AIBU-to be irked after DH refused to touch my "gut"

[contrarianaquarian]

the other night while we were getting into bed, DH put his arms around me and I semi-jokingly said, "you know, I'm getting a gut...check it out" and his response was, "Uhh, no thanks!" and seemed to freeze up a bit (I'm not overweight by any means, but then again I do not have a chiselled 6 pack either-- I'm in my early 40s and did run a marathon this year and I can still pull off a bikini thank you very much). I then said, "you could say something nice to me, you know" and his answer was "you look ...good".
WTF is that?!

The problem with fishing is you don't always catch something.

I wasn't looking for a compliment, there is a squidgy tummy developing and I guess I wanted him to not mind that it was there... Instead I think I grossed him out

at bellerations - true indeed.

The other truth is - 'don't look for sympathy on Mumsnet, as it will seldom be found'

I'm getting a gut? Well that's a passion killer for a start.And it does sound as if you were fishing for compliments.

Reminds me of these horrible fat blokes that proudly shake their beer belly at you whilst saying 'All bought and paid for!!!' If you don't want someone to recoil, maybe don't call it a 'gut'?

Gut is a horrible word, maybe it's that

It's one of those situations where men can feel "damned if you do, damned if you don't".

Do you want him to agree it is a bit of a gut and suggest ways to improve it?
To agree and sympathise?
To claim not to have noticed it?
To say he loves you whatever your shape?

So freezing, then making a non-committal comment was his effort at not saying the wrong thing in a tricky situation.

Leave him now!

Nothing worse than tummy fat.

'Gut'

I'm imaging a 'beer gut'

"Leave him now!"

Sarcasm I hope :)
He was probably shitting himself wondering how it was possible to give the correct answer out of AMumInScotland's list, lol.

Worse is an expression my brother uses - "gunt". I'll leave you to work it out.

If you weren't fishing for a compliment, then what were you doing?

I don't understand why you brought it up.

You wanted reassurance that he loved you even with your "gut"? Weren't you cuddling in bed at the time?

I think you are being unreasonable.

I really can't see what he did wrong.

I think I'd say 'eurgh' if my husband asked me to touch his fat gut, even though he doesn't have one. It sounds deeply unattractive.

Omg lol. Me and DP always talk about our body parts, the bits we like and the bits we dont like. Whats odd about that? Were honest with each other and reassure where its needed, give advice where its needed.

He probably froze because maybe he was worried about your reaction?

Don't helpfully point out things like that. That way he won't notice!!!!:D

I suspect he thinks if he says it's fine that you'll let it get worse which he doesnt want. I'm only guessing, he's your hubby.

but i am sure you are beautiful , what with your marathon running and all that. Yes you are stunning and amazing. Well done.

Just think you could be like me with a flabby gut and thick chunky thighs

And she can still pull off a bikini thank you very much!

You can't have a gut if you can pull off a bikini. By which it sounds as though you mean you look good in it rather than letting it all hang out.

Just sounds to me that he doesn't like the word gut or perhaps the thought of you having one as you don't now. Is that how you meant it?

Multiple explanations. Most have been covered. One is that, as you're pretty slim, he was generally a bit annoyed at the comment. It's annoying when people who are a normal weight make remarks about their "fatness". Not so annoying when they (worryingly) believe it but pretty annoying when they obviously don't. You seem to have conceded that you aren't "fat" so maybe this applies.

Gut isn't the most romantic word I can think of.

Fishing for compliments has the habit of back firing. Just saying.