How to tell if a bloke you start dating is only in for sex?

[gottafindaman4yagirl]

Ok...Started dating a guy I met on Pof and have had five dates and dtd on third date. He seems to be into me and there's physical chemistry but I am looking for a relationship and worried he just wants sex. He's younger by 9 yrs but mature and eager to spend time with me, holds my hand and compliments me. This is the first new relationship in over a year since my split and I could end up being used or just get it wrong.
He wants to meet up tomorrow and I suggested a bar in town but he wants to come to my house, he's stayed over twice before. I want to get intimate but also would like a relationship that's more than lust.

Any experience with men and how they act towards you when only after using you for sex?
I might sound stupid but spend most of my adult life in a relationship and have already met some users.

I am going to tell him that I'm looking for a meaningful relationship and not just sex and stop dating him. I feel shit that I am not listening to my own feelings. I don't want to feel like a piece of meat and reading others views, I feel pathetic and don't know how I got to be. I was last single age 18 so have alot to still learn about myself being single and I don't like meaningless sex is something I have learnt from this. Thanks all for input .

Hey, don't feel shit, feel strong!

You're getting out there, having a go, had a shag, then realised that you want more from a relationship than what you're getting. This is all a perfectly normal part of dating. You're working out what you want for yourself.

Feel proud of yourself for not putting up with what you don't want.

Yes, listen to your inner feelings about him and this relationship.
It may be deemed "old fashioned" but the way a man "dates" you in the early part of the relationship is important. He should be on his best behaviour. You want to feel adored and special and that he enjoys taking you out. You also want the sex that you like. Not porny (unless you like that) but intimate and time taken to learn about each other. If its not how you want it then don't settle for less. You deserve the best, don't you!

Don't feel bad! You can feel great that you are listening to yourself - my posts were mainly quoting things that you said so that you could hear your own voice more clearly. You can feel proud that you are making this decision to raise the bar.

Since you have quite a bit of time away from your children - EOW and one weeknight if I recall from your posts - could you identifiy activities that you want to do, for yourself, rather than looking directly for dates? That way, you would at least feel pleased that you had done that activity.

Someone decent may happen along as well. PoF may not be the best way to find what you are looking for.

Thanks for kind words john, panad & Random I feel better after sending a text explaining what I want is not what's going on between us and being older I'm looking for more than sex. Felt like a weight of my shoulders just saying what I want.
Random I generally keep busy just having a empty house at weekend makes me feel sad and friends and family all with partners but plan on staying with family this weekend or else I will end up drinking too much wine and moping about on Sunday.

You've done the right thing, and I felt you were being a bit hard on yourself when I read your earlier posts.

My experience in this is that one of two things will happen now. He'll either poof completely, which is good, OR he'll start to turn the charm on a bit to try to win you over. Just be prepared to get some sappy text from him at some point. May not happen, but in my experience there's more probability that it will.

You have done well to figure this out in such a short while..give yourself credit for that.

Definitely Hardy it will make him step up and start persuing you like you want or he will not be bothered because he was only after " fun".

Herdy sorry.

Sounds like the right decision. I don't warm to a man who describes women as "mental".

I wish I could offer some advice but I have things the opposite way round. I'm dating a guy just for the sex. We both know this because we talked about it and agreed that's how it would be. I usually go to his place we have sex, I stay the night and it's fine. Then today he announces he wants to take me out to his favourite restaurant.

Men are confusing.