So nervous!

[Vixinafix]

I have for the last year been chatting online with my ex. We broke up due to his visa running out and him having to return home. It was devastating at the time but we both went on to have other relationships. Anyway neither of our relationships worked out and last yr we started talking again and all the feelings are still there. My problem is (and please don't laugh but it's really stressing me out) is that at Christmas he's flying back and we are spending a weekend together in a lovely hotel. It's not the physical side to it that I'm worrying about, it's the toilet aspect!!!! How will I go number 2 in a hotel room with him right there! It's been 17 yrs since we last saw each other and I'm dreading it! Part of me is laughing at myself for being so ridiculous but the other part is wondering how I'll deal with it. I've not been with anyone in 3 yrs so it's kind of nerve racking, and also a bit daft??

Very daft! Go downstairs in the hotel toilet? Send him to get some coffee to give you some time alone? Go for a romantic walk and find some toilets?!

17 yrs is so long, lots to catch up on, you will have a great time.

Put a bit of loo roll down the loo first , take some girl freshener and don't worry. Even the queen and George Clooney poo and they poo on posh yachts ;)

*air freshener.

Do you mean that he will be in the bathroom with you? or do you mean that any noise or smell will be embarrassing?

I think I'm just stressing as when I wake up in the morning I have to go pretty quickly. I'm dreading the "excuse me whilst I go and stink out the toilet lol". Kind of kills any romance!
No I don't mean he'll be in the toilet with me, just in hotels the toilet is hardly a million miles away from the bedroom.
I'm so excited to see him and don't want something so ridiculous to get me stressed out!

Go in bathroom, lock door, put shower on to run, have poo, have shower, get ready. Come on out.

I have to go really quickly too, so I know what you mean OP.
I have found that smells disappear really quickly from hotel bathrooms, I think they have super efficient extractor fans.
1, paper down loo.
2, no.2s.
3, open window if one available.
4, spray plenty of deodorant high into air.
5, take a towel in each hand and waft them about whilst pirouetting.
6, If possible have 2 min shower and emerge glowing.

I can pretty much guarantee that he won't care anyway.

Good idea, steamy shower will hopefully do the trick ;-)

And I'm laughing out loud at the dancing with towels idea, I would probably start snorting with laughter mid dance, then he'd really wonder what was going on!

It works.

I put the TV on before I go in, or whilst DH is in the loo. I hate hearing other people or them hearing me

In my experience it's always the bloke who sits on the toilet for ages making awful noises and stinking out the whole room so I wouldn't worry too much if I were you.

There is often not a window though so I understand your concern.

Satinlaces' advice seems spot on.

Thanks everyone, yes will be trying Satins tips. I think I'm putting too much pressure on myself for it to be a perfect weekend, he thinks I'm amazing which I'm having a hard time understanding! Hoping there's a good extractor fan, yes it's usually the blokes doing it and they don't seem to care. Need to be more bloke about it!

Love this!!

Try the shit n flush. No stink guarantee.Timing it exactly with the 'drop' onto a blanket of loo roll. Then shower and re-flush to get rid of the paper.

Or nip it and say you'll go get the papers for a leisurely lie in.

So wanna share a story but it may out me!!

This is your answer

I tried to Poo Pourri on a recent trip to London and it worked beautifully.

Oh op, I know exactly what you mean.

When my now-fiance proposed, he took me away to Barcelona for the weekend. We'd never shared a hotel room before and I was desperate not to make him regret proposing. ;)

We were in a tiny tiny guesthouse and were the only people there, except for the EXTREMELY over-attentive landlady. By the second night I was DYING for a crap, but didn't want to stink out the en-suite. So I grabbed my fags and casually told DF I was going out for a last cig. And no, he was very sweet but he didn't need to come with me. And yes, I'd be fine downstairs on the pavenent by myself. And YES I'd only be a few minutes, and YES I could see he had a huge erection, Jesus, just 5 minutes.

I crept out of our room, heading for the toilet I'd seen in the front hall. Was only two steps out the door when "HOLA MADAME! YOU ARE NEEDING SOMETHING YES?" the sodding landlady just appeared from NOWHERE and I got so flustered I almost shat myself on the stairs i just turned round and slammed back into our room in silence. Then had to do a huge stinky poo in the en-suite, with my face (and arse) burning in shame.

Oh whatsgoingon you've made me laugh but that's exactly the type of situation I'm dreading!!!
I'm wanting to hear fackinells story now......

Ok, but if you know me then shhh!! My sister's workmate was waiting in for a plumber to unblock her loo and was desperate for a crap. She knocked on her neighbour's door and asked if she could go for a wee. She opened the window, blanket of paper and was ready to speed shit.

First flush, it stayed put...burning with shame she tried again but it stubbornly remained. After the third flush and still no budging, she (almost in tears) wrapped it in toilet paper, put it in her pocket and took it home to throw in the bin. One of the funniest things was that she said she wished she'd just squatted and shat in the bin in the first place!!

She was called jobbie pocket Pam until she sadly passed on. We lost a character that day.

Oh and I meant to add that a month after meeting DP I contracted Noro virus which kicked in on a sleepover at his. Try sitting on the pan whilst simultaneously barfing in the sink (in the silence of night) complete with both end sound effects, nothing can ever embarrass you again!!

My name is v apt for this topic.

Firsly, don't use room spray, the combined odour of poo and the fake overpowering smell of Glade or whatever is rank, not to mention obvious! Just light a match, it works.

Always have the tap on.

I totally get where you're coming from, I'm totally ridiculous about stuff like this. I bloody hate those 'minimalistic' hotels where they have frosted glass so you can see when someone is sat on the loo. TMI

The idea of see-into bathrooms in hotels would prevent me and many others from ever returning. Baths in bedrooms ditto.

Why would anyone relish the idea of someone watching you on the loo.
(unless it's your thing of course) It could be a work colleague your sharing with.

I have to confess to being a very private person prude but really No No No.

I wouldn't put the shower on. From experience of DH, the shitty smell gets stuck in the steam, so a smelly cloud lingers.

You are going to have sex with a man you haven't seen for 17 years and you're worried about using the same toilet at him?

Can I direct you to this thread?
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/a2183619-Just-wanted-to-tell-you-about-2-truly-disgusting-things-that-happened-this-week