The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Getting Ready For The Golden Sights Of Autumn In Search Of Sobriety.

[Mouseface]

Hello everyone, I'm Mouse :) and this is the Bus I've been on a while now!

It's filled with a variety of drinkers. Those that do, those that don't, and those who are desperate to STOP but hide it, or embrace it and get the help they NEED.

'Help' in whatever form works for them, your friend or you. Be it AA, a Local Community Alcohol Counselling Group, your GP, your family/friends, this thread or even a combination of all of the above!

You have to want to stop drinking more than wanting to breathe.

I know that right now, that may sound like a ridiculous goal.

They got sober, One Day At A Time then came here during the process to chat about it, discuss their feelings, but more than anything else, their experiences HELPED OTHERS TO BELIEVE that they too could get dry.

They might not get dry and stay dry, sometimes they'll be lying about their consumption, fooling themselves as well as others

BUT when the posters do get dry for good, come back and post to help others with their tricks of the trade or just to say 'I did it!!' my heart jumps for joy because that person, poster, Brave Babe has gone through hell and back, lived to tell the tale and now wants to share that with the rest of the Bus to see if one simple trick or technique will put them on the track to recovery, sobriety, to the life that they want to lead :)

There's two saying that have appeared to stick with us -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

We all have our own reasons for starting to drink 'too much', we all have an excuse don't we.... we all have a "but....."

Well, as I say to Nemo (who you will get to hear about ) - goats butt!

And for those of you who want to know a bit more -

HERE IS THE MOST RECENT THREAD

AND THIS IS WHERE IT ALL BEGAN, OVER FOUR YEARS AGO!!!

See you soon x

Evening my lovelies, it's been a totally average day here, as average a Saturday as I could have wished for I'm relieved to say, let me explain:

Last night I had an epiphany.... I love and hate Friday nights in equal measures, I love them cos I can sit up myself drinking the house dry til stupid o'clock, I hate them cos I can sit up myself drinking the house dry til stupid o'clock.

At stupid o'clock every Friday night I go into dd2's room for a drunken cuddle, by this stage I'm loaded with white wine, melancholy and guilt, I cuddle my gorgeous toddler daughter and promise myself if the powers that be can just let me not have a terrible hangover I will never drink again. I know I'm going to wake up with a thumping headache, feeling sick and be moody and slovenly all day Sat and do my best to avoid any normal family Sat stuff cos I feel like shit. I'll stuff my face with utter shite all day, sabotage my diet and hate myself for failing myself and my girls AGAIN... So last night I headed in for my usual cuddle and ready to tell myself and my sleeping daughter the usual weekly lie as is the drill then I reminded myself I hadn't been drinking and relief actually flooded through my body. It was Friday night, I had had a lovely bath, was in fresh jim jams and had a fresh bed waiting and the knowledge that I would not be dying of a hangover was actually palpable, I could change the sickening pattern which was rotting my soul!!!!!!!!

So today was an average FAMILY day. Hung out the washing, washed the car, played with dd2, engaged with dd1, walked the dog, washed the dog and I do declare there was laughter in my house, on a Saturday!!!

I've never really thought of being average as being successful but today I was like "the normal mums" and it felt way better than average....

Just wanted to share xxx

Evening my lovelies, it's been a totally average day here, as average a Saturday as I could have wished for I'm relieved to say, let me explain:

Last night I had an epiphany.... I love and hate Friday nights in equal measures, I love them cos I can sit up myself drinking the house dry til stupid o'clock, I hate them cos I can sit up myself drinking the house dry til stupid o'clock.

At stupid o'clock every Friday night I go into dd2's room for a drunken cuddle, by this stage I'm loaded with white wine, melancholy and guilt, I cuddle my gorgeous toddler daughter and promise myself if the powers that be can just let me not have a terrible hangover I will never drink again. I know I'm going to wake up with a thumping headache, feeling sick and be moody and slovenly all day Sat and do my best to avoid any normal family Sat stuff cos I feel like shit. I'll stuff my face with utter shite all day, sabotage my diet and hate myself for failing myself and my girls AGAIN... So last night I headed in for my usual cuddle and ready to tell myself and my sleeping daughter the usual weekly lie as is the drill then I reminded myself I hadn't been drinking and relief actually flooded through my body. It was Friday night, I had had a lovely bath, was in fresh jim jams and had a fresh bed waiting and the knowledge that I would not be dying of a hangover was actually palpable, I could change the sickening pattern which was rotting my soul!!!!!!!!

So today was an average FAMILY day. Hung out the washing, washed the car, played with dd2, engaged with dd1, walked the dog, washed the dog and I do declare there was laughter in my house, on a Saturday!!!

