The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Kicking The Wicked Wine Witch Where It Hurts! Mwahahahahahahaha!

[Mouseface]

Hey, I'm Mouse, welcome to the Bus (aka Gerald!)

We're a mixed bunch of folk, some have been here for a while, and of course we have some new additions too. It matters not one jot how long you travel with us, as long as you get something from it.

No matter your story, your needs, your fears and hopes, you CAN come on here and talk. You can cry, scream, rant, let it all out and not be judged for anything. Ever.

We've all been so very low, some have hit the very bottom of the rock, rubbed the bruising better and picked ourselves back up again but sometimes, you need a helping hand or someone to listen too.....which is why we're here, sharing our experiences, or just reading each other's and nodding as we click along.....

The support here is unconditional. :)

There are two banners down each side of Gerald, our super duper Bus saying -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

We have lots of food on board, but mainly Opal fruits!!! They tend to be anything other than green, as they get snapped up vair fast indeed!

If you would like to know a bit more about how we got to where we are today, you can read these threads.

THE PREVIOUS THREAD

THE START OF THE JOURNEY

Hope to see you soon :) x

mouse it's so good to hear from you, and I'm glad that you are getting by (not taking on too much I hope?) as always, your words are just perfect - I'm worrying about something that's happening tomorrow, and you saying 'take it a day at a time' just made me stop and think. So thank you.

I hope Nemo feels better soon and the mouse house is cosy and Christmassy

Oh.

Did I crash the Bus?

Hello?

hello ...? Anyone?

Hey Joey. Quiet on here tonight... (sweeps some dust and cobwebs off the dashboard and tunes the radio to some cheesey Christmas songs. Puts mince pies on the dashboard to tempt the babes out of hiding)

It is quiet tonight! How are you looking ?

Pops in to sample mince pies. Been at the hospital all day with dh having an angiogram and a stent put in. Told to be there for 8am but wasn't seen until after 12, then not allowed out until 6pm. Long day but all staff lovely. Dh is fine.

indie I hear you. Hugs are good but deeds are better. Well done on the client though.
Do you think if we wish hard enough that silver will pop in and say hello?
And rural
And thurso
Your Auden poem puts me in mind of another one.....hang on while I go get it

For an Absence

When I cannot be with you
I will send my love (so much
Is allowed to human lovers)
to watch over you in the dark -
A winged small presence
who never sleeps, however long
the night. Perhaps it cannot
protect or help,I do not know,
But it watches always, and so
you will sleep within my love
within the room, within the dark.
And when,restless, you wake
and see the room palely lit
by that watching, you will think,
"It is only dawn" and go
quiet to sleep again.

Wendell Berry.

I sent this to someone once.

Right, who's hogging the side car? Squeeze up will ya I need to shove my fat backside in. (Throwing lots of mince pies and a DustBuster at the bus by way of apology)

Evening ladies, ma, I'm afraid I'm one of those grumpy souls who doesn't enjoy poetry however in think that's the first time I've thought mumsnet is missing a like button. I get it for a change, it's beautiful and sad.

isinde not self pitying, at all. Not in the slightest. You drive away from seeing someone like that and just need to escape and the world just sort itself quietly for a while, sorry about your dm.

Another wine free Friday tomorrow, night all.

Morning babes. See the mince pies brought you all out of hiding last night

Mouse, lovely to hear from you. I have added some Christmas stilton to the ever building snack pile on the dashboard, just for you x You sound busy. It's wonderful what you are doing, it must be rewarding especially at this time of year, but don't wear yourself out lovely rodent, especially as your little fishy is under the weather. (((( hugs )))) to you and Nemo.

Joey I'm not too bad lovely. The stress at work is unbearable. Have now got my interview date for my own bloody job which has moved to another city and which I don't want (15th in case I go AWOL!! might just run away and don't want you all worrying!)

In the meantime I have seen another job and the deadline is today to apply ... but it is private sector and the timing sucks. If I were to get it (and that's a big if) I would have to leave work a few weeks short of my redundancy payout. And it sounds childish because this is a really good job, but I think if the bastards want to get rid of me after 12 years they at least owe me a bloody payout. And of course if I start a new job and it doesn't work out I will leave with nothing, no cushion of a years' salary behind me. And as I am the only solvent person in my family with two kids heading for university in the next couple of years, that is a very frightening thought.

In the meantime one of the worst thoughts is that I might get this interview on 15th and have to accept the job in yonder distant city . It's lose-lose really. If I get it I will be stuck with it and if I don't, after being here for 12 years and always being lauded as one of the best, it will be crushing to my self esteem and look crap on my CV.

D'aaaargh, will shut up now! Am driving myself crazy, let alone you lot . But any thoughts welcome (before the 5pm deadline. Always leave my job applications fashionably late, haha)

Isinde you don't sound self pitying at all. You sound stoic and brave. It's hard what you are going through, don't underestimate that, and make sure you give yourself a little space. It sounds to me like everyone is so used to you being strong and super-fantastic that they don't always realise when you need help. It's OK to ask for it you know. Big hugs from me ((( )

Ma, glad dh is OK. Hope you are some way to finding a solution at work too xxx

Popcorn, ahem, I just moved that dust with my ever efficient cleaning method of sweeping it hastily to one side with my hand. But will give the dustbuster a go. All together now - lift your feet in the air as I sweep through God, the crumbs in here already!!! We'll be buried by Christmas if we don't get on top of it now.

