Joint account?

[Littleburgundyboots]

Ok. Background,

Dp and I have lived together 3 years. We have a 6 mo baby. We are not married and aren't planning on getting married (neither of us that keen on weddings) but maybe one day to share the same name.
We rent and are lucky to pay low rent as property is owned by a member of my family.
We have separate bank accounts and I have read that we should have a joint one now but not sure why it's necessary? But I would like one.
I am receiving maternity allowance as my employer did not have to give me SMP. I am not returning to work there or at all for the foreseeable future due to childcare issues. I am happy to not be working (didn't have a career as such) and happy to do the large chunk of household chores, shopping, cooking and raising our child. Dp is happy for me to do this and says he will cover all bills and rent (currently 50/50) when my MA stops in a couple of months. He will give me an amount of money each week for food/nappies/incidentals and is happy for me to ask for more if I need it (new clothes etc).
Child benefit goes straight into a savings account in my name to be saved for baby. When my MA stops I will have nothing coming into my own account at all bar what he gives me.

Wise ladies of Mumsnet. Is this ok? Or should I ask for a joint account? And if I do... What reason do I give?

Problem with direct debits is in a very lean month it can leave the main account overdrawn, better to have the money from the last month's leftovers as this month's spends, than spend as you earn.

You need to reconsider your stance on marriage. It's the only thing that properly protects you

Summarise just reminded me of my mum telling me to always have my own money, as nothing is more degrading than having to ask your husband for money tampons. If it were me I would have the child benefit paid into my account, with the equivalent amount paid into the savings account each month from the joint account..

Annarose not summarise, auto correct

It's this simple. Income goes in to the Joint account. Joint outgoings come out (and nappies are a joint outgoing). A direct debit puts a set amount in each of your Individual accounts for individual spending and a set amount in to savings.

I agree with this completely. It is what we do and I find it simplest in that we then both know exactly how much individual spending money we have and can both charge things to the joint account which are joint.

I think, though, that to some extent you having access to a joint account is a bit of a fig leaf, given that none of the money in it will be earned by you and you aren't married so you wouldn't actually have any right to it in the advent of a split (except child maintenance on the assumption that you would have custody).

I don't think it's a great idea for anyone to give up financial independence but I think it's a particularly poor idea if you aren't married. If I were you, I would think again about this and either start at least working towards having a career of your own or get married to protect yourself. As things stand, you could not work for ten years and get nothing except child maintenance from your partner.

Our relationship has always (once living together) had a set amount above which we would discuss the purchace. At one time it was £100 and now it's £50. So neither of us buys anything over that amount without checking in with the other. Obvioudly we wouldn't go any buy multiple things for just below the agreed amount either!

If one of us is going on a shopping spree, we will agree before hand how much total we can afford.

Once I become a stay home dad, we will continue with this as we think it's a good thing to do, it helps to avoid impulse buys for one.

His business account is his personal account? No wonder its confusing! It should be separated out, your accountant must have a headache. Who is the company secretary or director or is he self employed? It makes a difference but his tax return must be hell, separating it all out.

It doesn't matter how much is in it or not in it. In fact, as you don't know, its probably even more important you have access to your family finances. What do he spend on that you know of? What's his plans for the business money? Invest in more gear, staff etc?

Giving you housekeeping! What about the rest of it? Is it saved for holidays and Christmas or is housekeeping supposed to cover all that and he has his money for his own personal use, or saving, Iyswim.

I don't see why you are 50/50 split. He earns more, saves on cheaper rent and has you doing all the housework and childcare. And he gets to veto if you need a new coat. What will you do if he says no and he won't let you see his account?

I've never understood why people insist on joint accounts.

With my own account, I have power and autonomy over it. If anything were to happen to DH or we were to split up my accounts remain in my control, no waiting for probate, no chance that he could take offence and clear out the account!

I know exactly how much money I have and don't have to justify my spending.

I am not at risk of DH spending too much and leaving me short through not realising what needs to be accounted for later in the month. Likewise me doing the same.

Money is put as side for bills and the remainder split equally so we have equal disposable income. This goes straight into my account on the same date every month.

We are both able to build up household savings as well as our own personal savings.

