Should I be worried about my neighbour's behaviour? Red flags?

[ClapHandsIfYouBelieveInFatties]

This is LONG I am so sorry but I want all the story down...

I live in a block of 4 flats on the 2nd floor. Opposite me on the same floor is my neighbour. Her front door is feet from mine. She's in her mid twenties with one small toddler and she's a single parent.

When DH and I and our 2 DC moved in, she was very pleased and friendly. Great...nice to have a friendly neighbour.

However...she has come on very strong...so while I am happy to have a coffee/chat now and then and for her baby to come in to play with my DC she seems to wait for me to come back from school pick up and then immediately descend on us.

My DC love her baby so it's hard to say no...and as I say she IS friendly and obviously lonely.

But it was becoming daily and too much. She would offer all the time to look after my DC and when she asked about what we were doing for Halloween I told her we had a party invitation...she began to tell my DC that she would do their hair and makeup and "We;ll all go shopping together...me you and your Mum and I'll do this and I'll do that for your costume..."

And it was doing my head in because I like doing that sort of thing and want to do my own children thanks very much! So I told her yesterday when she mentioned it for about the tenth time "I'm doing them myself thanks" and she iimmediately said "No I'll do them better!" and then went into some weird thing with my older dd winking and saying "Oh what's that? You want ME to do it! Oh ok."

Then she always comments on what we're cooking..."Ooh that smelled nice...what you were making for lunch...where's mine?"

BUT ALL THE TIME! Like frigging EVERY time I cook she comments on it and hints for an invitation!

I sound crackers but it feels a bit odd. She also criticizes my garden and once went in and tidied it up...when the next day she came in to sit with me in it, she tried to tell me off about an upturned plant pot! When I shut her up about it she gave me a joking but firm push...so I had to sort of push her back to assert myself in my own bloody garden!

I am aware this all sounds a bit loopy by the way.

What's made me post is her ongoing obsession with her ex and some photos she's sent me. She seems to be labouring under the illusion that she's still in a relationship with him...and she talks about him all the time...how she shouted at him down the street (I have heard her do this) and how she's sent him 30 texts one after another....he' comes to collect the baby and leaves immediately. Never stays the night or even goes into her flat! but she thinks they're in a relationship? Is this some sign of a personality disorder?

This week she has sent me two pictures on What's App. One of a man at the bus stop who is unaware she's snapped him...for no reason other than she thought his shoes were odd (they weren't) and another of our downstairs neighbour...sent this morning as he said goodbye to a visitor and she's written "You've Been Snapped!" beneath it.

Is this a red flag? I feel uneasy? I deleted both images immediately as they felt weird.

Well your way of seeing the word "creepy" does not make it's use immature. Words and their use are very personal...people have different connotations in their minds when they use particular words. To me, "creepy" as a word is the perfect word for something which makes one uncomfortable in a general sense.

"I should have" doesn't come into anything really....I had no way of knowing how full-on she'd be. I thought she was friendly...but it slowly escalated. Hindsight is a great thing.

I don't "have to have a conversation" with her about anything. I owe her nothing. I've only lived here since Easter. She's not a close friend.

I don't bear any responsibility for HER actions either. Those are hers and hers alone.

OP, I think you have handled this well by cooling off. Well done on your 'that doesn't suit at all' response.

Thank you...I think I managed to work out that she was planning on dropping one of her bossy plans when she asked me if it was half term next week and that gave me time to work out a response...she was catching me off guard all the time as I'm just not used to such interfering bossiness!

Once, she was standing by my open door and saw that DD2 had not eaten much lunch and she said "Come on now! One mouthful and you can have an icecream"

[anger]

I said "Er no...she doesn't have to eat that. It's gone cold...she's fine thanks"

I mean. not [anger] !