Right, work calls . Laters, taters. xxx

Morning babes

Happy Friday and stay strong, this time of year I feel hopeful and excited about a fresh New Year but the next few weeks bring alcohol scarily close and very much into our daily lives. I really truly want a calm, peaceful sober Christmas be as I simply can't be trusted after the first large glass.. Trouble is I'm not yet sure I can be trusted not to????

Never before did ODAAT seem more relevant.

Love to all this fine crisp Scottish day xxx

hope here's my two penneth

If the private sector job intrigues you then apply for it and when you get the interview, explain the only hurdle you see is the start date. You could be honest about the redundancy or invent a commitment but be firm. If they want you and remember you have a special skill set, they will probably find a way to accommodate you.

As for the other job, the one you don't want, blow the interview. Despite the cv, this is not what you want. Please don't find yourself trapped into it.

Either option should protect your redundancy and therefore some breathing space (whether new job is a good fit or time to search for alternative). Good luck honey xx

isinde not self pitying at all. Our relationships with our parents are often difficult but seeing them become frail and vunerable is devastating. Love to you xx

spanna a happy Santa!

I am afraid I am going to lose this post so will wave to ma, baby, popcorn, joey, Guggs, wry and all babes

Hi all
Munches mince pie.
Crowded in this here side car.

Hello all,

Sort of nightmareish?sp? time at home at the moment,
I do need to get back on this bus and my friends to try to not fall into the same old spiral!
I'm ok with the wine, mostly!, but my job is too hard, and DC2 is having a bit of a meltdown after leaving university, he is seeing a counsellor to get things into perspective, but I feel like a major failure, because why can't he talk to me? He has done, but said that a lot of things he doesn't want to talk to me about, because they involve his realationship with gf.

Gah, sorry mates
xxxx

Hello lovely thurso - and good to see you here. I think it is good that your ds is speaking to someone, and especially good that he is telling you he is speaking to someone. Honestly thurso would you ever have spoken to your Mum about masturbation or oral sex or orgasm, or where your clitoris was??? Or would you have spoken to her about your deepest hopes and dreams, or maybe you would have talked to your friends about that.....

Maybe your ds doesn't have that kind of close friend, and so speaking to a counsellor is a really great alternative (not a bad alternative) - it is probably much better than the advice he'd get from his friends, and speaking to someone neutral means that he can be completely open and honest a out everything.

Fwiw, I think you have brought him up to be sensitive and kind and supportive, and external validation of that will be very good for him.

And so my dilemma....

My exh was difficult and abusive. But over the years we've negotiated a reasonable and amicable way of communicating. It is 20 years since we have split. Exh has had several partners over the years, and has been with his current gf for about 5 years.

Exh has met my dp many times (we've been together for 18 years) and me exh and dp co-parented our dc together amicably and successfully.

I have never met exh's partner. I would be very happy and comfortable with a meeting, but it seems that she will not meet me. On several occasions (at dc's homes) she has been invited with exh but has declined any time when I would be present. The most recent is at a house warming party for my dd where my dd is trying to work out what time each of us will be there.

FFS. Grow up! (is what I think) exh's gf is creating some indo of tension and worry that was never there before - what on earth is she worried about??? Has exh told her that I am a monster? Well meet me and see what kind of monster I am...... Has exh told her I am an angel? Well meet me and see that my wings and halo have well and truly fallen from my head...

Or, after 20 years is exh still trying to subtly (or not so subtly) manipulate the child / parent relationship ??

Gah! It's driving me mad. I called and spoke to exh and it seems like it is his gfs worries are driving tings - it is HIS stuff to deal with, but it' affecting me and my interaction with my dcs.

Bah!

Thank you Venus,
You are absolutely right, I am just so worried at the moment.
It will pass, and I have spent a lot of time pondering, that because I am so soft, I really wished and tried to make sure that my boy's would grow up not being the same!, but they are very deep thinking and concerned about all sorts of things.
It will all come right
Thanks again
xxx

Sounds like a bit of jealousy and self-esteem issues there Venus
What is his Gf worried about?
Obvs I know you're a monster , but really, you have been such a brilliant Mum, maybe that's what get's her?
It sounds to me, as though she's not on safe ground.
xxx

Of couse, you're not a monster at all, in case you read that differently!
xxxT

venus sorry I'm not very wise.... I think it's not up to you to worry about it or fix it... I know that's hard if your DD is upset, but she is an adult now and has to work with her dad and his partner to sort it out.

Maybe it's not even you personally, it could have been any ex of his? You can't read her mind - there could be any reason, and without meeting her you won't know why. Does her opinion matter to you? Or is just that your DD wants her family together?

Venus is the least likely monster ever!
indie however, is another matter.