My own personal savings require no discussion as to their use, household savings are for maintenance if the home and holidays.

I personally feel you are more at risk with a joint account, not less at risk

You're not helping newbieman, you're making it sound as though OP isn't on her own, but for a start you're married and have all the legal protection that OP doesn't have.

His business account is his personal account?

Oh yeah, and I too just realised this.

With my own account, I have power and autonomy over it.

So, the OP could have power and autonomy over an empty account?

As far as being self employed and the business account.

Personally I separate personal and business accounts. How can he know his tax liabilities and income otherwise?

I'd also pay myself a regular basic wage which is enough to live on and receive bonuses only when there is enough in the business account to cover tax and that needed for capital expenditure.

*With my own account, I have power and autonomy over it.

So, the OP could have power and autonomy over an empty account?*

The issue here is in the accounting and apportionment of household income.

I'd actually very much recommend separate accounts rather than a joint account if one is shit with money.

Why jeopardize all the household income by having it in one pot? Why should one partner be without because of the financial recklessness of the other?

Neither of them appear to be shit with money. The advice I've read is to have individual accounts alongside a joint account. Joy, if you don't think she should have a joint account, what is your advice to the OP?

Yeah, no couple only has one account. Thats nuts. But also nuts is one account with 100% in it, and one account with 0% in it which has no access whatsover to the other one.

I'm so glad we never had an issue about this, the second we found I was pregnant DP wanted us to set up a joint account. I've always been very independent so the idea of asking for money to have lunch etc out on mat leave makes me cringe.

We always intended to put 'fun money' in individual accounts but have never got round to it, just mutually spend what we like but we're pretty alike in that sense.

If I were you definitely get a joint account but also insist he gets a seperate business account - that's too confusing. I very much run out finances but find it's really useful to set a budget and download from bank each month to compare and discuss. That way no one is the 'parent' - I used to worry all the time about money / savings and DP was blissfully unaware

I think that the problem here though joy is that the OP won't have any money to put in said sole account other than the amount given to her by her dp.

Personally I would feel vulnerable to be unmarried, not working and looking to someone else for financial security. When I say unmarried I mean the financial implications for op rather than any reason iyswim.

Get a good accountant for the business. Separate business and personal accounts and pay a basic living wage into the personal account.

Apportion that income into her individual account for the OP to control so they both have autonomy over their own share. If there is the money to do so, the business can pay out bonuses on an ad hoc basis and this too can be apportioned out in the same manner.

This way there's no 'asking for money' as a regular basic payment goes into both his and her accounts.

I've never had to ask for money as it's the same arrangement for both of us every month so we both know exactly where we stand. Only exception is in bonus months and that is additional income.

I happen to know that I spend way less than my DH, being more frugal with my share of the disposable income means I have have more savings than my husband and don't need to talk through any larger items of expenditure. It's also meant that he can chose to spend a little extra regularly on the things that matter most to him. There is no bean counting involved to see if our spending is fair because he regularly spends more and I intermittently spend big.

We have no disagreements with money by operating this system. Many couples do argue about money and I can see why if they operate from a joint account

Back in the seventies my mother had to get sanitary towels on prescription, because things were that bad between non working mother and working father.

There were a lot of issues but can you imagine having to justify buying sanpro.

I couldn't think of anything worse LisaMed.

I think my DH would feel the same if he felt he had to justify his monthly spending too. I would feel that way as I'm a bean counter type in my nature.

We both like the fairness of our system and the fact that we don't have to constantly reevaluate our outgoings and income every month despite being very different in our financial outlook.

would not* feel that way

OP, there are a few threads on Relationships at the moment where long relationships may end and the couple are not married. The women in those relationships are often very, very vulnerable.

If you give up your job to look after the children, it becomes very hard for you to re-establish your career at the same rate of pay, while your partner can carry on working and his career is not affected at all. This makes you very vulnerable.

Please, please reconsider marriage, even if you two just go along on your own and you don't even tell anyone you're married. It makes such a difference if things go wrong.

Great post imperialblether

Ok, reconsidering marriage. What are the benefits of marriage over living together with a joint account and wills stating each other as next of kin?

Very interesting posts... Thank you all x