Help me please, am I being a twonk?

[ToTheWinchester]

Okay, here's the delio...
I'm quite concerned about my hubbys addiction to his computer! Sounds odd right?! Well he's on it at every waking moment and I feel he is missing out on so much. Especially with the kids (he's so far missed our sons first steps and any involvement in choosing and viewing our oldest sons school choices). I put a ban on the PC for a fortnight but he lasted less than 4 hours. He has previously told me he just goes on it to relax after work but I'm not totally convinced
I'm starting to feel like a single parent, I'm doing all housework, grocery shopping, childcare, mums taxi service and general daily events planner! He wakes, heads off to work, comes home and sits on the PC only coming off to use the loo and bedtime. He even eats his tea there!
It wouldn't bother me so much if he could just meet me half way but he's a bit stubborn! Any advice would be great. Cheers en.

he just has this oddity!

Not an oddity when it takes over your life and affects those you love.. it's an obsession.

You showed him the thread and he didn't go ape? good start!! hope he bucks his ideas up xxxx

Wow -- nice work showing him the thread. That took guts. Hope it leads to a mental shift that lasts longer than a week! In an ideal situation, he'll re-engage with his family and you guys will get to benefit from all his various positive qualities and he'll get to benefit from yours.

Thank you, I hope so too.

He didn't go ape, just think it made him realise how it's affecting everyone. He was sad and didn't go back on the PC. We'll see how long it lasts.

There was a lot of fear behind those guts!

Someone once said 'fear is a mile high, a mile wide, and paper thin' -- often the things that look scary, you just have to step through them and they turn out to be easy.

what sort of message does it send the kids?
It sends them the message that if you just laze around all the time and don't spend any time with your kids and wife, then that's just normal.
It sends the message that they will have everything done for them and they can just play on the computer all day.
It sends the message that dad loves his PC and friends more than he loves his wife and kids.
It sends the message that men don't have to do any input into the running of the household they can just laze around and have the dutiful woman pick up after them.

Is that what want your kids to grow up thinking and mimicking?

There is something wrong when he'd rather look at the computer than witness his kid's first steps.

"I wish I'd spent more time on the computer instead of playing with the kids." Said no one, ever.

I don't think giving up on him and our marriage is a great idea, what sort of message does it send the kids? But he's already checked out. All you are is a housekeeper/nanny.

My DH is a gamer, but he is still involved with family life. He goes on the computer when I'm doing my embroidery.

If it was me I would stop doing things for him. Don't do his washing, cook dinner for him, put all his rubbish a black sack.

Hit him over the head with it.

That should do it.

Hey OP, just wondering how last night went -- if there were any differences in his behaviour, or any further discussion of the issue?

Hey, yeah we chatted about it a little more and agreed on a set amount of time and certain times of day etc.
He apologised this morning for being a plonker and has agreed to get some counselling if he reverts.
The futures orange
Thanks xx

Yeah progress!
I really hope he continues with it this time.
Fingers crossed for you.
Well done tackling it again.