He's just not that into me is he?

[MillyStar]

Met someone from pof for an hour on Sunday, we'd been messaging and whatsapping for a few weeks.

I Whatsapped him soon after getting home cos really liked him and he replied with kisses etc then he initiated contact again later that night.

Chatted 2/3 times yesterday but I initiated it every time and he have much shorter answers than before we met up, no mention of meeting up again etc.

Decided not to text again last night and I've not heard a peep! He's just not that into me is he? Or is he playing it cool? I think he's just too polite to tell me he's not interested! Ahhhhh I hate this dating think I'm better on my own

I fear overkill on your part, men like to chase.

Delete and move on. You'll meet someone who is into you.

Next !

What is it about men that makes them so dreadfully terrified of a woman gaspshowing her interest in him? All this stuff about how a few texts to someone who, until they actually met in the flesh, was happy to engage in conversation, makes them run away, is misogynistic bullshit of the first degree. Why is a woman's romantic or sexual interest to be feared or ridiculed? He didn't disappear because she dared text him. He disappeared because he decided he wasn't interested and didn't have the guts to tell her. Ergo he was a cock. But fuck that about how a woman dare not communicate her interest. It's sexist bollox and makes me want to chew nails.

We'd been chatting all day quite a few days with sort of an hour inbetween replies when we were at work etc. So it was just another day of that but I feel that I made more of the effort and his replies were shorter, we'd followed that pattern all weekend before I met him I didn't just suddenly bombarding him!

I think he's probably just too nice to tell me he's not interested in me in that way, or I could be being a paranoid needy freak, as I said I get a bit weird and wobbly kneen when men are involved that's why I've stayed on my own for two years before letting myself like someone!

I've deleted his num but written the last three digits down incase he gets in touch, if anything I think it's shown me that I'm not cut out for dating just yet

I think familiarity can breed contempt and some men enjoy the chase. I seem to maintain more interest when I'm busy, have lots of interests and don't reply immediately to them or text them first. But that sounds exactly like what thalassa dislikes the most. It would be nice not to play games dating wouldn't it? Maybe if you meet the right one you don't have to?

He could be typical of other men I've met whilst OD who date several at once and then eventually decide to settle on one of them. Have you been on the dating thread? That can be a great place to share dating disasters.

Why can't they not be honest rather than go silent. Cowards

I had this with a couple of guys I met, waiting for replies and when they did finally text they seemed keen enough, but it all felt a bit imbalanced. It makes you feel at such a disadvantage doesn't it.

When I met dp (POF) we both said we weren't into game playing, that if we wanted to text each other we would, no messing about with waiting 3days etc.

I messaged him the morning after and he invited me out for a coffee that lunchtime. It wasn't all plain sailing, but I vowed to myself that I wouldn't try to be something I'm not, and if I like someone, I want to see them. Luckily I met someone who is the same. If my keenness had scared him off he wouldn't be the man for me.

Penelope That sounds balanced though, you got in touch and he made the next move for coffee.

There is no such balance in the OP's contact so sadly it's obvious the guy isn't keen.

That's what I mean though Hansel, because we were both on the same page re:contact/frequency, I felt that we were well matched. With other guys I've had the same thing, I text, wait around, hear nothing, question everything....it's soul destroying.

To me, if it's right then texting every 10 minutes won't hurt it, sleeping together on the first date won't kill it, being yourself won't be an issue. It's only when you're not that into each other that those things are a problem.

If this guy is finding the same level of communication too much now that they've met, he's just not that into OP. It's crap, but that's life, move on.

With the next guy, if he's really into her, he'll welcome the attention from her. If he's the sort of twat who doesn't want a woman to like him, he's best avoided. I think it's a good way to avoid a misogynistic arse, if the guy wants to do all the chasing and doesn't want you to be 'easy' in any sense, he's probably a dick and would be a difficult partner for someone who wants to be able to show affection and to be keen.

Absolutely agree with that Penelope - When it's right, it's right, no soul searching to be done.

Thanks ladies x