A virtually unconscious woman and a man feeding her alcohol

[FreudianGymSlip]

I told the bar staff that I was very worried about the welfare of a woman in the bar who was drunk and who then became virtually unconscious but who I could clearly see was being woken up and fed more alcohol by her 'partner.' He was also partially undressing and fondling her in the full view of the other people.

I told the bar staff again about my concern. They said this is a couple who come in often and it isn't nice. I asked them if this woman has children and they didn't know. I came home and rang 101 to report my worry and they might get a patrol car out but they're busy.

I can't remember when I've felt so nauseous without there being an organic reason. This man is known locally as a trader, I didn't recognise either of them. I've done all I can, yes?
I got the feeling from the bar staff that they've seen it before with these two people but take it as 'this is what they do' and from the 101 that it didn't look like a date-rape thing and they would prioritise it in terms of what else they had coming in.

I am very upset and worried about this woman. I'm not going to know what happened am I? I can't tell you how much I wanted to get up and punch his fucking lights out from the moment I clapped eyes on his behaviour (and I know I wasn't alone).

I have no idea why you have decided to wade into a debate that was winding down...

I know why. People who don't have the courage and strength of their convictions come into a thread either when its dying, or when the vast majority of MN posters are asleep at night, stealing in like a thief in the night to leave their post. Don't you think that is a cowardly way to post twindad??? Why don't you have the strength and courage to back up your misogyny??? Aren't you ashamed to have such a hatred of women??? Wouldn't you like to be a better person than that??

"Why is the woman not responsible?"

1. She is practically unconscious.
2. she is with someone who is apparently her boyfriend/ partner if the bar staff are to be believed. He should therefore be looking after/ taking her home to look after her - not abusing her in public.
3. Unless you are the investigating officer with insight everyone else on this thread has not got - the only thing that is certain from the witness is that a woman was being fed alcohol and publicly fondled - which is a dangerous and horrible act quite aside from any other concerns...
4. Even assuming the woman got herself deliberately drunk in the first instance she is damaging her own liver and not harming anyone else - the same cannot be said for the actions of the boyfriend.

What else do you need to know!?!

What an absolute cunt.

Do you have any idea what consent means? How lack of consent is rape or abuse.

Do you have any comprehension if what's it's like to have to protect yourself, either by being numb or trying to avoid feeling or attention? Have you not read on here how women are trapped in abusive relationships and how hard it is to leave? According to you they deserve all they get for doing so

Clearly you're a regular otherwise you'd not have picked up on a previous comment I made about my self defence mechanism to try to keep me safe.

Clearly you're a cunt otherwise you'd not have tried to use my comment to put me down, my comment was in context about not drawing attention to myself because of my past.

You're a sick example of a man and I hope karma exists you bastard.

Chipping How is it deeply personal to use something someone posted on an internet forum yesterday "truly unforgivable" ? I have in the space of an hour been called a misogynist, and had it said that my mother disliked me as a child.

He's trolling. Don't feed him.

The women in this thread is made out to sound like a christmas turkey, being fattened up by the farmer. She is the hapless victim being "fed" with drink, "plied". This of course "renders" her drunk.

Oh, so your actual issue is that you don't believe another woman's testimony, that women 'can't be trusted to tell the truth', that only men are honest and reliable. That a women's opinion is worth nothing especially in regards to the man.

Again, "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt". However we are all here replacing the word 'fool' with the word 'misogynist'. Aren't you ashamed to be thought of as a misogynist by the thousands of women who post and read MN?

The more he trolls, the more likely he will be banned.

Hi everyone,

Thanks for all your reports. Rest assured we've taken care of the situation now - sorry for the disruption.

twindad76 Tue 18-Nov-14 10:24:02
Chipping How is it deeply personal to use something someone posted on an internet forum yesterday "truly unforgivable" ? I have in the space of an hour been called a misogynist, and had it said that my mother disliked me as a child.

If you had posted about erectile dysfunction on another thread, would it be fine to tell you that your opinion on this thread holds no weight because you can't get it up?

