My mother is a drama llama and has to take the centre stage whenever happiness came my way

[Mrsgrumble]

I don't know why I'm posting but this riled me.

My mother spoils a lot for me. I have got over it. Sick for my hen, graduation... I could go on and on. She has dperession so allowances and made for her all the time.

Whenever there is bad news she gets all hyped up and she can be 'sick' at e drop of a hat, then the next day book herself and her friend into a hotel and sickness disappears. I can't explain it. Noone except dh understand, he was is shock when he saw her behaviours for himself.

She loves to make me anxious and will go on about suspected illnesses in othercor herself. Well I am 39 weeks pregnant- due baby just about now and she has made a big drama over a test my dad had done, trying to worry me. So kept myself busy during my visit and didn't engage. (I cannot believe it- dad never mentioned it)

She came to knock on the toilet door to see was I crying about dads news (I wasn't - I have learned to distance myself and I don't engage) she would love if I was crying and upset.

Sorry for rambling on. I can't deal with her anymore. If I go on holiday she has these falls that no one witnesses. .its like anything for attention.

I have observed this behaviour as an outsider, and it is scary. I have always helped out elderly neighbours and over the years have really enjoyed the company of several of them.I got particularly close to one lady and she was great company, lively and entertaining to visit.

One day we were laughing about something, when her son arrived unexpectedly. In front of my eyes she morphed into a different person, whiney, clingy, ill, the poor man didn't stand a chance. My mouth was literally hanging open.

Unfortunately she turned this behaviour towards me, and it became a dreadful time as I tried to escape her clutches. She was terrifying.

I think that she had been very beautiful when young and she simply could not bear not being the centre of attention, even in her eighties she still flirted with every man she met. When I read the link to Histrionic PD, there she was.

I feel so much for anyone on the receiving end of this behaviour, sadly after many years of caring for neighbours, I have taken a step back as I never want to be in that position again.

Stars much of your post resonates hugely with me and my DM relationship.

'If I did spend NYE with her, she would drink too much, slag off my dad, and then be nasty to me. It's a well worn path. I used to hope she would change, but no.'

We never serve wine with family meals or at Xmas when she's round because this is exactly what happens. Her 'normal' negative behavior turns in to full scale character assassinations of anyone we know!

She's also seems jealous of my relationship with DF - we have the same silly sense of humour. She's often 'cats bum face' when we're having a laugh. DF never stays long at ours when he's alone I'm thinking now prob because DM doesn't like it. Like you say, she doesn't realise that I'd love to have that relationship with her but she makes it impossible.

It's only in the last 5 years or so that I've realised that it's not me that's the problem, and I'm in my 40s. I look around at my lovely family and friends who, still to my amazement, seem to really like me and we share such joy.

And I look at my DM who has no friends (they've all betrayed her, according to her), no family (she's cut them all off, barely speaks to DF family and has health issues whenever there's a DF family occasion so can't go).

And she thinks that I'm the difficult one!

Anyway stars and all other posters - vent away on here or Stately Homes thread. It really is the best therapy!

'Cat's bum face' - haven't heard that one in a while! It's a good description

Completely agree that venting and hearing other people's stories is very comforting. So many people just don't get it and it can feel so lonely and isolating, especially at this time of year when the 'happy families' image is in your face everywhere. for everyone on this thread.

The more I read, the more I feel a mixture of pity and horror for mothers like ours. They are so weak and so easily threatened by the idea that they are not the centre of everybody's world. Being threatened by your daughter's close relationship with her father - that's quite pathetic when you think of it. Not saying that we should make allowances or that we don't have a right to feel incredibly angry about their behaviour, but its very sad at the same time.

I know Lotta - cats bum face - speaks volumes!
You're right it is so sad that DMs feel so threatened by our DF relationships. I love it when I see DH having fun with our DDs - it makes my heart sing.