Feeling aggrieved

[seasider123]

Hi there
I really need some help to put my life into perspective please.
I lived a reasonably uneventful life until very recently but now it has imploded.
3 months ago, my DP's step father became ill and sadly has very recently died. During his illness, by a cruel twist of fate, my own father was diagnosed with the same condition and it's touch and go if he will make it until Christmas.
So DP's side of the family is bereaved and I am going through hell watching my DF suffering and slowly dying.
DP and I have tried to manage. He would travel up to stay with his DM and I would hold the fort at home and keep my DF going in hospital.
DP has been as supportive all round as he can be.
However...his bereaved and newly widowed DM is obviously lonely and wants to spend time with her son, my DP. Understandable. But after a particularly harrowing hospital visit to my DF, I was completely pissed off that DP had invited her to stay at short notice. I felt I needed some quiet time at home, as it's my coping strategy, not days of MIL and her grief. I wouldn't refuse but just felt immense pressure, panic and annoyance that I wasn't given any option anyway.
So...DP went mad and threw me out. He says I am callous, unsupportive and selfish. 8 days on, I am not allowed back except to pick up my belongings and I am alone with my father's impending death, no home and no relationship.
I struggle to know if I was being unreasonable to DP or if he was to me. Or if we are both guilty. For the record, I did apologise for my outburst and gave no indication to MIL I was upset and struggling when she arrived.
(ex)DP is still furious with me for all this and says I got what I deserved. Did I? I just need some input to help me process what he is saying.
Any help will be greatly appreciated.

just popped on here to see how you are seasider/ and how is your Dad.i hope you are ok.x

Sorry for not responding to everyone sooner, my poor DF had deteriorated and I have been so so busy at the hospital. He died yesterday. It felt like a release and a relief in some ways as his suffering was unbearable towards the end.

I've read everyone's posts very carefully and taking the advice to stay away from (D)P. At least I don't have to endure 5 mates of his staying over at our house as from today while they are gigging around the area in some band. He wasn't prepared to ask them not stay to consider my feelings either!
Hope all you kind people are having a better Christmas than I am.

So sorry to hear that Op.

Look after yourself.

So sorry to hear about your dad OP. I read your thread and had to comment. I hope you don't mind me saying that i think your dp has treated you appallingly.

This year has been tough for me too. My beloved dh died in March and my lovely dm in August so I understand grief and how it messes with your thought processes. But your dps reaction smacks of selfishness and bullying. No matter how sad and grief stricken he was, to throw you out when your own df was so gravely ill is in my mind unforgivable. I hope you find the strength to see this is a measure of the man he is.

Wishing you peace and strength in the difficult days ahead x

I am so sorry for your loss.

Please grieve in a wa that helps you.

Please do not go back to you ex partner whose behaviour is abusive and cruel in the extreme. You needed him and he kicked you out. I am sure most of us(all of us) would agree we would not do that to a pet let alone a human being.

You deserve to be happy. Start your life afresh and do not look back. Your ex does not deserve you. He really does not.

There is an organisation for bereavement www.cruse.org.uk/ do seek help if you need it. Look after you, you are SO VERY important in all this, and your dear father would think so too.

And keep posting, if it helps you. We are here.