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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Angry, should I be?

55 replies

lexmark · 29/09/2006 19:58

This evening I got home from work and found a note from my wife saying she had gone to Paris for 4 days and she would see me next wednesday.

Am I right to be annoyed by this? I am fuming, I know why she's done it, she mentioned wanting to go a few months ago and I said we would, anyway a few weeks ago she asked if we could go over it and I said we'd talk about it another time, I was tired, just got in from work and wanted to relax, not go on about booking hotels etc. So I think she's done this to prove she can go without me. If I had done this she would've gone mental.

What are your opinions, am I over-reacting?

OP posts:
SherlockLGJ · 29/09/2006 19:59

Go girl.

Original poster
lexmark · 29/09/2006 20:01

You seriously don't think it's out of order for someone to just piss off abroad and leave their partners at home just because they didnt speak about it when they demanded?

OP posts:
Earlybird · 29/09/2006 20:04

Do you have children, and how old are they?

shazronnieWEARINGSHOES · 29/09/2006 20:06

I'd be pissed off!

SoupDragon · 29/09/2006 20:06

Welcome to Mumsnet, lexmark.

PcCOD · 29/09/2006 20:07

no
you are right

Original poster
lexmark · 29/09/2006 20:07

She has children, they are 8 and 10...she has already arranged for them to stay with her mother.

OP posts:
coppertop · 29/09/2006 20:09

It would depend on the circumstances. How badly did she need a break? How often do you get a break?

WideWebWitch · 29/09/2006 20:09

I'd be mad as hell if my dh did this. But is there some background? Surely she didn't just leave the kids and leave you to it? Have you maybe been a wanker? (i.e, might this be teaching you a lesson type thing?)

PcCOD · 29/09/2006 20:09

i thik she is tellign you summat mate

WideWebWitch · 29/09/2006 20:10

She's pissed off with you big time and wants you to grovel and/or miss her/apologise I reckon.

maggiesmama · 29/09/2006 20:11

i'd be furious...

and then, after a while and a bitch and moan, i'd wonder why. and i would be tempted to retaliate. and then i would take the advice of all my friends who would say i shouldnt.

Thomcat · 29/09/2006 20:11

ohhh is this another boring fake post?
Like - my husband wears prescription glasses even though he knows I hate them, how selfish type threads.

foxinsocks · 29/09/2006 20:12

if I was you, I'd be out on the piss already

a free weekend, and you're complaining!

no seriously, you've obviously not been 'listening' - I imagine this will be her complaint. She told you she wanted to go, you didn't take the hint so she's gone on her own to 'prove a point'.

Socci · 29/09/2006 20:12

Message withdrawn

Thomcat · 29/09/2006 20:17

So lexmark - how did you find Mumsnet? You wife goes to Paris without you leaving only a note and this is the first you know about it and you react by coming onto a website you've never used before to discuss it calmly with a bunch of strangers. How interesting

hub2dee · 29/09/2006 20:18

Is her sister cute ?

Thomcat · 29/09/2006 20:18

Must try harder.

WideWebWitch · 29/09/2006 20:28

tc you may have a point

Mellowma · 29/09/2006 20:34

Message withdrawn

alexsmum · 29/09/2006 20:36

why not follow her? sweep her off her feet?

Original poster
lexmark · 29/09/2006 20:39

I "found" the site as my wife is a member and uses it all the time, I posted on here as I know the majority of members are female and those are the opinions I wanted, plus I'm wanting her to see that I'm not the only one thinking she's out of order.

If I was a troll I would make up something funny at least.

Thanks for the warm welcome, if the site is "women only" maybe you should describe it as such.

OP posts:
coppertop · 29/09/2006 20:47

You didn't answer my questions.

Thomcat · 29/09/2006 20:51

Who mentioned anything about it being 'women only', aye, aye.

You wouldn't be the first to make up an unfunny fake first post and you won't be the last.

So - whos' your wife then?

ilovecaboose · 29/09/2006 20:51

IS there any background to this - stress in the relationship, is she having problems and so needed to get away she couldn't wait? Has she been acting differently recently?

You said she asked you a few times to book it - did she ask you a lot, or just a couple of times? Why couldn't she book it while asking you about it?

Just wondering exactly what the situation is.

I appreciate that coming home to an empty house to find a note and wife and kids gone away without warning is unsettling to say the least. Just wondering whether there was anything more behind it.

Also you say your wife is a member - have you come on here (assuming she would realise it was you posting if she saw this) to gain support against her from posters she considers friends? Surely if she is a regular member she would see this?