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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Had enough of dh attitude

38 replies

sosotiredagain123 · 24/10/2014 23:09

He flatly refuses to do anything. I don't make unreasonable demands but he flatly refuses to do anything with the kids.

OP posts:
CheeseEqualsHappiness · 24/10/2014 23:09

Why?

sosotiredagain123 · 24/10/2014 23:10

For example I work 4 days a week he works ft therefore all school runs, concerts, parents evenings, weekend activities are my responsibility

OP posts:
Eebahgum · 24/10/2014 23:10

How old are your children? Has he always been like this?

sosotiredagain123 · 24/10/2014 23:10

I don't know why

OP posts:
sosotiredagain123 · 24/10/2014 23:11

They are 10 and 12 yes always been like this just flatly refuses to help

OP posts:
CheeseEqualsHappiness · 24/10/2014 23:13

How on earth have you done it for this long?!

sosotiredagain123 · 24/10/2014 23:14

I am so miserable, tired grumpy resentful. Just trying to sort my life out get career back on track rather than just a job around everybody else

OP posts:
BlackeyedSusan · 24/10/2014 23:15

then you flatly refuse to do other stuff if you do any of it already (his ironing washing and shopping and organising come to mind. )

cerealqueen · 24/10/2014 23:16

So what is the point of him in family life? If it's just money you'd get that as a single parent AND time off.....

sosotiredagain123 · 24/10/2014 23:16

If I refuses to wash, cook, clean then he moans and moans and threatens no money. He controls the finances

OP posts:
sosotiredagain123 · 24/10/2014 23:17

There is no point of him in family life wish he would just disappear but know a divorce would be very nasty and expensive

OP posts:
wannabestressfree · 24/10/2014 23:17

Bin him..... Ugh, poor you.

cerealqueen · 24/10/2014 23:18

He controls finances??? But you work.. What a fucker. What an absolute fucker.

ImperialBlether · 24/10/2014 23:19

OP, get yourself onto the Relationships board. You clearly have more problems than anyone can deal with here. Not saying that you should leave him, but it's something that you should think about, ie whether there's more pain having him there than not having him.

sosotiredagain123 · 24/10/2014 23:19

I am trying to change jobs he knows he is loosing some control so is being really difficult

OP posts:
cerealqueen · 24/10/2014 23:19

expensive, yes. But the waste here is your happiness. Poor and happy.

sosotiredagain123 · 24/10/2014 23:21

Would love him out of my life. He undermines what I say to the children so not helpful

OP posts:
cerealqueen · 24/10/2014 23:21

You've summed it up...control. Angry

cerealqueen · 24/10/2014 23:22

Agree you need the lovey women on Relationships, ask to have thread moved?

sosotiredagain123 · 24/10/2014 23:23

Sorry for posting in the wrong place how do I do the moving bit. I tried to get him to leave but he won't I have to leave

OP posts:
Leeds2 · 24/10/2014 23:24

Make sure your salary is paid into your account. Not his, or a joint account.

Would also stop doing his laundry. And food, if it is reasonable in your house to cook for you and the DC separately.

Ohfourfoxache · 24/10/2014 23:24

Yes, definitely see if you can get this moved to relationships - lots of help and support available

Why on earth are you putting up with it?

Could you get your salary paid into a separate account?

sosotiredagain123 · 24/10/2014 23:27

I don't know why I suppose just so tired and drained

OP posts:
morethanpotatoprints · 24/10/2014 23:28

OMG, you poor thing he is controlling you well and proper.
You deserve a medal after all this time, how can he be like this towards his family?
Yes, you have to leave, you shouldn't still be there. Are there really people like this?

cerealqueen · 24/10/2014 23:29

Report one of your posts and explain you want the thread moved. You'll get lots of great advice.