I've never really thought of being average as being successful but today I was like "the normal mums" and it felt way better than average....

Just wanted to share xxx

Sorry wry x posted, I bet you'd put Cybil Shepherd in the shade, swishy and fabulous so ye are. I wish better things for you every single day as I did for ma and suddenly the Monday night thing popped up (pardon the pun) so now I'm devoting my powers to your happiness, can you feel it???????

alias you'll figure it out with dh, you concentrate on your own inner happiness and strength just as ma said and it the right thing for you will become clearer, that's what I'm doing as I too have doubts about my future with dh but I know I'm not in the right headspace to make any major decisions, maybe it's the same for you, what's meant for you will not go by you, this is my hope for all us lost souls on here, big squishy hug my friend xxx

joey your post made me smile, I hope you are okay my quine. I count myself lucky really, it's just me and Little, there are no children to put first. Just my emotions. Such a selfless thing you and ma are doing, trying to keep things on an even keel. I hope you find what you seek

This is where I follow the crabby rules, distant and not phoning him first. I cried for a number of reasons, frustration, sadness but mainly because he wasted my time off again. My time off is so precious, I like to make the most of it. I hate mucking pals about with last minute plans, it's not fair as most of them have families now.

But I phoned my horsey pal, (who is forgiving and has always said just to call when I have an hour or two free) and we are going riding tomorrow. Little can pretend she's the grand rat hunter in the stables but fear she will mostly be eating and rolling in any horse shit she comes across. Smile firmly back on!

Time for me epilator. I might leave the tache though. Don't think mata Hari had a tache, but it would give me a certain je ne sais quoi...

baby so good she posted twice!!!!!!!!!!!!! Smiling through tears for you, arise Lady Normal Mam - pleased you shared, pleased you had a fab family day and pleased Awd Saggy got her arse kicked! xx

I feels it baby I feels it.... xx

Ahh yea lovely that post baby - I've had a better than average day because the ceasefire between me and H lasted, and unexpectedly we got a break from dd2 for a few hours to go to the nations favourite store to have tea and cake and browse and buy a toddler bed without having to chase her all over the store[brew
But at 9.30 I could not resist the bottle of red, and I justified it by saying it won't kill me, its ok and normal to drink and if I can stick to 2 bottles a week and only weekend drinking then it's fine???? Is that ok or will I always crave more and so have to try to stop completely - how do I really know if I have a problem, what if I'm just anticipating a future problem?

Good morning lovely Babes

This one's for you Wry hope the link works, first time I've done linking

simply love this song.

Day 2 fucked it on Friday

Couldn't resist this one. I dedicate this to all you Brave Babes on this bus. You are all amazing

Sorry you may have to skip an Ad

Enjoy Mick Jagger's bottom Think he may have been on the wacky baccy

"Is that a fake moustache or did you forget to wax?" Made me spit coffee over the bed! Must get in about myself with the tweezers before my date business dinner on Monday. Can't have distracted chap being distracted for all the wrong reasons.
baby that was a great post. Well done you. I am looking out of the window at the gorgeous autumn day....with a hangover. Grrrr. Must be AF today.
wry enjoy the riding (horse) and don't think about that other horses arse!!!

Morning! Been wandering the country looking for Gerald and finally flagged you down . Apologies for long absence, had secondment away at work beginning of the month (it was fabulous!!!) and then catching up back here.

Missed you all loads. Been reading back and revelling in hilarious phrases such as 'I can't drink tonight because I have to give the dog a haircut' from Joey Also empathising with so many of your posts

Still the same here - stroppy but wonderful teenage / tweenage ds and dd, wankbadger husband, stressful work, threat of redundancy and feeling fat and frumpy. Going to doctors next week to have blood tests - periods awol after stopping pill so want to test for menopause (eeek!!!! makes me feel so ancient ) but she is also doing them for general health - cholesterol, thyroid etc - and am hoping liver not included in that

Not drinking much (a few on last night of secondment, a couple of nights of wine since) but really want to. Or no, don't want to drink, as such, just want a break from my stresses and ridiculously think feeling sick and paranoid will help.

Good to be back here with you all. Too many to namecheck in full but hello to any newbies I've not met yet, and hugs to Mouse - hope Nemo's tests are OK - and solidarity with Ma and Joey and anyone else who has wankbadger husbands. I know that regret at not leaving in previous flashpoints in my marriage. Have to stop myself thinking what my life could have been like now if I'd left 7 years ago. The scary thing atm is seeing myself 7 years on wondering why I didn't leave today. Fear of upheaval and a dislike of paperwork seems a bit lame, but as we all know, it is way scarier than that, especially when kids are involved.

