'DH' wants to keep rights to house but not pay mortgage.

[trackerc]

STBXH has announced he wants to retain his name on mortgage & house, though I am to pay entirety of mortgage & household expenditure with our LO.
He says that him leaving & having to rent a flat is what he would've been putting in the household & he won't pay but won't relinquish rights to the house. He'd originally said he'd sign over the house & I've been working on that assumption trying to negotiate a mortgage etc.
Using him not leaving as a veiled threat. - It's unsustainable in the house (or at least for me) & can't really tell LO too much as it'll be confusing if nothing really changes, so feeling in such limbo :-(
Also demanding over £10k & a car as 'set up new home' expenses. Refusing to take joint furniture.
Had free legal advice but he's just shocked me with this new info. Is this all possible?

Go to a different solicitor to get another freebie.

You really need some proper advice. What equity is in the house, if any? What savings or other assets do you have? What's the house worth? How old is lo?

Does he realise that if he stays on the mortgage he is liable to pay it?
I agree with Fluffy, get more legal advice.

Is there much equity in the house? And why does he think that you have to meet all your child's costs? Has he not heard of CSA?

I can see why he's STBXH! What a twat, does he think you're his mother, you're not responsible for his living costs! Tell him to buy a blinking flat then, he can get his own flippin' mortgage, (I'm trying really hard not to swear, can you tell?) and put "what he'd have been paying" into that... why would anyone pay for their ex to own half their house (presumably he means post divorce that you'll be still paying his half?) Hah! What an idiot. As fluffyjumper said, get sone advice from someone who knows the ins and outs of these things, but in the mean time don't give him any money! Hope things get sorted for you and DC soon or if you prefer

Get an estate agent round to value the property. Not some fantasy figure but a realistic one, priced to sell. That's how much equity he shares with you. Any future increase in value is yours alone as long as you are the only one making the payments.

Be warned, if he's utterly intransigent you won't be able to mortgage the property in your sole name without his signature on the papers, just like you wouldn't be able to sell it to a third party.

Also, he can fuck off with his demanding over 10k & a car as 'set up new home' expenses unless there's 20k in joint savings.

How much has he agreed to pay you in child-support? It's my understanding that CSA will take 15% of his take-home pay.

Thanks for advice, wisdom & support.
He wants to negotiate on what CSA calculator says he should pay for maintenance, at first said he'd pay for school dinners as maintenance ! He says as I earn more (not much more) he doesn't think he'd have to pay so much. He's been off sick on full pay for months just lolling round the house & now wants me to pay full mortgage for 15yrs & he reap benefit. Grrr
Equity in house - less than £20k. Savings - about £6k. Both cars in my name & I'm prepared to give him one but he now wants over £10k, plus car & can't itemise why, just that if I want him gone hell go this is the price but he'll keep the house too (yet wont pay it). It's the family home so no way would I put it in jeopardy by not paying.
I will seek more legal advice - before I get an appt, was just hoping for experience/ insight as it'll whir round in my head.

School dinners as maintenance!

Listen, it doesn't matter whether you earn ten times what he does. He has a responsibility to contribute to his child's upkeep, and that's not based on what you earn, it's based on what he does. 15% of his take-home pay as an absolute minimum.

If you've only got 6k in savings between you where does he think this magic 10k will be coming from?

Fucking wanker

We'd tried to sell the house last year so had a few valuations, but today he says the valuations & equity are irrelevant as he wants to keep the house, himself on the mortgage (without the hassle of paying it) & the proceeds at the end.
My suggestion of maintenance was 12.5% - his proposal was 10% take home pay.
Things just very stressful, I'm trying to keep everything going, work full time. He's been off sick 6 mths, lying on sofa & going through paperwork. I can't even enjoy my home as he's prostrate on the couch & I have to retreat to bedroom. (I know I don't have to but am exhausted & hassle/awkward factor makes me lack the energy to do anything to confidently address it) Plus I know if I'm pushed or in an argument Ill reveal all the sordid fuckwittery adulterous behaviour I know about, that I'd prefer to keep hold of & only use as the last resort.

Oh Bitter. Thank you. That concluding fucking wanker comment made my night

He won't be able to keep the proceeds at the end if he hasn't contributed to the mortgage payments after you've split. Get a couple of valuations done now and get them in writing, and keep them safe. He's living in a fantasy world if he think you'll pay the mortgage on your own for the next fifteen years and he'll get an equal share of the equity. Don't fall for his threats as he's full of shit.

Fucking twatbag!

Just wanted to add some support. He sounds like a peach! Thank fuck you're getting rid. Legal advice pronto?

Nope. It's not possible. He's living in cloud cuckoo land.

Get yourself to a solicitor pronto.

Also I read Gordon and Slater Family Law Made Simple, which explains how settlements are calculated.

The fact that he'll have to rehouse himself is the reality of the divorce. The welfare of the children comes first. I take it he doesn't intend to take the LO with him?

You can negotiate anything you like, but if it is anything less than your legal entitlement, you need to decide whether to accept that. He doesn't get to decide that.

