So lonely, issues at work , hardly any family/friends...

[movingonishard]

Thats just it really - this appaling lonliness that is almost consuming me. Other than my son, my "company" is often facebook and dating sites.
I've started a new job and most days am sitting alone in my office, someone else shares the office some days and we get on well - but i've been warned we've been chatting too much, despite a few weeks ago being told we should develop a friendship and we were both hired as they thought we'd get on well. I looked forward to th days that lady was in as we could chat a bit - and worked hard too.
However the job is causing me other issues too as i've so little confidence and feel my brain is scramble with all the new info and am findsing it hard to follow instructions, remember things.
In the past 2 years, i've got divorced, moved home, my mum passed away and my few close friends have moved miles away. I honestly feel right on the edge and whilst i need a job to earn some money and get out of the house, I'm feeling that doing a fairly "brain taxing" job is really not for me atm. I'm thinking of leaving doing something easier eg cleaning, shop work or something while i get myself together but also don;t wan tot regret giving up this job.
I've also tried joing social groups but so difficult as my ds is with me so much and have no one to babysit. All the school mums are in cliques and there is noone close by i can reply on in a crisis.
I really just needed to get this down and hope for some friendly replies :)

[mariposaazul]

I went through some of this when my son was young....hang in there :)

It takes time to make new friends - maybe suggest meeting yr nice colleague outside the office if possible. Look for things happening at weekends in local listings - e.g. look on Facebook for things with the name of yr town in it. I found it easier going to stuff with DS than on my own!

Re job - try very hard not to leave, it will get easier & the other jobs you mention pay less & often involve unsocial hours which would be difficult with DS. Also you'd likely get bored!

[Ebayaholic]

Have you considered a weekend bar job? Plenty of adult company and opportunity for chat.

[movingonishard]

Not a bad idea ebay - but half of weekends ds is with me!

[Donteatthekidssweets]

That's a shame sounds like you've been unlucky with your work place, I'vemade some of my best friends at work over the years. However I think cleaning / shop work means you'll be bored and poorer too. How about the WI, not at all stuffy and mine has a book club? Running club?

[Saywhaaaa]

Hey Moving I just wanted to say I think many people feel like you do these days. I know I have felt crushing loneliness in my life, so I wanted to reach out to you and tell you that it can change. I moved to a new area, grew apart from my friends and kind of had to start again.

The issues youre having at work is to be expected. It's normal to feel overwhelmed at first. Could you work in a nice country pub if you don't want anything too challenging. It could improve your social life too.

I know what you mean about mums cliques at the schools. But a lot of the time you may find you become friends with the odd one naturally in time through your son's friends mums and his activities. A lot of Mums steer clear of the cliques. I know I do!
I have made a good friend after a chance meeting with a mum at the school and we just clicked. I still feel lonely a lot because you're right everyone is so busy with their own lives and families.

By the way I'm in Surrey and my son is 8. PM me anytime you like.

[NorwegianBirdhouse]

Hi OP. You are very lonely and I am so sorry to hear that. It is one of the worst things that can happen to a person and you feel you have very little control over it. I recognise some of what you and kelell17 are saying about how important a small piece of contact from a friend becomes to you, yet it’s very casual to them. If you can live on the pay from shop work (I mean if you are not taking a huge drop), then you really could consider moving to that or some other more social type of work. I work in a shop and love the customer interaction. Generally people are grateful for help and chatty and cheery. The staff is friendly too.

Your job may be considered a good job but if you are spending so much time alone when desperate for company, then at this time, it may not be for you. As your job is hitting your confidence and you are isolated a lot in it, I think you should change it because that is one area you can change. It is better to have less money and be happier. Best wishes for you OP.

[Pearl372]

Look on the" Meetup" website for groups in your area.