DP being really off with me, cold and impossible to talk to. Am I just being needy?

[SleepDeprivedAnnie]

Past few days he's been rather volatile, blowing up at me over the slightest thing. A couple of nights ago he was awful, really argumentative, saying he couldn't be arsed to talk to me when I tried to make up with him (even though it really want my fault we were arguining, he'd just blown up over something trivial) and basically just acting like he hated me, like I was a mate he'd fallen out with.

Last night I felt really ill, I told him I felt a bit shit and he completely blanked me. I tried making conversation with him and he answered me but acted like he really couldn't be arsed and his tone was quite off. My headache began turning into a migraine, I took some tablets and said to him "wow my head feels like it's going to explode". Absolutely no reply.

Fast forward half an hour and it got that bad I felt quite tearful. I was also becoming quite upset at his lack of concern. I said "you know, I'm feeling really shit here, could do with a hug". He replied "you didn't want to know me earlier so bollocks to you". He was referring the point where he came in from work and I hugged and kissed him whilst serving up his dinner. He decided I hadn't bothered with him at that point which was untrue. I said "I was serving up your dinner!" And he replied "so? I'm not going to kiss your arse for it" .

Much of the same all night. Eventually I said "I'm going to bed, you're being off with me again and I don't know why and on top of that I feel really ill". He kicked off saying I was trying to start an argument and he couldn't be arsed with me. I said "all I wanted was a hug". He reluctantly shoved the tv remote out of the way and snapped "come here then!". I felt more awful at that point, forcing my partner to show a bit of affection? He then said "well I'm not going to come pandering to you".

Later in the night I told him his behaviour was making me feel insecure and I could do with a bit of reassurance. His reply was "yes master! Immediately master!" .

I was crying and it didn't bother him in the slightest.

Wtf is going on? Am I needy?

Ok. He's a monumental idiot. But you know that don't you? he made you feel bad on purpose. Taking a bad day out on you, whatever, he will always have a problem and if that is not you it will be something else.

That said, your post did irrationally make me annoyed too. So, perhaps you are personalities that just don't go together. I think my annoyance stemmed from you painting yourself as a victim. "Am I needy?" You wrote the op and want us to fix him, or suggest ways you can fix him. You cannot do that. It will not work. You could work on your self confidence so you no longer require his approval. That would likely benefit you more long term.

I suggest reading the relationships board. In conjunction with actually posting. I think you would get a lot out of that board reading others questions and answers received. You seem to write as if you deserve him. You really don't. You deserve better.

OP, my dad used to treat my mum like this, and eventually us kids too. It got to the point we were all on eggshell around him all the time and apologising for things we hadn't done just to keep the peace. It's a really cruel way to treat someone and did increase as the years went on. Until he did finally meet and left for OW and we all thanked our lucky stars someone else was taking his crap instead of us! (Though he ended up doing the same to her and she got a lot of empathy from us at the time)

Please be aware that this can slide into much more cruel treatment