Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Very weird penis

63 replies

Nais83 · 20/12/2014 16:47

Ok I don't know who else to ask because quite frankly it's really embarrassing and it's really concerning me and I am worried that I will not be able to get over this... Many of you will laugh which is why I could not tell my friends. My partner and I werr together for six weeks before we had any sexual contact and last week was the first time we had any kind of sexual contact because I am very concerned that a man wants me for me I want to take it slow. I saw his penis for the first time and well it has a smile in it....it literally looks like a face smiling... I really am freaked out by it but more than that I cannot imagine not seeing it when I look at it... It's like I feel I am being watched. It is formed by a combination of creases and two moles. Seriously I really don't see how anybody could look at it and not see what I am seeing. I love him, he is such a lively man and so very kind and I don't want to bring up the subject as it sounds totally bizarre but it's like having a face looking at me. Please give me advice...serious not joking advice

OP posts:
Applecrumbling · 20/12/2014 16:50

The face aside, was the sex good?

IAmAPaleontologist · 20/12/2014 16:50

Oh look. Schools broke up yesterday.

bumpthedoor · 20/12/2014 16:50

A happy willy is a joy forever. Lucky you.

GilbertBlytheWouldGiftIt · 20/12/2014 16:51

Pics or it didn't happen.

PacificDogwood · 20/12/2014 16:51

Did it look like this: Smile

1/10

gamerchick · 20/12/2014 16:51

As long as it's clean and works then just ignore/shut your eyes.

You won't really be seeing much of it yet anyway will you as condoms cover it up.

GooodMythicalMorning · 20/12/2014 16:52

Sounds lovely

Jackie0 · 20/12/2014 16:52

Ffs I hate school hols Hmm

Nais83 · 20/12/2014 16:53

Yes the sex was good. And why do people have to be so judgemental I knew that would happen

OP posts:
12daysofpissedoff · 20/12/2014 16:54

Maybe he was just pleased to see you?

LoisChristmasPuddingLane · 20/12/2014 16:54

Cover it with creosote - you won't need to look at the smiley face then.

GilbertBlytheWouldGiftIt · 20/12/2014 16:55

Just don't stare at it? At least it's a happy face, would be worse if it looked angry!

12daysofpissedoff · 20/12/2014 16:56

I once knew someone whose bellend looked like Darth Vader's helmet. It didnt frighten me off ... Wink

WhyYouGottaBeSoRude · 20/12/2014 16:56

Embrace it. At least it's smiling. It could be Hmm at you Grin

PacificDogwood · 20/12/2014 16:59

We are not judgemental - just taking the piss Grin

I agree, be thankful: it could have been a critical face, like so Hmm

ClashCityRocker · 20/12/2014 17:01

Are penises usually creased?

dirtybadger · 20/12/2014 17:02

Moles or warts?

I think you'll get over it though. Try to just think of it as a quirk.

Applecrumbling · 20/12/2014 17:03

Well if the sex is good and you're attracted I think you'll get used to it

LoisChristmasPuddingLane · 20/12/2014 17:06

What's worse is if your partner has a bent penis and you have a vagina that is also a bit off kilter.

TheSpottedZebra · 20/12/2014 17:06

Nobody knows it, but he's got a secret smile..

PacificDogwood · 20/12/2014 17:08

Grin Zebra

RattieBagTheOldHag · 20/12/2014 17:13

I don't believe you get 'moles' on the end of willies???

Now there's a phrase I didn't think I'd ever need.

niceupthedance · 20/12/2014 17:16

Put a condom on it

GarlicDrankTheChristmasSpirit · 20/12/2014 17:18

Oooh, Lois, you're not wrong there!

A distorted young fellow named Fred
Had a tool with a corkscrew-shaped head.
He found, having hunted,
A girl similarly-cunted,
But - alas! - with a left-handed thread.

Xmas Wink
Cocolepew · 20/12/2014 17:19

Is it a Sad face when soft ?

Swipe left for the next trending thread