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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

my great nanna is going to die today

66 replies

wilddogbert · 13/09/2014 20:15

Well soon anyway I am with her now and it won't be long. It feels so unfair even though I am aware that it isn't she has lived for years and she has 6 great great grandchildren who love her.

My grandmother was a rather bitter woman who only visits her mother once a year and my mother has ran off to some country or another so she never visited her much either but she is so lovely really she is and the DCs all love her so much and we see her at least 3 times a week.

She has been going down hill for two years or so she used to go out with her sister/best friend every Saturday but then her sister died and she stopped leaving the house.

She called me last week with a pain in her chest. She is too old and frail for the operation and then she stopped drinking and eating and apart from Sunday when I took the DCs to see her she has just been so quiet and sad.

My brother is sick and lives the other end of the country so he can't be here now though he did see her last weekend. My grandmother said that she was on holiday (not that I really want her here) her last brother (she was one of 10) lives too far away and I'd too frail to travel.

So it's just me here now. My DH was here put I sent him home to put the DCs to bed because they will be upset and the ILs will need a break. He is coming back at some point.

It's feels wrong that she is going I am 6 months pregnant with twins and she was so excited and now she won't meet them.

Sorry this is just a rant it's just me and her in a room with a nurse checking on her occasionally who offers me tea.

OP posts:
EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 13/09/2014 21:53

Oh, goodness, Dogbert - what a hard time for you, BUT what a lovely thing you are doing. So very difficult to be with someone you love who is leaving forever, but you will feel glad about it later (at the same time as feeling sad). I mean glad you were with her, to make her final moments a bit easier, and she will know you were with her, and she will definitely recognise your sweet singing. Flowers Flowers and a hug x

aermingers · 13/09/2014 21:58

[Thanks] So sorry. My Gran is old and hasn't been in the best of health recently. I'm very close to her and she's the glue that sticks our family together, so I empathise.

I know it is small consolation, but just from your email I can see how much she was loved and how much she meant to your family and you must all have brought her so much happiness.

chocolatespiders · 13/09/2014 21:58

You are a good person.. Wishing your nanna a very peaceful night.

FiveGoMadInDorset · 13/09/2014 22:01

beautiful posts and hope the last few hours/days will be peaceful for you both xx

NorksEnormous · 13/09/2014 22:02

You are a lovely person x

ByeByeButterfly · 13/09/2014 22:04

What a beautiful thing you are doing for your great grandmother.

She sounds amazing and so do you.

I hope her passing is peaceful.

I am sorry you are going through this.

I hope she had a happy life x

Thecircle · 13/09/2014 22:16

This has really touched me.

Both my nanas died in hospital, my maternal nan was all alone and my paternal nan had one of my uncles with her.

I'd give anything to have their last five minutes with them both despite knowing how awful saying goodbye would be.

I'll be thinking of you and your great gran tonight opFlowers

Larrytheleprechaun · 13/09/2014 22:22

She knows she is loved. And she knows she is not alone. She won't be afraid knowing you are with her. No matter how old they are they mean so much to us.

purplemeggie · 13/09/2014 22:32

Thinking of you and your Great Nanna. You being there will be such a comfort to her and it will come to be a comfort to you, too. I hope it is peaceful, when her time comes. Flowers

HSMMaCM · 13/09/2014 22:39

Sat with my father not long ago as he was breathing his last. My thoughts are with you.

wilddogbert · 13/09/2014 23:00

Thank you all
She is still with us for now. You are all right she is loved so much by all of us and she had a very happy life.growing up on a farm with her siblings and riding on the handle bars of her dad's bike into the village.
She told the DCs about being a teenager in WW2 and setting fires on the mountain so it looked like a city.
And losing family to a mining disaster and getting married and working in a school. We all love her stories so much and her passion and the cheeky smile she always pulled if there was something rude on television.

OP posts:
wilddogbert · 13/09/2014 23:05

And she wouldn't let us call her great nanna because she said that made her old. So she was just nanna to us.

OP posts:
OvertiredandConfused · 13/09/2014 23:27

Thinking of you OP. I've said a prayer for you and your nana.

storytopper · 13/09/2014 23:32

You are a lovely kind person. I hope she passes peacefully. Thanks

TSSDNCOP · 13/09/2014 23:32

When I am old I hope I have a great GD like you. It won't happen because I'm quite old now, but you never know.

Keep talking and talking. This is your chance. Not many people get t help a person meet the end of their life in peace.

God bless you and your Nanna.

CarbeDiem · 14/09/2014 00:31

God bless you and your dear Nanna.

How beautiful that you will be with her to hold her hand and that she can hear your voice as she leaves this life. She'll know she was loved and cherished by you.
Wishing you strength lovely and wish your Nanna a peaceful calm passing.
Xxxx

LatteLoverLovesLattes · 14/09/2014 00:43

She sounds lovely :)

How old is she? I am amazed anyone old enough to post as an adult has a great grandmother still. Lucky, very lucky. Mind you, sounds like you needed someone like her to outweigh some of the others!

I'm glad DH is there now with supplies.

Keep talking to her, it doesn't matter if you are repeating things, it will be lovely to hear your voice. I too hope that she's going to your Great Grandad x

HappierThanEverBefore · 14/09/2014 00:53

Thinking of you

lunar1 · 14/09/2014 07:29

Thinking of you this morning.

Meerka · 14/09/2014 09:40

Thinking of you and of her.

CurtWild · 14/09/2014 09:45

You are a lovely GGD, your nanna is very lucky. I wish I could've been there when my grandma passed, she was like an extra mum to me. She died alone at a nursing home..they didn't even inform us her condition had deteriorated so no one was aware she was close to the end. The thought still breaks ny heart.

Wishing you strength and love x

Imnotaslimjim · 14/09/2014 09:49

You are doing a wonderful, brave thing. I'm sure she knows you're with her. My thoughts are with you, I hope her passing is peaceful

MsAnthropic · 14/09/2014 09:49

I'm so sorry Thanks She's very lucky to have you with her.

Preciousbane · 14/09/2014 09:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wilddogbert · 14/09/2014 10:58

Thank you so much for your kindness. Thanks
She passed away just after 5 this morning when I had got up to stretch my legs. I had to run back to her and I made it just in time.

I then called the rest of the family to tell them she was gone her brother and my DB are both gutted. My grandmother was noncommittal.
We told the DCs an hour ago which was heartbreaking.

OP posts: