I am disappointed and hurt (and angry) re ds's first day at school

[Butterflytree]

Today ds (pfb) started YR. I woke up feeling in a great mood, feeling like this is special day for us all as a family, not just ds. H was grumpy and tired from the onset so our moods didn't quite match and as a reaction I started getting a bit irritated as we were all getting ready to drop ds at school. Anyway fast forward to pick up and h did something really irritating and a bit weird (involved him making me and ds wait around at the school rather than focusing on ds and his special moment. This resulted in a major blow up argument and I totally lost my temper with h. Although I 'just' hissed at him in anger ds overheard some of this . I felt so low for the rest of the afternoon and didn't feel able to play with ds or be positive and involved with him. . Anyway h then said to me "come on, why don't you play with ds to which I just flipped. We then had quite strong words which ds overheard again. So he had a wee accident, for whic I blame us, his parents the first in probably a year. I feel so absolutely shit and don't know where I stand. I am so fed up of h and don't know what to do. He has tried apologizing but I just can't stand him right now. I feel sick.
[i understand that there are much more serious issues being discussed on this forum and that this is probably a ridiculously minor thing) I should probably just get a grip.

OP isnt giving too much information so its coming across as a bit of an over-reaction, however, this may not be the case, depending on the situation.

Personally i think the first day of school is a big deal, its a milestone, but some men (and women) wouldnt consider this as a big deal, everyone is different and thats ok.

I wouldnt worry about the wee accident, most children do it and as PP have said, it may have been due to tiredness. Dont let this eat you up.

On a side note, if there are MH issues here, the last thing OP needs is a flaming. Some sensitivity would be more beneficial.

It really would be a fecking miracle if the OP came back and explained the incident and back story after the battering she's just had on here with very little information to hang the criticism on.

Agree KITTY, she received very cold and negative response in here and probably wont come back

Some of the replies were harsh, particularly to a first-time poster.

yes . What seems like irritating incident to her might be another in an endless list of twattery.

butterfly I agree with the poster who said to celebrate his first week. Hope it goes smoothly from now on .

Ach aye, look at it this way: it can only get better.

Hope you had a nice afternoon with your wee big school boy

Nasty thread! OP . It's stressful when they start school (PFB or not). First day back is always horrible IMO. Don't worry - it's just one day and he will be fine.

I hope the OP does come back.

For what it's worth I do sympathise with that feeling of sadness and frustration when you're feeling cheerful and the person you most want to share that with is grumpy and fed up. It brings your mood down with a bit of a bump.

It's especially hard if you're feeling depressed (the hopelessness, guilt and lack of motivation are suggestive of that if it's an ongoing thing). The drop then from thinking you're doing ok and feeling cheery is even harsher if it's sending you right back down to the darkness.

Maybe think about seeing the GP for a chat if you think the low mood is a pattern and try to speak to your DH. Apologise for over reacting and try and explain why it was so important to you and how you felt without blaming him.

Hope you're ok.

My memories of my first day at school are hazy at best.

I'm not saying it isn't an important day, it is. But in many cases it's more of an emotive day for the parents rather than the children. Your son's first day wasn't 'ruined', OP. He will hardly remember it in a few months.

I agree that posters have been very harsh.

Tell us what else has been going on?

I agree with mongoose regarding the depression. When I am depressed, it tends to come out as intense irritability, usually towards dh as he is the closest to me - even when he's not doing anything particularly wrong. Also, the ability to snap over small things, and to get overwhelmed by mistakes I have made.

I can relate to how this situation happened, but OP, I think you are depressed and need to sort it out quickly, before it affects your marriage and your ds too much. Please, please go to GP.

In terms of ds wetting himself, this is quite probably due to:
a. exhaustion
b. a stressful first day at school
rather than the argument. I think it's unkind of posters who said it was purely because of the argument, as if they know this. I know you blamed yourself, but it doesn't mean that it's true.

I really hope you're still reading OP and can get some help and support in real life.

A lot of nasty comments on here which is pretty shit since the Op came advising she felt bad already FFS.

OP I'm sorry your so upset regardless of the backstory. There can be a lot of emotion and build up around special occasions. Put the focus back on your little guy and make tomorrow a great send off.

flange that is one of the nastiest, most spiteful posts I've read on MN. To note that the OP is probably depressed and berate her as you have done is cruel.

I doubt the OP will come back given the nastiness here, but I would bet there is a huge back story here.