well i didnt expect that

[inadarkplace]

so for anyone who read my last thread about my husband being arrested for touching my daughter you know ive been really upset trying to come to terms with all this ive been driving myself crackers trying to work out how when why convinced he is innocent etc etc ive been supporting my daughter and crying my eyes out for my husband all week his family have been supportive saying how much he misses me he loves me etc etc today i turn on my facebook and im confronted with him befriending other women last tuesday apparently so that would be the fucking day after he last saw me so he really took a long time about that didn't he so much for being devastated and missing his kids he has fucked us off and is on to his next shag BASTARD im sure there is going to be a rational and reasonable explanation for it all but all i want to do is say bollocks ive been dealing with kids who miss their dad my eldest son has been smacking the living shit outof me verbally and physically this week because he is confused and angry and instead of sitting at his moms worrying and working with ss to get supervised access to his sons he has been looking for a fucking replacement all along AAAARRGGG SON OF A FUCKING BITCH

excuse my language but my personal view was i was waiting for the investigation to be finished before i took any action over our relationship yes ive took my ring off and yes his photos are down but im not looking for anyone im busy picking up the shreds of my life

im beginning to hate everything

Iflyaway have you ever found yourself in the OP's position? Unless you have I really don't think you'd have a clue how you'd react. The fact that she's concentrating on something that's happened on FB is probably because it's way easier to deal with that than have to think about the fact that her husband is probably an abuser.

I agree with Childrenofthedamned and Bogeyface.

The man she loved and believed to be a fantastic dad and stepdad, is suddenly accused of being child abuser by her daughter.

How could any of us get our heads round that if it happened to us?

Wouldn't we all be hoping it isn't true?
Wouldn't we all be hoping our DD was making false accusations?

Op is supporting her daughter.

Give her a break and stop kicking her when she's already down.

It would do some people well to read the other thread as well.

There are reasons the DD could be making this up, let's not pretend that never happens.

The OP is supporting her DD, some people really need to back off.

I don't think that expecting your daughter to crack up as a sign she is telling the truth is realistic. You seem to require her to behave in stereotypical victim mode and if she doesn't you infer she might be lying. I don't think that waiting for the police/ a court to decide for you is sensible either.

Either you believe her or you don't. And I don't think you do.

It's quite likely you know stuff that we don't. But I'm afraid you do sound a little like one of the many women who disbelieve an offspring's accusation of abuse because they can't cope without the man in question. Following his moves on FB rather confirms this.

If your daughter were lying you have to ask yourself why. She must be quite desperate to get rid of him.

Personally, I think you should give your daughter the benefit of the doubt, if you're wrong and he did what she alleges, she will figure out you don't believe her, and she may never forgive you. Stop looking for signs in her behaviour that feed your hope that you might get your ex back, it's not healthy. Accept that he's gone, and from his FB shenanigans he's no loss, and focus on sorting your children out.

I did read the other thread and the OP is supporting her DD but in the hedging her bets kind of way, which isn't that supportive. Hopefully, this Facebook incident might make it easier to commit to supporting her DD.

A grenade has been thrown into the OP's life and the fallout is huge. Given that there is so much going on and there is much to do, maybe now the OP can focus on the more immediate issues and right now her relationship with this man isn't one of them.

Is it worth contacting the women to say why you aren't together. Esp if the investigation is still happening you need to protect others from him..remember reading your thread so sorry to hear what happened.