Is it wrong to PM Ex partners f**kbook friends, about his 'penchant' for prostitutes?

[Lacoba66]

If any of you search my previous thread, then 'yes' I have been a bit of a gullible fool . If you're there Anyfucker- I should have listened....

Anyways, having received a voicemail msg (accidentally?) that was a recording of him on a 'visit' to a "deep tissue massage treatment" (a prostitute) am I being churlish, by wanting to let as many of his female friends know his true character? I know that I must move forward, but is it wrong to want to demean him, as I feel he has done to me?

By the way, I have only done this every time that he attempts contact, and have warned him of that.

I must sound mad...

This will backfire. Everyone will think why is she sending this to me? She must be a nutter.

You won't be demeaning him, you'll be demeaning yourself.

Don't do it.

How do you think it will help?

I have dark fantasies like that about my ex and the things I could tell about him on Facebook. But I wouldn't do it, it would be awful and humiliating for everyone including me, so NO!

Yep. Leave it be.

I wouldn't do that for reasons listed.

If anybody asks you directly why you split up, no shame in saying 'because of his fondness for prostitutes' but don't tell anybody that doesn't ask.

Don't do it.

Walk away with your head held high and your pride in tact. DO NOT GIVE THAT WASTE OF SPACE ANYTHING TO THROW BACK AT YOU.

Go no contact with him and watch that git come crawling back, and he will because you've taken him back once already - THEN kick him where it hurts and tell him where to go. This will give you a sense of satisfaction a billion times better than messaging his farcebook mates.

Just wait, ignore, ignore, ignore and you time will come, one way or another you will get your own back.

A big thank you to all that have replied! Especially 'smilesandpiles' as that's kind of what I wanted/ needed to hear.

I will keep ( get back) my pride again

I'd do it because I've spent a lifetime being 'the bigger person' and I've concluded that it's not always the best policy. If he's screwing any of these female friends he's an STD risk for a start. Best way to get the word around is to select one person who likes a bit of gossip and share the information with them in the very strictest confidence ...

FFS keep your dignity and self respect. You know. That's all you need. Don't cheapen yourself and, even though you've done nothing wrong, make yourself into a source of pity or amusement. This isn't Eastenders, and you're not a teenager. Keep some dignity. Though if not, Jeremy Kyle shouts....

Haha Cogito....yes choose very carefully which 'terribly discrete' friend you tell....and watch the story spread like wildfire

Don't. You will look like the bitter and twisted ex who couldn't handle him dumping you as whatever the truth of your breakup, he will paint it all as your fault and his friends will likely want to side with him.

Cog that is pure evil genius. Mwahaha. Fuck, why didn't I think of that?

No, don't.

He will probably just paint you to be a liar to them anyway.

Just be glad your out of it.

However if you can't resist, telling one person, in confidence of course, that you know has a big gob is the best way to do it.

If I received something like that I wild assume you were a nutter.

Deep tissue massage is just that. It's not sex.

Some men are obsessed with prostitutes. Some women are obsessed with men who are obsessed with prostitutes. What's that about ?

If you care what these fb people think of you, then don't do it.

You don't do it on FB.... that's a 'sledgehammer to crack a nut' approach and you can end up looking like a vengeful fury. If you really want to expose hypocrisy it takes a bit of cunning.

I have deep tissue massages. They aren't sex

Thanks folks for all of your replies ( although not sure about Lauranorder?).

For what it's worth, I am not friends with any of these people and couldn't give a damn what they think of me!

I don't doubt that he would obviously not admit it, but portray me as a nutter, but if I thought it would sow one seed of doubt with even one of them, then I would feel it was worth it.

Maybe the old adage of "what goes round, comes round" should be sufficient though....

Cogito, you have surprised me .

For those that keep focusing on the 'deep tissue massage' doesn't mean sex- yes, I know that.

1. In our area the going rates range from £35-£60 maximum for an hour.

The recording of the 'event' that I was subjected too, clearly wasn't your 'normal' masseuse. The price quoted was £110.00 for the hour.

1. He eventually admitted that it was a prostitute.

I am a surprising and delightful person :) I also do not believe in natural justice or 'Karma' or any other such bollocks. IME it can be very unsatisfactory and lonely being that bigger person on the moral high ground. Sometimes a little artful & targeted truth-telling is good for your self-respect.

I wouldn't do it via Facebook but if anyone asked why you had split I'd be honest.

A friend of my mother's took Cogito's approach. She maintained completely dignified (and is now happily remarried), whereas he is now universally known as "Steve the one who went round shagging prostitutes!".

Oh dear god, the times I've wanted to just go on FB and out stbx for the miserable abusive cheating wanker that he is. But I didn't. STILL would love to do it. But I won't. Although I admit to having taken a page from Cogito's book and discussing it "in confidence" with a few key people.

I blocked him on FB not only because he was using my FB to track what I was doing, but because it was FAR FAR too tempting to post on his page exactly what he'd been up to. Taking the high road and being the adult sometimes is no fun at all.