Wry - missed your humour so much, hope you are treating yourself today after wankbadger let you down last night. He is letting himself down, missing out on you and your swishy hair.

Got to get on now - lots of gardening / chores to do, but wankbadger going out today and so delighted not to have his grumpy, sweary presence in the house that I have offered to drive him there (just to make sure he pisses off!)

Lovely autumnal blackberry and apple crumble on dashboard for you ladies to make amends for my staying away. I can't eat it, on Slimming World. Think being thinner might stave off my mid-life crisis. Know it won't really.

Big love to you all xxxxx

Good afternoon travellers!

What a corker of a morning I've had, did me the world of good! Fresh air, a thoroughly nice gentleman between me thighs and pain au chocolat and good, stand the spoon in coffee on our return.

Little is clarted in green, so tomato sauce massage and bath for her this afternoon. Smells like fox crap. The monkey.

spanna thank you, why have I never heard of her? Such a beautiful voice and definitely a Very Useful song. I downloaded her album immediately after hearing it, bless your heart for that, and btw, Day 2 is Day 2. One day past the first day, a forward thinking day, so all good there my darling! xx

MrsM I don't know the answer to that one my lovely. I am, as you know, a weekend and before the day off, binge and blot drinker. Can't guarantee sticking to a set amount, and found that when I had a bad day it was the first thing I thought about doing. When I joined this lovely bus, I had reached a point where I feared returning to my old ways. Where I put myself at risk in more ways than one. I was standing at the bus stop and very nearly stepped out, the fear and feelings of failure overwhelmed me. The short answer? If you need it, then you may have a problem. I am no expert though, haven't been to a formal meeting group or anything, so maybe someone wiser can be more helpful. xx

ma hope you are now hair-free where it matters....and that the thistledness is blooming! I have been thinking very hard about what feels so erotic about public frissons. For me, just feeling that big strong hand in the small of your back as they guide you...

I'm that bubbled up with excitement for you! Not long now! Have you pressed your outfit.. polished your shoes... picked a suitable pair of knickers chosen your perfume and lipstick... xx

Hooooooooooooooooooooopppppppppppppe!!!!!! So chuffed to see you!!!! Glad you enjoyed your secondment, you sound positively buoyant! And glad you are waving WB off for a bit, who needs grumpy fuckwittery to bring you down when you're on a high? (((((((bosies)))))))))) have a listen to spanna's songs, it'll set you up, did me anyway! xxx

Phrase and crabby, hope you are having a fine weekend, on standby for now lovelies, on standby.. xx

This afternoon I shall be mostly watching Columbo while ironing, then watching a webinar or two to bump up my CPD. I bet the jet setters of the world are green with envy....

Best crack on, catch you all later, xx

ma I had a distracted chap once about... oh 7 years ago. It was fantastic and disastrous at the same time. Joy and tears. Lust and shame. I know we're all urging you to go for it, but if it turns sour it can do your head in. (I'm not talking about your family, I mean it could end up hurting YOU)

On the other hand, the sheer thrill of it, the meeting of eyes across a room, the anticipation... (borrows wrys moustache to go and do a bit of Facebook stalking)

Heaven, I'm eating Salted Caramel Ice cream, as recommended by many of you, it is delicious, what a treat. This will keep that witch at bay, usually have chocolate or mascapone & pear which is yummy too

Hope good to see you back lovely and really glad to hear you sounding so up beat I hope you managed to get done what you needed to do or maybe had a relax instead

Beaches I hope the 'sprucing' went well. Good to hear you've got a tenant for the winter months Brrrrrrr Just come back from walking the dog and I can feel that autumn chill in the air, I'll need to get me cardies out soon will avoid my central heating for as long as possible, as I am a tight cow

Ma hope your plucking went well, outfit at the ready, is it a 'Do' straight from work? I've got butterflies for you in anticipation there is nothing like a mutual attraction, with those 'knowing' looks and those tingly feelings. Have a fab time and enjoy yourself xx

Wry glad the ride went well and was satisfactory I can smell Little from here pooooooo eeeeeeee ! Missed Columbo today, got into Nanny McFee, love that film

Mouse lovely I hope you are feeling better. I just wanted to wish Nemo luck at the hospital tomorrow, I hope everything goes as it should

Everything blew up in our home earlier, alot of cross words between us all, loads of tears and anger (not good) was so temped to just go and get a bottle in but I resisted and the air seems clearer and everything is calm, such a relief I do seriously forget who the children are in my home sometimes, why is it that I still need to have the last word at age 47

Hi all. THanks for the encouragement to be a trollop. I do hope he isn't one of your do/dhs!! Kidding. Yes its a lovely frisson and has given me a fabby boost but we know where it stops, and it does. Sadly. But I will still enjoy seeing him tomorrow and I do seem to have accidentally ironed a shortish skirt and nice smart shirt with buttons which I willimaginehimundoing keep firmly fastened!
hope good to see you!!

