Ignore nasty letter from abusive family or defend myself?

[animalsunited]

To cut a long story short, I've not had contact with most of my family for a couple of years. They have been abusive throughout my childhood and beyond. I have three lovely children, a happy marriage and good ILs so for the sake of my mental well being and my children I walked away.

Every so often they try to attempt contact but yesterday I received a pretty nasty letter from one of them. Full of blame etc

I'm so tempted to reply, even just to say don't contact me anymore! It really tries to insinuate I'm the problem and my poor dh and his family reluctantly put up with and support me (that particularly riles me).

Thanks everyone for your measured advice

Hi Animals. Well I meant a handwritten note so there could be no doubt. But if you have tried that tack before I guess there is nothing to be gained. I kinda meant that them knowing you had not even been sullied by their poison might help. But it seems best to not respond and return any other mail, unopened. Good luck. So sorry you are having to even give them headspace.

No mail should be returned to them; if you do that they know that you received it. A reaction from you is what these people want, they want to draw you back into their dysfunctional world. They will continue to bother you if you at all engage with their game playing.

You are right. The biggest incentive to ignore is that they don't even know if I received it or have even read the Danny thing.

That will rile them more than anything.

I think you are making the right decision OP. Just ignore. Ignore. Ignore. And please remember it was sent at this time of year to be spiteful, to overshadow Xmas. Don't let it.

In future, if you can please put the letter straight in the bin. Absolutely no point in reading anything from these people.