Ways to stop being bloody silly about someone

[LoisPuddingLane]

Some of you may remember that I was on about a bloke a while back whom I've known for a while. Despite his seeming to really like me at first, it's never got beyond friendship. I've now moved but we are still in regular contact, usually instigated by him. (I have this mantra in my head DON'T CHASE DON'T CHASE DON'T CHASE.) He contacts me a lot and we talk about him coming to see me. And then nothing happens. I am aware that this probably means he's not that interested. The question is how do I stop my feelings? I know I tend to go for men who are or who make themselves unavailable, and it's really unhealthy.

I want to not think about him. I want to stop crushing on him. I fantasise about him sexually to a really stupid degree. Any tips for getting him out of my head (and other parts)?

Sure, if cats are what is meaningful to you.

And if not, what is?

I'm getting a cat in the new year. I hope she likes cuddles .

Sorry for resurrecting an almost dead thread!

I now have my cat. This makes me very happy.

I'm trying to be a bit more detached about the bloke. Still have some feelings there, but am standing outside of myself saying "how low must your self-esteem be that you are pining after a man who in two years has made no move towards you, has a single bed (yes, I've now been in his bedroom, but not on any sort of erotic adventure), and no job?"

Why do we do these things to ourselves? Is this really all I think I am worth? Clearly it is, and I need to give myself a sound kicking.

I'm not sure if anyone's reading this any more but...I just want to finish things off, so to speak. Something happened at the weekend that totally put the nail in the coffin for me and I don't really even want to be his friend now, let alone anything else. (Not before time, I hear, with raised eyebrows).

I went to the city where he lives because there was this festival. It only happens about every three years and I really wanted to see it as I wasn't here last time it was on. We arranged to meet up - just mates, I wasn't after anything. Had something to eat. Then we went off to look at the various things. He'd been round the night before and was guiding me. Now, he knew I had a specific train to get. I'd made that very, very clear. And it meant getting back into the city centre to get a tram to the station. As we walked towards a slightly far-flung bit of the festival, in a part of the city I didn't know, I started to worry, and asked how long it would take to get back to the tram. He was unconcerned, but I pressed it. As we started walking back (at my request) he mentioned that the trams might be full up and not stopping. Which, indeed, they were. The time of my train came and went, as did the non stopping trams. I was getting beside myself. Our cities are 30 miles apart.

I finally got down to the station and the only train left was the quarter to midnight one, the last one of the night, and I had an hour to wait. There were literally hundreds of people waiting for it, and when it arrived the train was a short one. I've never seen a panic like it. The crowds were about six deep trying to get on an already packed out train. We were like cattle. And then for health and safety reasons they wouldn't move the train. So an hour later, they added some more carriages. The train finally departed at 12.45am. I have never been more pleased to leave somewhere in my life. My whole journey took three hours and I wanted to wee for all of it...

Now, a real mate (and given that I've helped him out quite a bit before and been hospitable) might have said come back and doss on my sofa. I would not have minded if I had to sit up all night in a chair till the first train - at least I would have been indoors, with a cuppa and a loo. But he said nothing, offered nothing. That, for me, was it. This is not a friend. And certainly not a lover.

THE END.