014 22:31

"He's also not well at the moment"

So you gave him the lurgies as well when you snogged him? Grin

rookietherednosedreindeer · 21/12/2014 22:49

So what's the time frame? If this happened on Friday and he hasn't got your number then he could just be waiting to see how things are at work. Or he could fancy you but want to avoid a workplace romance.

It's impossible to tell really.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 21/12/2014 22:51

OP... are there any more excuses you can think of to make for why this hasn't turned out as you planned? You're coming across as a little bit desperate. We've all been there but, if you're 25+, I'd reign it in a bit if I were you.

Be cool and a bit aloof as if it all doesn't matter at all... even if it does to you. If you work alongside then you'll have to be professional at work and leave the cow-eyes at home.

GoatsDoRoam · 21/12/2014 22:59

You want this to mean something. You fancy him and want a relationship with him, and are desperately trying to use his "teasing" you and last night's snogging as evidence that he wants a relationship with you too.

He doesn't. If he did, you would be in one already. Because he would be making damn sure to get your number, ask you out, and then call you afterwards.

He's just not that into you, OP. I'm sorry. But you're going to have to let go and move on.

jl1983 · 21/12/2014 23:23

I'm not desperate but u can't b 100% either it's just awkward both sides especially since one of the guys has posted a pic of us with our arms round each other commenting on ir

AcrossthePond55 · 22/12/2014 00:02

Well, I think I'd go so far as to say that kissing a coworker on the forehead in front of other coworkers probably isn't what I'd consider 'normal' coworker behaviour. If I'd witnessed it I would have thought 'Hmm, something going on there?'. But (and it's a big BUT) that doesn't necessarily mean that it means anything to him. As others have said, it could be anything from the alcohol to him being secretly madly in love with you.

If you really want to know, ask him to go for a coffee or to have a bite to eat with you after work. See where it goes from there. Just keep the asking light and friendly ("What a day, eh? I'm starved/knackered! Would you like to go for a coffee/bite?") rather than 'will you go out with me'. If he says no, assume the party was a one-off & remain friends. If he says yes, just play it by ear. One on one time away from work will probably tell you whether he's interested or not.

jl1983 · 22/12/2014 04:52

It wasn't even a kiss on forehead it was a kiss on the nk of the head.which tbh I find not normal colleague behaviour!!

MoRaw · 22/12/2014 06:13

Even if he fancies you, it all sounds rather immature. You mentioned that you have been treated poorly by men before. Instinct tells me that a relationship with this guy may not be a whole lot better than the others in the past.

Further, if his behaviour in front of colleagues is anything to go by, I suggest you really think carefully about your criteria for who/what constitutes 'relationship material'.

You do sound a bit desperate either to be with this man or to be in a relationship.

MoRaw · 22/12/2014 06:17

I should have also asked you what lessons you've learnt from your past relationships that you are using here to ensure you don't make the same mistakes again? What questions are you asking yourself to ensure this guy is a break from the past?

jl1983 · 22/12/2014 06:43

Why do I sound des all I want to know is where I stand

MoRaw · 22/12/2014 06:55

You appear to be putting far too much weight on what he thinks or feel to determine where you stand. You have had bad experiences in the past, have you asked yourself a few searching questions before falling headlong for this guy?

If you want to know where you stand, I think there is only one way and that is to ask his directly and as clearly as possible.

You are clearly consumed by this. You may not see yourself as desperate but this interaction has really led to a high state of anxiety, restlessness and desperate hope.

jl1983 · 22/12/2014 07:04

Just I like the guy and don't know if it meant anything... Thing is one of the work colleagues posted a pic with us with our arms round each other and it's slightly embarrassing as they have made remarks

Vivacia · 22/12/2014 07:44

jl how old are you, if you don't mind me asking?

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