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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I've been dumped and I can't stop crying.

33 replies

MacabreMe23 · 07/10/2006 19:12

I know it's pathetic and I should look to future blahbalh. The fact is I'm devastated. it happened on friday, we have only been together two months but I have fallen in love with him. He said he felt the same but he has decided he sint ready for a relationship right now.

he is 19 I'm 24 and I was concerned about how he would cope in an adult relationship, with me having dd (16months) and not having any suport network so no babYsitter etc..

but I thought we would make it

OP posts:
Blandmum · 07/10/2006 19:16

sorry that you are sad

have a hug

frenchconnection · 07/10/2006 19:17

oh how horrible for you.. i know 2 months is not a long time but i can remember it still hurts like hell, especially as you may've had your futures planned out in your head and fallen in love with him..

maybe it wasnt meant to be and someone better is waiting just around the corner for you...

suejoneziscalmernow · 07/10/2006 19:18

"I know it's pathetic and I should look to future blahbalh" - tis FAR too early to look to the future and be sensible. This is the time to wail and be miserable, time later to be sensible. Have a good cry and you'll feel (a bit) better in the morning. Don't realy do hugs but I could pat you on the back sympathetically if it would help?

nellie245 · 07/10/2006 19:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nellie245 · 07/10/2006 19:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Judy1234 · 07/10/2006 19:29

That is quite a big age gap at that age particularly with a boy. Poor you. It's better now than when you've been together longer however. Presumably he's not your daughter's father.

Original poster
MacabreMe23 · 07/10/2006 19:37

thank you for the responses. I did the wine last night (slighty over did it) tonite I'm doing the pizza takeaway!

I am seeing a friend tomorrow, but tbh since having dd I don't have many friends

I'd rather I'd never met him then to have only been with him for such a short time.

xenia he isnt dds dad.

obviously he was too young to deal with me and my life!
I don't blame him tbh I never get to go out and have fun.

OP posts:
Blandmum · 07/10/2006 19:39

when dumped concentrate on the bad points they have. At 19 I bet he still had a pimply back

He probably thought that shaving was a big deal

nellie245 · 07/10/2006 19:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

divastrop · 07/10/2006 20:15

it wasnt a waste of time-u had 2 months of fun,presumably?
i know its difficult to get out when ur a single mum but i used to enjoy drinking wine and chatting to mates on msn(rl and online ones) and putting the world to rights.
you've got to kiss alot of frogs before you meet the handsome prince

Original poster
MacabreMe23 · 07/10/2006 20:30

but why do the frogs masquerade so well as princes!

I think it hurts even more because I thought we were doing so well. So I feel incredibly naive, I've had such bad luck recently.
I really don't think I deserve it.
I chat a lot on msn (would chat to him a lot there ) need to build up a social network.
I work part time but the people I work with are much older than me and although we get on we're not goin to be great friends iyswim.

OP posts:
KoshkaTheFriendlyGhost · 07/10/2006 20:34

if you need to chat to someone you can with me, im on msn most of the time. i know what its like being newly dumped!

and i bet everyone on here has been dumped at one time or another and theres always someone to talk to.

what area of the country do you live in?

oh and a masssive hug from me x

divastrop · 07/10/2006 21:11

i was dumped after 2 months also when i was a single mum of 3 and it broke my heart at the time but now i can look back and see he wasnt right for me atall.but i know that doesnt help at the mo.what difference does age make when it comes to friendship?i used to chat to this woman on msn who was 15 yrs older than me and she was a good laugh and used to send me links to the dogey websites she used to find in her 16 yr old daughters favourites list

Original poster
MacabreMe23 · 07/10/2006 21:20

thank you so much, I'm glad I can talk to someone about it. my email address is [email protected] I'm on msn lots! so feel free to add me.

I'm pathetic I can't stop texting him. I just feel lost.

OP posts:
Original poster
MacabreMe23 · 07/10/2006 21:22

forgot to add koshka I'm in London, but I stil find myself isolated somehow lol.

OP posts:
divastrop · 07/10/2006 21:22

oooh my best friend confiscated my mobile when i kept doing that...my trick was to text sum1 else instead.

Original poster
MacabreMe23 · 07/10/2006 21:30

I have to stop txting I sound like a lunatic!
divastrop have you met your prince yet?
if so how and where lol.
thispoint in time I can't even imagine being with anyone else.

OP posts:
Original poster
MacabreMe23 · 07/10/2006 21:50

I'm going to go to bed, my head hurts and Ifeel really drained.
Thankyou everyone for responding to me. I'll check in tomorrow x

OP posts:
divastrop · 07/10/2006 22:07

yes i have...on a wap chat site called prodigits lol.he was from the aame town as me though.
we have dd2 who is 10 months and db due in march.
i met him when id stopped looking cos i never wanted to go near another man as long as i lived

Tinkerbel5 · 08/10/2006 09:37

Macabre I hope you are bearing up this morning.

I know it hurts now, but give it a couple of weeks and you probably wont even remember his phone number.

Try not to text him anymore, turn it around and dont tex or ring him, then it will get him thinking, and it will probably play on his mind that you arent bothering with him.

As someone else has said you will kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince charming, unfortunately you have to wade through the losers before you find the decent one.

So chin you hun, you have a loving child that gives you love unconditionally no matter what, and if a man (ok boy) cant accept responsibilities that come with a child then he isnt worth jack shit, and at least you have found out what he is like now, than in 2 years time when a more emotional attachment has been formed.

xxxx

Tinkerbel5 · 08/10/2006 09:39

sorry I meant chin up, not chin you

alismummy · 08/10/2006 12:29

Macabreme23 everything is going to be ok. It really is. You are an intelligent, switched on person who has had the presence of mind to come on mumsnet and get some support. Maybe this relationship didnt work out because there is something you need to do for yourself before you meet mr right? What are your interests? Is there a book you could read? Do you like painting or going for walks. Could you look at this split as an opportunity to work on yourself? Do the little (or big!) things that make you happy.

Everything happens for a reason. No need to dislike your ex. (Not that you said you did, but some people think hating/blaming will free them. IMHO it does the opposite) He perhaps had some growing up to do. Maybe he needs to see other people to realise that you are the one? If you really love him, keep the faith, he may come back when he has done the things he needs to do.

Everything happens for a reason. x

Original poster
MacabreMe23 · 09/10/2006 17:58

Thanks everyone for checking to see how I am. He came over on saturday night to collet his things, he decided he didnt't want to leave me he loves me and he wants to work!
I honestly didn't expect that!
I'm very happy and I hope we can move forward and our relationship can grow.
x

OP posts:
frenchconnection · 10/10/2006 14:31

wow - i bet you are happy now! good luck!!

divastrop · 10/10/2006 17:44

maybe he is ur prince after all....

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