What is an appropriate response to 'I love you'?

[Doobiedoobedoobie]

If you're not at the stage where you can say it back yet?

I get the feeling this is coming soon and I want to have my response ready! Have been dating someone for 4-5 months and the last few times we've met I've felt like he was about to say it and swiftly changed the conversation and mood but I can't do that forever .

I really like this guy, he's great but I'm definitely not ready for professing feelings of love just yet, for me it's way too early and tbh I'm quite a grower love wise anyway. It takes me a long time. In the past I've always just said it back anyway but being older (this is the first person I've dated since my 7 year marriage ended) I'm not really prepared to do that anymore.

IS there a way to respond to that without making the other person feel just Quite Shit?

Thanks for replies... Sorry I ran off thread for a while.

I'm going to practice MyDog's suggestion as I'm too socially awkward to pull off anything that vaguely resembles seriousness

He's a lovely guy, yes. I suppose I could see myself loving him but tbh it's a while off. It took me a few months to properly love my kids in the way I do now tbh. It just takes me a while

Could you just go for the kiss and avoid saying anything? I'd try to avoid the long explanation of your feelings and their possibly future developments at that moment in time. Have that conversation at a different time.

Think, the poor guy, full of nerves, sums up the courage to tell you he loves you and you reply, "Well, I am of course very fond of you and at some later stage these feelings might deepen blah blah blah." He wouldn't say it twice.

If I'd been seeing someone for five months and told them I loved them and they couldn't say it back I would be devastated tbh and wondering whether I should walk away now to avoid getting hurt further down the line.

After five/six months I'd imagine that you both have a good idea of how each other feels, so if someone feels confident to tell someone they love them there's a better than average chance they expect them to say it back. Not being able to would be like a kick in the teeth.

Op - if you don't think you can love this bloke perhaps it would be kinder to let him go now rather than hoping that love will grow?

First time dp said it to me I gave him the thumbs up

I was 15 though

I said "I'm a very lucky girl to be loved by someone as kind and wonderful as you" and then kissed him ........ a lot to keep him busy!
He's still around so I guess it worked / was ok.
Like you I really like him, feel very lucky to have met him but he's the first guy I've dated seriously since my divorce and I'm not sure how I feel yet.

I liked Dr Who's (DT) reply to Rose..."quite right too!"

I think getting in there before he even says anything is the kindest thing to do if you think you would like the relationship to continue (but if you don't know at this stage I think you should at least feel pretty certain you could love him or it might be unfair on him.) if you said something along the lines of 'I love being with you, I can see this relationship has a future and I'm enjoying a relaxed pace of slowly letting our feelings grow without feeling we have to rush into 'I love you', thank you for giving us time to do that.' The he gets the reassurance that you're headed in the right direction and the clue that you're not ready for that statement just yet.

"Thank you, you're amazing/wonderful/lovely"? (If he is any of these - sounds like you might think he is at least one?)

When DP first said it to me, I just looked stunned for a second then kissed him. And continued to kiss him until I thought he wouldn't expect me to actually reply.

i had someone say this when i didnt feel ready

in hindsight ' you'll get over it' probably set the tone for the rest of that doomed romance

'You know, I'm a very slow burner, but I'm getting very close to you, too'.

Garth from Wayne's World said it best: just say "Thank you!"