What do you think about this text?

[notespeller]

I sent a message to someone I've been seeing after he was being a bit reticent to say - well maybe we should stop seeing each other. I hoped he would be all like "no way" etc etc

He actually wrote:- I think you are amazing in every way and I am seriously and honestly telling you we have a lot of love in our relationship. I only want you to be happy and successful and I really am your biggest supporter and think you are amazing and I know that will NEVER change xx

This means fuck off doesn't it?

Would it actually have been difficult for him to stay in touch, ie issues with using a mobile phone abroad, that kind of thing? I mean, was this guy telling the truth about that, rather than he couldn't be fucked?

TBH I think I want a lot more attention from him than he can really give me and that makes me really frustrated.

I do know he loves me and likes me but he is hardly ever here and even when he is there is a lot of pressure on his time so he doesn't really give me what I want.

I know it's out of his control to a large degree but at the same time if he wanted to I feel he could make more effort which he doesn't so there is my answer really.

I want what I can't really have with him and I have got frustrated because of my bad mood and the situation and not got the answer I wanted.

I am really quite devastated I do love him but I know i'll always come second to work and I suppose if he really loved and wanted me he would try to address those issues but he never does and I just put up with it because I don't want to lose him by rocking the boat.

But now I have rocked the boat and he has just backed away even more.

I feel really sad - I want to know if he does too but I think he just thinks of work.

I know i just have to get over it but how will I?

How long have you been together?

If you feel the need to play these games with him and feel so insecure that you can't just talk about how things are going between you then it doesn't sound like things are going to work out either way.

It sounds like he's just not that into you. And if you can't have a real honest conversation at this stage, it's doesn't sound like it was meant to be.

Is he married? Or heavily involved with someone else? Because no one works 24/7 for days or whatever work zone is- and can't manage a text occasionally. And most people are glued to their phones etc as it is- and do business like this.

But if you feel it won't change and it doesn't suit you at this stage in the relationship it's time to stop it. It clearly bothers you a lot, enough to talk and worry to your friends to validate the relationship, and he was quick to say " ok" - though a bit more long winded than that.

thanks everyone - yes you are right he was very quick to basically just say ok, have a nice life. I hardly slept and actually feel really pissed off with him and feel like sending his a text saying 'well actually I don't wish you a nice life I wish you a miserable one you unemotional wanker' how can he be so reasonable!!!

But I won't send it so posted it on here instead and i'll just keep a dignified silence too :0(

We have known each other for years and always had big crushes on each other but we have been together for 2 years but as I say he is always away so not like a full time living together thing. We both have children and so we are both very busy with them and that is another strain on both of us as well. I don't want to live together not because I don't love him but he has double the amount of children I do and i don't want to deal with all the drama of that scenario. Neither does he though. Another reason we don't spend much time together because when he is here he wants to see them which i totally understand and also I am really busy too.

His ex totally calls the shots as well so I don't know if he still loves her or just trying to keep her happy for the children's sake.

It s actually 3 days now (of torture) so i guess I would have heard form him by now even though he is still away should I block his numbers and all that now because i feel like he might call me at some point but surely if he did love me he would have called by now - he will know I am upset i am sure.

And now he is coming back tomorrow but I am going away for a week for business and need to concentrate and focus on that. God knows how.

I had a boyfriend who was a bit reluctant to throw himself into the relationship, didn't put up a fight if we talked about ending it and was always away with work in other countries etc. I ended it after four years. Turns out he had another woman for two of them and the distant relationship we had suited him. He always told me how much he loved me, how much he wanted to spend his life with me etc but he never actually followed this with actions. I suggest you're well rid.

That's what you get when you resort to texting instead of actually talking.

Many breakups and weak relationships are caused it not help by poor communication for whatever reason.

These days of Facebook, text and email often mean that couples don't have the face to face conversations they need to.

Two years and you sent him a text like that? Would have thought you were both in a more solid place by now. If you didn't mean what you said then just apologise for the text and for being " petulant" as you put it. Don't say anything more, just that you apologise and you were in a dark place. See what he says.

Sometimes relationships, in the early days especially, involves an emotional 'dance' - each of you is trying to show you like each other with some 'testing of the water' going on now and then, to see if the other person's motives are still true.

It is probably best if we don't have anymore contact and then you won't have to worry about it this sounds like you are enticing him to contradict and say "no, no - that isn't what I meant!" ... it can also give the person their open invitation to say, "OK fine, see you around"

Texting this stuff, no matter how busy you both are, is never a good idea. It's in writing, it has so many pitfalls (interpretation, reading between the lines, mindgames etc).

Even if this relationship is 'curtains', maybe the lesson isn't lost?

But its not really early days daisy. Its been two years I think.

I wouldn't say anyone is right or wrong here!

I think some people like to have a relationship where the other is more chatty and forthright and leading, and some like to be the more chatty, forthright, and leading themselves.

Eg I know some who LOVE everything being planned for them (me included - I have a fairly big work life and personally like to just be told "turn up at x o'clock" and know what shoes to wear - also I can't really be bothered with any of the "where are we going" stuff myself as I'm a hippy at heart)

but there are others who want to really plan, manage, their date or time with their boyfriend. And be the one who leads in terms of "relationship milestones" etc.

No right or wrong, just a personality difference.

I know some men who want to just go "we're a couple, woman take charge!" and are fairly quiet/inert in the dynamics of building a relationship.

You sound like you don't want to do the emotional/social leading all or most of the time, so go forth and look for someone who complements this tendency in yourself!

Have you met his children?
Is he married?
Is he still in a relationship with his wife?

Also speaking as a man I haven't a clue what's going on here. The texts mean nothing to me, apart from, did you just dump him by text?