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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Feel like I'm losing control...

43 replies

ScouseBird8364 · 20/09/2014 21:29

Sad I'm sorry to post in AIBU but I couldn't find the relevant section Sad

I feel like I'm literally losing it, I'm sat here in tears and feel like there is literally no one who cares or gives a shit about me Sad

I don't have friends, I care for my husband who clearly doesn't give a shit, my two boys, one of who doesn't listen to a word I say, he's 4 next week but has been such hard work for 2 years he sends me insane I really want to just run away :,(

I'm pregnant too but am just cracking up I really am Sad Sad ;,(

I've just screamed at my kids, who does that?? I've never felt so lost, so unloved and unappreciated it's breakinh me down, hub will just say what's up with you and if I try to talk to him he just moans and says oh it's all about you isn't it...Sad[sadSad

I just don't know where to turn anymore :,( :,( I wish I just had friends I could call, like any normal person has :,( I feel like running out the door right now and hoping something just happens to me :,( :,( :,(

OP posts:
BloodyUserName · 20/09/2014 21:30
Thanks
BloodyUserName · 20/09/2014 21:32

I'm so sorry you feel so low, others will be along soon with good advice and sensible help but I just wanted to reply and say it WILL get better!!!!

wheresthelight · 20/09/2014 21:35

Aww sweetie!!! kids are really hard work when you have a supportive partner and they behave let alone when they act like the spawn of Satan! sending you big hugs xxxx

first off grab a good book, a glass of wine substitute and run a hot bath and relax a bit.

speak to your midwife on monday as I am sure they can put you in touch with other mums or pregnancy related groups which will help you make friends

why is it you feel you don't have any?

as for your hubby - is he always a prat or is there something going on? he needs to support your emotionally as well as practically. can you tell him how you feel irrespective or does he get shouty

AdmitYouKnowImRight · 20/09/2014 21:36

I know where you're coming from.

OraProNobis · 20/09/2014 21:37

I'm also sorry you're feeling so crap. I think we all go through times like this at various stages of our lives. You have children who totally depend upon and need you and it sounds like you need help. I'm no expert but I'd say GP and make that first thing Monday. Have you felt this way for long?

OlderMummy1 · 20/09/2014 21:38

Is there a reason why you don't have friends? Are you new to the area or do you just find it hard to make friends? X

Gatehouse77 · 20/09/2014 21:39

Call The Samaritans 08457 90 90 90

They are there to be a 'friend' you can talk to.
They won't judge you.
They will listen to you and do their best to help you find a pathway out of where you are atm.

Please call. Whilst you may feel alone, you are not.

Original poster
ScouseBird8364 · 20/09/2014 21:41

wheres I just don't have close friends Sad

He isn't a horrible person and can be great but since he had his Stroke he always just says to me he has enough problems of his own, but isn't he supposed to be there for me too? Sad I came home earlier today after seeing my mum for coffee, and as soon as I walked through door he has his usual negative face and mood Sad It's physically draining me it really is Sad

My boys are my world but my 4 year old really is outrageous :,( we were in New Look today and he's throwing jewellery all over the God damn shop :,( I feel as though I have absolutely zero control over him it's unreal :,(

I get really bad Anxiety but came off my meds when I found out I was pregnant, which was unplanned and I'm terrified about Sad how the hell am I going to cope with another child when I'm so close to the edge right now :,(

All I want is for someone to care Sad Sad Sad Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
ScouseBird8364 · 20/09/2014 21:46

Thankyou for the flowers and your kind words Bloody x

OP posts:
MNHQ
DawnMumsnet · 20/09/2014 21:48

Hi ScouseBird,

We're really sorry you're having such a hard time right now Flowers

Just wondered if you'd like us to move your thread over to Relationships or anywhere else? Please let us know, we'll happily move it over for you.