So, argue the points if you don't like being called a misogynist, don't drag irrelevant posts from other threads into it, that just makes you look like cruel, vindictive bastard who can't debate a point.

The women in this thread is made out to sound like a christmas turkey...

No, that is your perception of her. Why do you have a perception of a woman as a 'thing' and not a real living human being in her own right? Do you have trouble distinguishing between an inanimate object like a chair, and a real live person, with feelings, thoughts and actions? Or would you just treat a person just like you would treat a chair? People who do this (and yes these people do exist) generally have some sort of personality disorder, like narcissism or psychopathy. Do you have a personality disorder?

I didn't rant. I stated calmly.

Consent was never an issue in my relationship. I had no mind, no will, no rights so consent was deemed unnecessary.

As for being desperate to read abuse into a situation? Oh no. Far from it. I'm desperate to NOT read abuse into ANY situation EVER again.

wow twindad76 you are a truly spiteful human.

Well done OP, I would have done the same.

joysmum xx

Interesting that you phone the police to report a sexual assault in progress and they decide it is not a priority issue. This attitude towards sex crimes committed by people known to the victim explains why there are so few successful prosecutions for date rape/assault. I would follow up with the police and ask what action they took. If they did nothing, ask them or the police complaints authority why not.

had it said that my mother disliked me as a child

Actually, that's not what I said, and I quote - "Do you feel your mother didn't love you enough?" You need to go back and redo your high school English if you cannot understand the difference between these two sentences. How do you get on in the world if your comprehension of English is so poor?

Hello people! He was trolling - MN has confirmed it. Can we just move on please?

Freudian - do please keep us in the loop. Well done for reporting.

And joysmum x

The fact is, as has been pointed out, that the situation would have been equally worrying if the sexes were reversed or indeed it was two men or two women. For whatever reason the couple were regularly in this scenario it is not acceptable for the less inebriated one to abuse the drunker one. It is horrendous.

Sorry - that was a bit head girl but I just hate giving wankers oxygen.

Agree that it doesn't matter whose giving booze to whom. It's horribly abusive.

Sorry - that was a bit head girl...

No worries OddFodd. The beauty of the interwebz is that this will exist 'forever', so twindad will be able to see his misogyny and arsieness in existence for a loonnggg time. I hope he lives long enough to regret what he has written.

who's

Thanks Zazzles and let's hope so!

I agree, giving trolls airspace is just feeding them.

Sometimes I wonder if they are human. I wonder if they know how it feels to do the mental gymnastics required in an abusive relationship to reconcile the man who says he loves you and is the father of your children with the man who abuses you and rapes you? I wonder if they know how it feels to swear to never tell any of your other dcs that you were raped in case they too ask like dc1 'was I the product of that?' I wonder if they know how it feels to be forced to have sex knowing that you're not on effective birth control? I wonder if they know how it feels to question everything about yourself because all your natural instincts are so battered and buried that you can't trust yourself over whether you want tea or coffee let alone anything stronger.

I think I will always struggle with leaving trolls be as each and every one of them has the face of STBXH and I still want to make him know how much he hurt me. But then I guess, just like him, they don't care. Which makes them inhumane, even if they are human.

Wow, a lot has happened since I updated.

Just as a point of fact for anyone still reading -

The woman had passed out AND HE WAS PROPPING HER UP AND HOLDING HER CHIN LIKE YOU DO AN INFANT SO HE COULD POUR MORE WINE DOWN HER THROAT. LITERALLY. She was unable to give consent. She was incapable of agency at that point. She was at risk and he took full advantage of that when he was taking her bra strap down so that her breasts were partially exposed to the public.

And I'm afraid that his obvious pleasure in the discomfort of those who could see what he was doing told me all I needed to know about him.

So the likes of twin dad can go fuck themselves. I'd do the same again no matter who it was.

And Joysmum I am really sorry if this thread has upset you and I wish you all the best

This is poisoning in my books and I'm so glad you reported this to all the appropriate authorities, it is dreadful that neither the barstaff nor the police wanted to do anything about this.