How would you deal with this?

[ontheedgeagain]

Dh has been looking at teenage porn, found it accidentally. I am really uncomfortable with this as we have a dd the same age, I just cant get my head around why a fifty plus male would look at this stuff. Made me look at dh in whole new light. Really affected my relationship with him, just so wrong.

Laphem smacking in face with iron seems like a good idea, don't wont to break the iron though?? just need to reiterate this isn't illegal stuff, from what I saw. Just icky, they could be older but look young, who knows. I've no idea where I go from here, thanks for all the replies. IM not the first to find this stuff and wont be the last sadly.

London I assure you I will be doing lots, Im so mad right now. My Dd safety was never in doubt.

I'm sorry this has happened.

You're in a terrible position but it's of his making.

I have an idea where you go from here.

You tell him that you will be contacting the police and getting the computer checked so that you know what he has been accessing. Because you have no intention of now not doing that and putting yourself in a position where, if at a later date he is found to have been accessing child abuse images, you do not want to be explaining to social services that yes, you knew he was into 'teen' images, but did nothing to make sure your children were protected.

What you saw is not necessarily the full story of what he has been accessing.

The important point is, surely, that he is turned on by and actively seeks out images which focus on young girls. Whether that's 17-19 year olds or younger, you do not yet know. But you need to FIND OUT, not try and ignore this on the pretext that what you saw wasn't technically illegal.

I would be livid, but most of all devastated and worried. Because I cannot get away from the fact that perhaps of all the different 'groups' of men, those who have teenage daughters living in the house with them should be, surely, among the LEAST likely to find images of specifically YOUNGER girls/women a turn on. Precisely BECAUSE they have a teenager in their home, doing normal teenage things, demonstrating with every interaction that actually, they're still children. Just older children.

He is seeing these interactions and taking part in them every day and yet this is his choice of porn?

Please don't keep this within the 'safety' (for him) of your family unit.

This is not a child abuse issue, this is not a police issue, just another porn thread sadly, this was not downloaded stuff. It was a site which anyone can go on. A lot of men I used to work with did so! There is all sorts of stuff on there.
porn should not be so freely available on the internet end off.

Your responses are worrying me OP. I'm questioning if this thread is real actually.

Your husband was searching for SEXUAL FOOTAGE of TEEN GIRLS. That is illegal. There is intent there.

Burry your head if you will. No it's not just another porn thread.

The teens in those videos are being sexually abused

Porn is abuse though isn't it? The young girls thing just makes it a million times worse. This is a police issue - please don't minimise what he has done.

Teenagers?

If they're under age it's child abuse.

So, what are you doing about it?

Just cant get passed we have dd that age, what the hell is he thinking?

How old is your DD?

It's not "just another porn thread" if he has looked at a single image of someone who is underage. And he will have. That's what he's searching for! If he is searching for teen porn, then that is what he is hoping to find. That some of this will be over 18s posing as much younger is irrelevant.

What turns him on, what he fantasises about, what he wanks over is teenage girls and you have one the same age living in your house and, presumably, her friends are round too.

I would be disgusted with you if I were the parents of one of these friends and you didn't act decisively on this. You might be prepared to take risks with your own child, but you certainly shouldn't with anyone else's.

In fact, I am pretty disgusted anyway, that you're trying to excuse it.

Oh and if you can't get past it, there is only one solution surely?

Yes, a man who searches for images of 'teens' for sexual gratification comes under the heading of 'child abuse issue'.

Sex images of teens = CHILD ABUSE IMAGES. Not porn.

That's what your husband is searching out.

You think it's not a police issue? Why don't you call them and check?

In fact, if I were you, the fact the girls were the same age as my daughter would fill me with such anger and revulsion that I would have already kicked him out.

Really worrying. That's just the sites you've found on the computer. There's probably other stuff. He's looking for pictures of young girls. You have a daughter.
I couldn't have him in the house.

If you don't take this seriously then you are failing your daughter.

What does he do for work?

You're minimising, OP. Castlemilk gives excellent advice.

You'll be the one explaining to Social Services when they want to know why you kept quiet about the fact your DH was sexually attracted to TEENAGERS.

FFS.

What you have seen may not be illegal, but there may be stuff that he has accessed that is illegal.

In your situation, I would need to know EXACTLY what he has been looking at, and I would be giving his computer to the police to check. Just in case.

You are minimising this.

You claim your DD is safe, but how can you be sure? If he has wanked over photos of her in a swimsuit, is she still "safe"? If he has pulled back her covers when she is asleep and had a wank over that image, is she still "safe"? He could have a hidden camera in the bathroom ffs!

These are possibilities that you seem determined to ignore.

He enjoys thinking about fucking/abusing teenage girls. Your daughter is a teenage girl.

You cannot trust him.

Your marriage is over. He needs to leave. Now.

Not minimising. I am pretty tech savvy, he not, there's nothing else on there. Nothing that is illegal, I would find it.. Im off to sort it, and if I could wipe all the porn off the nett completely I would. No one is at risk in my household thanks. I know exactly what Im going to do about it.

Not sure about there, but here even VIEWING child porn (and it IS child porn if they are underage) is an offense. You don't have to download it or distribute it. There have been men who have (allegedly) been 'curious' or 'clicked the wrong link' for 'just a second' who have been arrested and in some cases convicted. It IS a reporting issue, if you choose to make it one. At the very least it is an issue that he needs to be confronted about.

I don't think you're really getting this OP. Within the porn industry the category of teen porn is legal if the girls are over 18.

If you download films from a registered porn company you can verify that the girls they use are 18 plus.

However with anonymous sites like youporn etc there's absolutely no way of being sure that the girls are over 18. That stuff is uploaded worldwide, there's no possible way of keeping tabs on all of it, particularly as some stuff is amateur.

I have a particular bee in my bonnet about teen porn, and I have looked on there myself, what I saw horrified me. While it's true some 18 year olds can look a lot younger, particularly if they are flat-chested, I am absolutely sure that not all those girls are 18 and some of them looked much younger. Some of the amateur footage was obviously uploaded without the knowledge and consent of the girls involved.

Furthermore the is a very strong correlation between the porn and trafficking, some trafficking is often specifically for porn and prostitution, particularly teenagers as they are easily exploitable.

Please google 'porn and trafficking' and read about the connections for yourself. There are a lot of girls who get caught in situations similar to the Oxford and Rotheham rings where they are first groomed and then used to make porn.

It was not child porn, nest of vipers out today. For all I/you or anyone else knows it could of been a 30 year old woman made up to look younger. Please stop attacking me.

The connections between porn and sex trafficking