Original poster
ScouseBird8364 · 20/09/2014 21:50

Older, not new to area no, as I was growing up the majority of my school friends went to Uni as I took a different path, so we just drifted, and the friends I've made since, from various jobs over the years have settled and not stayed close Sad :,(

Both me and hubby get so down about not being able to work right now, due to his Stroke, we always worked and I HATE not Sad

I'm studying for a degree which keeps me slightly more sane but then feel so much guilt thinking that time should be spent with my boys and not studying Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
ScouseBird8364 · 20/09/2014 21:51

Hi Dawn, sorry for posting here, I was looking for the relevant section but could not find one, yes please I'd appreciate that thankyou x

OP posts:
BloodyUserName · 20/09/2014 21:58

Scouse you'll get some fab advice over in Relationships. I'm not the best on kiddy advice being child free however I do suffer anxiety (now under control) and have felt like I've wanted to run away in the night on more than one occasion. I'm much better now so I know it can be beaten.

BloodyUserName · 20/09/2014 22:00

Oops I crossed your name out instead of bolding it Blush

daisychain01 · 20/09/2014 22:02

Sorry you are feeling down at the moment Scousebird. Please care for yourself, you need to keep up your strength for both you and your baby.

Could you make an appointment to see your GP. I think that could be a good starting point to get some more support. So you have any RL support, even though your DC school network? Neighbours? It is awful being isolated but maybe you can start building a bit of a network around you.

Tardis maybe you need this to time- travel to some gorgeous desert island away from all the hassle. Thats how I feel some of the time! Grin

Xx

daisychain01 · 20/09/2014 22:03

bloodyusername

Tardis sounds like you need one of these as well Grin

wheresthelight · 20/09/2014 22:04

you definitely need to speak to your midwife or gp, I suffer with a anxiety disorder and was able to take meds during pregnancy so please speak to them!! as for your husband's stroke that must be awful for both of you but yes he still needs to support you. unfortunately a lot of stroke victims lose their ability to empathise so could this be part of his problem do you think?

there are charities and organisations out there to help you and support you both so please go to them!! I want to say it's scope for strokes but I may be wrong.

pm me if you want to chat hun

Original poster
ScouseBird8364 · 20/09/2014 22:05

daisy that made me smile a little, through the tears...Hubby just shouted at little one, and said "I've got enough with your mum throwing a tantrum downstairs... "! That's what he thinks I'm doing, 'throwing a tantrum', yet I've been crying since about 9.10 :,( :,( :,( Sad Sad Sad

OP posts:
MammaTJ · 20/09/2014 22:07

I've just screamed at my kids, who does that?? We all do sometimes!

Not a lot but sometimes we do. It depends how hard our buttons are pushed and where we are emotionally at the time, but we all do it.

BloodyUserName · 20/09/2014 22:07

I echo peoples advice about seeing a doctor/midwife though. You don't have to feel this low.

maddening · 20/09/2014 22:13

A couple my mum has known for 30 years where the wife had a stroke - my mum witnessed her Firenze being absolutely vile to her husband - the things she said were delusional and she was very depressed and obviously down to the stroke - she is getting better slowly but her husband has stuck with her despite her behaviour because he knew this was from the stroke - however he wasn't pg with a child and if you're depressed also it means you don't have the resource to help him - you both need support.

niddy · 20/09/2014 22:15

Sounds like you have an awful lot going on at the moment. You are not going mad, just struggling at the moment as many of us do even with well, supportive partners.
Be kind to yourself. Speak up and ask for some support. You are not alone. Take care. X

daisychain01 · 20/09/2014 22:15

Try to get some rest and dry those tears, you'll go rusty!

X

NotQuiteSoOnEdge · 20/09/2014 22:15

I worry about the dynamic here with your DH.

Has he got long term implications following the stroke? Do you feel alone because he can't help, or because you believe he could and won't?

Shouting such things at your DCs is really not on. Is he often like this?

Original poster
ScouseBird8364 · 20/09/2014 22:17

wheresthelight, see this is what I struggle with, as he does tell me he's lost his emotional ability but at times I do question this?

He did bring me a small bunch of flowers home, unexpectedly a couple of days ago, but still has a major struggle with listening to me when I'm upset, if I want to talk to him he gets all tetchy and can't seem to cope with me being down, or anxious, upset etc Sad Sad

OP posts: