So if your partner won't say he loves you or hug you, or kiss you...

[spotcheck]

it ain't good right?
The backstory: we've been together 2 years and broken up a few times. We were back together for 10 months -things were really good and he recently moved in. Just before he moved in he started to drift away a bit. Nothing I could put my finger on, but not as affectionate as he was(he's not hugely affectionate anyways).
Anyways, he moved in - its been a few months and I can't remember when he last said he loved me. Or hugged me. We've had sex about 3 times in the last few months and during some of those times he refused to kiss me . I've tried to talk to him but he says all is fine, he does love me etc etc.
I've said I can't live without affection and without being told I'm loved, but nothing has really changed.
I have kids, and he is brilliant with them - he loves being around them and they love him being here.
He's in his mid 40's, has never lived with someone with kids and has always been a bit of a lone wolf.
I'm hoping its all just an adjustment but think I'm probably fooling myself.
I feel so rejected, horrified, angry......

Thanks Spot. I don't know what to think really . Does he say he is in love with you?

OP, you could tie yourself in knots trying to diagnose, for want of a better word, his issues. Whether he's gay, a porn addict, deeply repressed or just plain disengaged, it's not your job to ferret it out and fix him; that's fora therapist to do, should he ever be self aware enough to consult one.

Your only job is to ensure a healthy, happy life for yourself and your DC; watching the inevitable toll your partner's coldness will take on your self-esteem will upset and unsettle them far more than this relationship ending would.

You have nothing to lose here, you deserve affection and intimacy and if this man cannot or will not give you that, you can part ways civilly with no drama, financial wrangling or upheaval for your DC. State what you need and tell him he can step up or step out.

Maybe you need to return him to the 'friend' category? If you actually like him, that is. He certainly doesn't sound like what you want out of a partner.

It sounds like maybe you were both hoping this would work out and 'fix' whatever his problem is, but it hasn't worked. Better not to keep trying to turn this into something it's just never going to be.

Get him to move out, and see if being friends works out. And then you are free to look out for a loving, sexual relationship which will give you what you need. And he can look for what he needs, or maybe try to get some help with dealing with whatever the problem is so that he understands what he wants and has slightly more chance of finding it.