This has taken me so long to be able to write this thread - I have thought about it for months and months and months but I don't know what I expect to achieve by posting really. I don't need anyone to tell me how useless he is, I know that already too well, although I wont be offended if you do. I just don't know what to do, it never changes, he always says he will change and help more but it never lasts long and i always have to ask him to do things.
Today has just been another typical afternoon/evening so may as well use this a prime example.
He came in from work at 4p.m, he had been there since 7.30 this morning. I am working at home, have been all day since 8.30am with DD at home with me. He comes in, sits down looking through some brochure or another with DD constantly on at him "come and do this daddy, come and do that daddy" - He falls asleep. I was working until 5p.m but I was the one that kept going and seeing what DD wanted and giving her something else to try and keep her occupied for a while (she is 2.2 btw).
5pm comes, I finish work, cook DD's dinner, wash up dishes accumulated throughout course of the day, have a general tidy up, sit DD down for her dinner. While she eats her dinner I clean kitchen, sweep floor etc. When she finished her dinner, I clean up after that and wash her dishes.
All the while DH is asleep on the chair.
He then asks what time he should go to the gym - I just said do what you like, so he does, goes upstairs and gets his gym gear ready, now he's gone to the gym.
DD still needs bathing/getting settled for bed and our dinner still needs cooking, as he walked out the door he said he would cook when he gets home.
Writing it down this doesn't seem like a lot but this is an every day thing - I don't work everyday usually but i am this week and next, I usually only work 2.5 days whereas DH works 5 days.
He will sometimes cook when I ask him, he will sometimes bathe DD when I ask him, he will sometimes put DD to bed when* I ask him and he will sometimes help me tidy up when* I ask him*. He goes to the gym Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday, he goes to football training on a Thursday and plays in a game on Sundays.
I am 7.5 months pregnant at the moment and its not that I feel i can't cope because I can, I know I can but why the hell should I - he is my husband, we have been together for 7 years nearly, our DD is 2 and we have another on the way, I have not done all of this by myself.
DD will not go to DH for anything, if she is upset she comes to me, if she is tired she comes to me, if she is poorly she comes to me, if she wakes in the night she only wants me. DH tries to get her to go to him but she is not interested. He has no quailty time with her, i suggested today when he got in from work that he take her to the park for half hour to get her out of the house, he just ignored me. I don't expect him to want to do a great deal when he gets home from work but then why should I do it all. At weekends we do things as a family, he never ever does things alone with her - this is obviously the reason she will not go to him.
Everything just seems such a mess but with such simple answers - I don't mind him having a social life, going to the gym, playing football etc, why shouldn't he, he works hard but yes sometimes I begrudge it when I am the one sat at home doing everything while he acts like a single bloke. If i stamp my feet and shout, he does things but I don't see why I should have to do that, he is an adult and i feel like I mother him, he does too because there are time he says that I should stop acting like his mum.
I just want a little bit of help - I just want him to offer to bathe DD, I just want him to be considerate and say he will go to the gym at 7.30 when DD is in bed and everything is clean and tidy.
Things are like this now, imagine what they will be like when we have a newborn too.
I am dreading the possibilty of staying in hospital this time as DD will be a nightmare, its not that she is clingy to me, because she isn't, she will go to my mum, my MIL etc.
Sorry if this doesn't make sense or if i have repeated things - I just feel a bit lost at the minute.