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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He's just not that into me is he?

37 replies

MillyStar · 26/08/2014 16:05

Met someone from pof for an hour on Sunday, we'd been messaging and whatsapping for a few weeks.

I Whatsapped him soon after getting home cos really liked him and he replied with kisses etc then he initiated contact again later that night.

Chatted 2/3 times yesterday but I initiated it every time and he have much shorter answers than before we met up, no mention of meeting up again etc.

Decided not to text again last night and I've not heard a peep! He's just not that into me is he? Or is he playing it cool? I think he's just too polite to tell me he's not interested! Ahhhhh I hate this dating think I'm better on my own

OP posts:
Original poster
MillyStar · 26/08/2014 16:08

Sorry should have said he owns a shop and has messaged all through the day before so it's not work why he can't message

Not sure if I'm being a psycho or not

OP posts:
CalamityKate1 · 26/08/2014 16:10

He's not playing it cool. He's JNTIY.

Move on.

Original poster
MillyStar · 26/08/2014 16:12

Thank you I just needed someone else to say it!

I shall delete his number

OP posts:
rockup · 26/08/2014 16:14

how did it go when you met with him?

yoyo27 · 26/08/2014 16:14

Don't delete it, just don't text him first. Give him so space. He may genuinely be snowed under!

CatKisser · 26/08/2014 16:14

I'd assume the same, I'm afraid.
It's annoying because most normal people would appreciate a message saying it was lovely to meet you but don't think we're right for each other, etc. etc rather than being kept hanging around!

rockup · 26/08/2014 16:15

agreed..some peeps are so very rude!

lanbro · 26/08/2014 16:16

Loved that film, wish I'd seen it 25 years ago, would've saved me making a tit of myself many a time!

Leave it, delete number, move on!

lanbro · 26/08/2014 16:17

Shouldve said 15, not 25, I wasn't dating at 8!

Original poster
MillyStar · 26/08/2014 16:19

It went really well, felt like we'd known each other for ages, we live a mile from each other and turns out we've been looking at the same houses for rent so we had a good laugh!

I dunno if he's just being really nice and replying or of he's cool as a cucumber

I'm a sensible level headed mother who likes being alone but I still turn into a 14 year old when there's a man I like in the frame, drives mad!!

Might delete his number anyway so I don't text first and if I do it's a bonus

OP posts:
Original poster
MillyStar · 26/08/2014 16:21

Obviously can't spell today either!

OP posts:
rockup · 26/08/2014 16:22

he is most likely to remain interested f you do not tesxt him..thats just how it works girl ;)

Waltermittythesequel · 26/08/2014 16:24

I would delete his number so there's no wine fuelled texts in your future.

If he likes you, he'll text you, and then you'll have his number back!

Stupidhead · 26/08/2014 16:24

Delete his number but remember the last 3 digits. That means you can't text him first but will know if it's him or not when/if he does. I've been there and it's embarrassing having to text 'sorry, who are you again?' Wink

rockup · 26/08/2014 16:26

stupid, not embarrasing. Actually it probably raises his estimation of you like you have so many options, you cant remember them all..

PricillaQueenOfTheDessert · 26/08/2014 16:33

I think you might be coming on a bit strong, 4 messages after only meeting for an hour? Back off a bit then hopefully he'll start chasing after you.

rockup · 26/08/2014 16:41

I wonder, how easy is it to identify the guys who are only doing online dating as a source of casual sex?

Obv the really sleazy ones will be easy to pick out but I imagine there must be quite a few dodgy characters who are better as masking their intentions.

GilbertBlytheWouldGetIt · 26/08/2014 16:48

Meets you for an hour then cools off noticeably? He's not that into you.

Don't bother backing off to see if he comes chasing. If he comes back after a week or so, he'll have been dating around and not met anyone else he likes better, so will try again with you.

SolidGoldBrass · 26/08/2014 17:07

He doesn't fancy you enough to have sex with, so he's moved on.
This doesn't mean that you are a munter or anything - just that you are not his type for some reason. It was only one date. Put him out of your mind.

Honestly, the thing is with OD is that plenty of people who come across as fun via messages or over the phone, and have nice photos, just don't 'do it' for you when you meet face to face. It might actually be something as basic as a person's smell not being right (not that a person stinks, but at pheremone level. THough someone who doesn't wash enough is a turn off for all but a specific category of pervert...)

CatKisser · 26/08/2014 17:11

This doesn't mean that you are a munter or anything
HAAA! How reassuring for the OP! What a way you have with words, SGB... Grin

DontstepontheMomeRaths · 26/08/2014 17:23

Have you read The Rules? I don't follow them to the letter but they work and rule out those who are a waste of your time. Worth a read imo.
Cut your losses. Next.

Original poster
MillyStar · 26/08/2014 17:25

Thanks ladies, bloody love this website

OP posts:
Onesleeptillwembley · 26/08/2014 17:26

You seem to be messaging him a lot. Even, as you said, during work time. Frankly that'd make me wary. Just cool it and wait. If he hits in touch then great, but stop chasing so hard. If not, then put it down to experience and move on.

Castlemilk · 26/08/2014 17:30

Yes OP. Take heart, for verily you may not be a munter Grin

Delete his number but write down the last three digits so if you do have a text you'll know it's him, and can reply appropriately.

WildBillfemale · 26/08/2014 18:31

You've contacted him a lot - delete his number - he knows yours if he wants to get in touch.......