If there's 20k equity, 6k savings and 2 cars I 'get' (but don't agree with) that he would want 13k plus a car, which is his half, but then you've bought him out of the house so he has to take his name off it.

There have been test cases in court where one party whose name was on the mortgage has not payed it but was demanding equity as theirs, and as long as it is demonstrable that this is the case the Judge ruled that all the equity should go to the person who paid the mortgage. Maybe you could find some examples of this and send them to him?

And child maintenance for one DC is 15% of his take home pay. Non negotiable.

I'm a bit surprised by the amount of people saying that it is not possible. It is perfectly possible. If formalised by the court it would be called a Mesher Order.

The advantage to you is that you get to stay in the house for a few years to enable you to get on your feet or for tge children to stay in it until they finish school or go to university (terms and conditions subject to agreement between the parts or court decision).

In exchange he gets to keep the percentage of the value of the house and, if he diesn't have a huge salary, the impossibility to buy another house until you leave.

He can't force you to stay in that house if you don't want to but I doubt very much that he would be forced to pay the mortgage unless he has a massive salay to enable him to pay his accommodation costs and your mortgage without leaving him in poverty.

And it does matter how much you both earn. The ones that has the highest salary is the one who normally gets the smaller percentage if the assets.

With regards to maintenance, it doesn't matter what salary either of you have, who ever has the children for less time overnight is the one who pay maintenance.

I do think however that you need to do your homework, and get all the qualified advice you can, so you get to know what is a reasonable offer before accepting or rejecting it.

By the way, with such little equity, it would be a good idea not to get in a long winded court process (and associated level of debt), as it may be that there is no money left in the equity by the time you need to divide it.

Get a SHL and if needs be he can go to court to be told not to be a dick.

He's not going to get very far legally with these ideas so stuck to your guns. Don't do any deals with him on child maintenance - the CMS will tell him the minimum he must pay (check the online calculator as a guide.)

Since there is not a lot of equity in the house, seriously think of buying him out, even if you have to borrow the money in the short term. You will be encouraged by a solicitor to make a clean break and this will help you achieve it.

I agree with a PP that an arrangement such as you describe about the house is technically possible. However, it would be highly dependent on other factors and would have to be taken in context with the rest of the marital assets and financial settlement more generally. That's what solicitors are for - to give you advice specific to your circumstances and tell you whether something is reasonable or unreasonable.

My personal view is that, if someone is already playing silly buggers, you should do your level best to make it that you are not reliant on them and they have no stake in something as crucial as the roof over your head. If you went with his suggestion and he was still technically the co-owner of the property, he could threaten to force a sale as a way to exert control.

I'm a bit surprised by the amount of people saying that it is not possible. It is perfectly possible. If formalised by the court it would be called a Mesher Order.

^ this. It happens day in and day out up and down the country.

As pp has said, unless he is a high earner he wouldn't be expected to pay the mortgage aswell as for his own place.

If you can buy him out all the better .

Thanks guys. I had heard of the mesher order but my basic understanding was it was usually for those who stayed in the home who couldnt/didnt earn so didnt have the potential to break away & afford a house while child was still a child.
We are both in the £40-£60k bracket so could get modest mortgages (oop north) so that's why I thought the buying out the other was the way to go (which he'd originally emailed to say that's what the plan was - hence me thinking of giving him thousands to pay off related to equity)
Now its as though he knows I want him to go, using that as lever to demand continued interest in the house (& my fear he might think he could walk in any time) Plus as he is joint owner, can't demand he sells.

Of course he's using it as a lever. He doesn't want to go so he's setting up an unreasonable condition for leaving. Joint owners can legally force a sale incidentally. It's far better all round if it doesn't have to be forced but it's technically possible and not unheard of in the context of divorce.

Buying out the other is certainly an option or completely selling up and you both buy again.

If you end up going to court and go as far as a FH then if a judge orders it he will have no choice in the matter.

It would be much easier if you could just sell the house and split the proceeds. He has one car (you choose which one) and you split the furniture. You are then legally and financially separate.

He sounds vile; no wonder you want to get rid of him.

It does not sound like a Mesher order would be the most appropriate in your case where you are both able to get mortgages to house yourselves.

Mesher orders can leave women in a bad state financially in their 50's, so I'm not sure why they're mentioned on MN so frequently and they're not ordered as commonly as they were 20/30 years ago because of the problems they cause. For anyone thinking of trying to get one, or for anyone who advises posters here on "being allowed to stay in the marital home till the children are 18", I suggest you read this.

OP, you need to speak to a solicitor who can give you accurate advice that's most appropriate for your case.

Mesher orders can leave women in a bad state financially in their 50's, so I'm not sure why they're mentioned on MN so frequently and they're not ordered as commonly as they were 20/30 years ago because of the problems they cause.

For both parties. The person that leaves the house is often left on a mortgage and so can't buy elsewhere until the triggers are met.

You have a buyer, you. Push it through legal channels so he has no choice. Don't just hand over ££ you will be hard pressed proving it was any part of a deal.

He has already shown he is going to play rough.