Feel like I'm losing control...

[ScouseBird8364]

I'm sorry to post in AIBU but I couldn't find the relevant section

I feel like I'm literally losing it, I'm sat here in tears and feel like there is literally no one who cares or gives a shit about me

I don't have friends, I care for my husband who clearly doesn't give a shit, my two boys, one of who doesn't listen to a word I say, he's 4 next week but has been such hard work for 2 years he sends me insane I really want to just run away :,(

I'm pregnant too but am just cracking up I really am ;,(

I've just screamed at my kids, who does that?? I've never felt so lost, so unloved and unappreciated it's breakinh me down, hub will just say what's up with you and if I try to talk to him he just moans and says oh it's all about you isn't it...[sad

I just don't know where to turn anymore :,( :,( I wish I just had friends I could call, like any normal person has :,( I feel like running out the door right now and hoping something just happens to me :,( :,( :,(

niddy, thankyou for that, as I do feel I am just going mad :,( x

NotQuite yes, he's been left with mental and cognitive defects as opposed to physical, the side of the brain that was affected was the side which controls things like emotional ability, executive functioning etc. plus he's having to go through a lot of Urology tests at the mun, and awaiting a scan - the brain has been affected where the signals tell us when we need the loo basically and he has major trouble with both bowel and bladder since Stroke, which has reached a peak the past 2 months

My 4yr old does not sleep either which is a killer, as I literally don't get any time whatsoever in the evening to relax or wind down, he's sat with me now on couch, he just will NOT go to bed, was up before with hubby but just whinging for me constantly

daisy I had an image of the Tinman from the Wizard of Oz with your last comment

Thanks for making me smile again x

I'm pathetic, sat here crying whilst my 4 year old is sat next to me, just looking at me :,( :,(

Aw love, you're not pathetic, you're going through a very difficult and rough patch and you're human (and not a tinman - I'm certain you have a heart)

Is it possible to persuade your mum to take the kids, just for a day or overnight in the next few days? Everybody needs a break every now and then or you go nuts. It's not a long term solution, but the thought of having a rest from it and a day to yourself to do whatever you want may just get you through the short term and give you space to think about what you need / want to change in the long term.

I feel for your husband having had a stroke, but that doesn't mean his needs 'trump' yours forever. Despite what he says, you need to let him know that you're not happy and you're not coping. Even if he's useless at least he can't accuse you of not communicating with him.

I'm craving a hug :,( just a hug from him and for him to tell me it will all be ok, just like he used to :,( :,(

That last comment is very sad, wish I could help. You are getting great support on here so remember you are cared about if only in a MN hand holding way.

Do try to get RL practical support for you and DH x

Thank you Daisy xx I am a strong and independent woman, but you know at times when you just want and need to be held and told you're important and loved

I know, scouse! You are strong, you will get through on that strength of character alone, just take things day by day at the moment. Hope you can get some rest. Affection is very important, i do hope your DHs health improves over time. A lot for you to cope with, my friend x

You are definitely not alone, my youngest sounds like your 4yr old...... As a baby cried all day and hardly slept, as a toddler and infant they tested him for everything ADHD; autism etc....we always suspected there was nothing wrong he was just clever and knew exactly how to wind me up, and that's what the doctors said in the end too.

But your son may have a manageable condition, so talk to your GP about that too.

I often screamed at him, and cried, and felt like walking away and never coming back, and that was with a healthy husband, so don't be so tough on yourself, you have so much to cope with and there's only one of you.

As for your studies, it's amazing that you are still motivated, don't feel guilty, you are setting a fabulous example to you kids, even though they won't realise this for years to come xx

P.s. My "horror" is now 16and the light of my life

yougotafriend I've just read your message and almost cried again! I don't know what's wrong with me! Thank you, that means a lot and reassuring about your lo too. I have raised the question about conditions in my son, to GP, consultants and nursery SEN staff but they're all adamant he has nothing, and, as with yours, just knows how and when to push my buttons, I just keep wondering whether he'll grow out of it and whether there is a light at the end of the tunnel He's so full of affection too but such a handful of horror at the same time! My 6 year old is amazing, like a dream child and at times I feel like the attention is all on the 3year old because of his bad behaviour

I feel as though there is a black cloud over our home Like it's me who HAS to try and be positive and jolly all the time for both me AND him, but it's gotten to the point where it's started to get me down, I mean really down

I'm forever snapping at the boys for the simplest of things, and finding my motivation is slowly slipping away

I do have a GP apt booked for Tues, but I'm a little worried as the DR knows all about my hubby's struggles medically at the min (he suffers with severe Anxiety aswell), if I go and ask for help, maybe some talking therapy and SSRIs again, will I be at risk for her contacting Social Services to say we both can't cope?? This is why I'm in 2 minds about actually going to the apt on Tuesday?

Attention is the word. Children love attention and some don't actually care if you're yelling at them or laughing with them in order to get it. if you're struggling to manage a difficult partner & worried about life in general, your attention will be elsewhere.

I would encourage you to go along to your Tues GP appointment, Scouse, just talking with a trusted person such as a medical profession shares the burden, and also explain your anxiety about perception of not coping. It feels hard, but remember they are there to help, not to take things aways from you or split up your family.

It may help if you have a few moments to spare, before Tuesday, to jot down a few ideas to yourself in writing about what you want to talk to the GP about. Dont feel embarassed about getting out the list at the appointment and go through those important things to ensure you come away feeling you have covered what you need. It will help to maximise the appt time as, if you are like me, your mind just goes blank in the Drs surgery!

It will be one step on the road to have RL support. Even that may make you feel more in control again. You'll get there.

daisychain your comments have been lovely do you want to be my friend ha ha?! x

Sure!

If you feel up to it after your appointment on Tues let us know how it goes and if it helped to start to move your situation forward. It wont happen in a day but its preogress Im sure everyone on here will want to know you are OK and have RL support.

Take it steady there!