Evening all. Lawks, the thread's gone a bit blue since I was last here

The hospital have written to me with a date for my early scan: it's going to be in the week beginning the 13th Oct. I veer between being convinced this one's different and fearing it won't be.

mrs, re your earlier question about 'how do I really know': I think your name says it all . I guess you've just got to try it and see. As long as you stay aware and honest, whatever happens can only be useful.

If you find it is not possible for you to drink in a controlled way, then maybe you will choose to go dry.

In a way the drink's a red herring: you spend so long looking at it and thinking about it and planning how much is OK and when you can have it that you miss the magical moment, the one five minutes or an hour or a day or a week ahead of when you picked up the drink: when the clock ticked round to a certain time, or you found yourself in a certain room, or you worked late, or you had a row with your mum/husband/boss. For me, it's recognising those moments and diverting that energy that's helped me win battles.

So I think a bit of reconnaissance can only be a good thing. You can't know at the very beginning what the solution's going to be for you. It's a process of trial and error!

Phrase really good news that your scan is soon Hope you're not getting morning sickness and not feeling too tired. Keep on keeping on

hope my lovely friend, so thrilled to have you back, you sure we're missed. I'm glad life sounds pretty good but sad you are not In a happy marriage, you ma joey and wry all come across as warm, kind and wonderful people, I wish you all had men that appreciated your worth, on here you are all as precious as gold.xxx

ma I know as joey said this could be dangerous territory but your marriage is dead, your so funny and passionate helping and connecting with all of us, surely you deserve some fun, to feel excitement and possibility!!! I think it's our human right to be basically happy, not all the time but a basic contentment that sees us through the hard stuff. Therefore you are breaching your own human rights by not enjoying what fate has thrown you and I will take you to the court of human rights and have you punished if them buttons don't pop..... I too feel butterflies for you, your living out all our little fantasies for us so it's only right you take one for the team!!! Xxx

wry I'm glad you finally found a partner that was hung like a horse, oh that's right it was a horse. Between the horse and that prat who doesn't deserve you, he's got naaaaeeeee chance.... Xxx

Enjoy that ice cream spanna glad it's all working out on the house front, I know how stressed you were not so long ago so your on the up and up for sure.xx

phase I say a wee mental wish to the sky for you every day that everything will be ok and as I seem to have witch like hair and qualities, I reckon your gonna be fine this timexxx

mouse hope tomorrow goes well and I admire you tremendously for dealing with so much pain, mentally and physically with such good grace, you inspire us everyday.

Well made it through week 1, this week my complete focus is on my diet which has been a shambles. I'm not vain but my weight is really getting me down, nothing fits me properly and last time I quit drinking for 6 weeks I bought loads of new clothes with the wine money on the premise I would continue to lose weight and they just don't sit right, dd2 asked me if I had a baby in my tummy yesterday, out of the mouth of babes... I know it's petty compared to what you brave babes are enduring but years of steroids have weakened my bones so I really need to be as fit and healthy as possible and I just can't get into it. Foods been the new wine, well as of tomorrow exercise is the new food that was the wine!!

Confused??? So am I xxx

Thank you baby for that.
I am loving that all the Babes are behind d this in that you understand. I am not advocating cheating and betrayal but I can't deny just having someone notice me is lovely! I feel alive for the first time in many years.
Looking forward to tomorrow......

Baby you are so lovely Well done on Week 1 Babe

spanna right back atcha lovely lady xxx

spanna right back atcha lovely lady xxx

I am sitting in a wee fug of happiness. Love this bus!

Phrase I think we are all looking forward to your scan sweetheart, xx

baby Week one! Feckin fabulous! Re exercise is the new food, riding was going to be my new food, but it appears I am having my cake and eating it.... I too am steroid plumped, and try to be healthy but ach.... You know folk are supposed to look like their dogs? I am definitely a Labrador and no mistake. Brown hair, brown eyes, food driven, greedy, don't recognise I'm full unless my back teeth are floating..

Just watching the Harvey and Rabbit Friend advert for thinkbox.

That's us, that is. Each and every one of us.

Friends.

Alalapupulala

Lol wry .am glued to Downton Abbey. I want that life!

Ah but ma, we would have had to strap our bosoms down with industrial strength tape.

Gorgeous frocks but not designed for the more generous of chest.

Like Marks and Spencer's food hall at ten to nine on a sunny barbeque day. A bap free zone.