Sex issues- some perspective appreciated

[XrayPerspex]

Hi all

My girlfriend no longer seems to want to have sex. After trawling through some posts, I thought I should answer some commonly asked questions first. Excuse the bullet point format-

We live together

Been together 3.5 years, lived together 18 months

Neither of us have changed body shape recently

No kids

The issue has been on and off for about 6-8 months maybe?

We love each other. That's not in question.

We both work very hard/long hours in demanding jobs - she is determined to make her job a success. It seems to take most of her energy. Everything she does she tries to make a success of, except, it seems this aspect of our relationship.

She has rarely (never?) made the first move

We have enjoyed a better sex life in the past

We both like a drink. She drinks more than me, and probably, I suspect, more than she should. I probably do a about 15 units a week mostly at the weekend- (she is much smaller than me)

We share the workload around the house equally


I am, as time goes on, not making an effort as it seems to lead to more rejection. The feelings of rejection I have had have really mounted up on me, leaving me quite upset and I am considering to not ever make a move again in order to avoid this. Clearly this will only make the problem worse... or will it? I don't want to end the relationship because of this.

Anyway, some perspective will be gratefully received. Am happy to answer any questions to clarify/elucidate. Is sex therapy a way forward (has anyone experienced this?), and if so, how do I broach the subject easily?

[Abilly72]

Who can be right about this sort of thing-what I do know is that 'it is all right to cuddle' is the kiss of death-it sounds as if both are rally screwed up about this sex should never be this problem between loving couples-never

[XrayPerspex]

ah, most folks go through little patches of trouble, I'm sure. It's only the kiss of death if you allow it. I don't give up so easily.