I know my 22 year old son has to go, but how do I do it.
He is our much wanted and dearly loved first baby, excellent baby, toddler, became older brother to our second son.
Perfect family it would seem.
He entered teenage years and he has ripped our family to pieces, his behaviour was out of control. Both my husband and I ended up,on anti depressants, my husband suffered most losing around two stone in weight.
Ultimately, it culminated in his arrest and prosecution for affray at age 17. He then dropped the 'no good' friends and settled a little.
However, he hates us, me in particular, hates me, I sadly don't think this will ever change.
He does nothing in the house, his room is totally VILE, like a tramps room, bare mattress, rubbish everywhere. He just won't do a thing in the house and everything leads to a full scale row.
He works full time, but that's the only thing he does other than drink.
Let me give you an example of yesterday.
Myself and OH, went out early, around 7.30am. We had a.lovely day out, came home about 5.30ish. It was apparent that he had not been up. I felt this was ridiculous, he had not been up, eaten, done his washing, nothing.
Asked him why had he not been up and was met with a tirade of abuse, and screaming 'leave me alone' repeatedly and loudly and aggressively.
Shouting, swearing, slamming doors, you name it.
The previous day, he had been telling me he had done the ice bucket challenge, we 'chatted' about it, asked where had he done, who had nominated him. I also asked who he had nominated, he said X, Y and SAm. I innocently asked was Sam a boy or a girl, he during the argument said you just want to poke your nose into my business, you even wanted to know that. We barely speak, I was trying to make conversation, it's tough doing that when someone hates you.
Last night was the last straw, I thought him and his father would end up physically fighting, he was totally beyond unreasonable.
The next thing is there is water coming through our ceiling, OH goes running upstairs, to find the toilet full to the brim with toilet roll and water spilling over the top. He's done this before, used that much toilet roll to wipe and caused this issue, but does it again. Cue him saying it was like that already, it wasn't OH had used it previously and it was totally fine. Another screaming match of leave me alone, I hate you blah blah.
Next, youngest son comes home from work, we had dinner (didn't make eldest son any), we then went to sit in the lounge. youngest sits on one settee, eldest obviously drunk the night before had peed on it, DISGUSTING! Oh course total denial again, but OH had come down to make coffee that morning and found him on the settee and told him to go to bed, It would not have been anyone else.
He told us he won't be happy until we are both dead.
Refuses to leave the house and stay else where, we have to get him out he is starting to cause problems between everyone,
He is almost unwell with his laziness, won't get up for work unless i call him, won't 'cook' anything would live on crisps. Would dream of making a sandwich, would only put single stuff in the oven, life packet of scampi, nothing to go with it, just that.
And without exaggeration he must have lost 50 keys to our home, always have to nag him to get another cut, never ever does it without yet another fight.
I won't be getting him up anymore, told him that, he will lose his job.
Why is he like this? We gave so much to him, it's so sad.
We have tried everything, being nice, being hard, ignoring, excluding, welcoming and nothing works.
He makes out home totally hateful.
Other DS is great, normal relationships, will sometimes push the boundaries with mess etc. but a word or a text to say I just came in to find you had beans on toast, with cheese as it's everywhere, will get sorry text and will clear up properly when back. Will have a good old chat and laugh, wind his dad up over football etc all totally normal.
How do we make him go, he needs to leave us, he is abusing us.
Sorry long post but really we are desperate. The above is just a snapshot.