WTF am I doing ??

[nutcracker]

Couldn't decide where to stick this but here seemed to fit, although feeling depressed might fit too.

Ok most of you know whats going on with me and P, we are splitting up and hopefully (please god) he will be gone in the next week or two.

I though am making this about one hundred times harder for myself by already sort of trying to get involved with someone else, and to make it worse the someone else isn't really interested, well one minute they are and next they aren't, it's the kids that are putting them off I think.

I know him through my friend, he is her cousin. She lives here in Brum same as me and he lives in London. We have had lots of chats on msn and he is all for meeting up at some point but said he can't promise anything else like a relationship or anything. I mean lets face it there are so many obstacles it will probably never ever happen so why oh why am I finding it so hard to accept ??

I spend all day virtually glued to the computer incase he signs into msn, keep my mobile that close to me it may as well be an extra arm and can't sleep for thinking about him.

I am so close to just walking out of here and never coming back it's untrue. I just canot cope with everything that is going on right now, I feel so confused, upset and miserable.

Hmmm have had counselling before, it was crap, made me feel worse tbh.

It could be worse, he could live near me and then i'd be beside myself.

Hmm doesn't sound like a very nice book expat.

well like i said i think it is v natural for you to feel as you do, based on your past with exp, because this bloke has woken you up and made you feel wanted and attractive and alive

what worries me is that you say you will settle for what you can get from him, because you might think that now, but i think it unlikely you will stay feeling like that, as you will always be hoping he will give you that tiny bit more

of course if you are happy to keep it as a casual thing and you can then go for it, but your posts seem to suggest otherwise

cant you just use and abuse him?

It's a VERY good book! Written by a man for women. Tells it like it is from a man's point of view and is so spot on, it changed my life.

I stopped wasting my time after reading that.

I would love to use and abuse him really I would but the distance puts a bit of a stop to that LOL.

I do know that we will probably never have a relationship and so a casual fling would be fantastic and might be just what I need.

I'll look for it expat.

I wasted two years of my life with a man who was there one minute, but not the next. He'd stand me up, then come over and stay. He'd arrange holidays for us, then nitpick a row and run off for days. He'd break it off, then beg to come back.

I loved him desperately, but he wasn't good for me, and I had to learn how to love me more if I were ever going to have a chance at a peaceful life.

That book helped!

I know it seems like I am taking no notice of what you are all saying but I am honestly.

Anyone in London wanna do a houseswap with me

Nutty, I know you said you had a bad experience with counseling. Can you treat yourself to some cranio-osteo therapy? Lots of times we have emotions (from a very early age) that are locked up inside our bodies. It is difficult to explain, but I believe in it. Especially as I see from what you are writing here that this has been with you since you were little. At least you can be guided through the experience. I find for myself, when I am in the middle of a crises, it is very difficult to sit with a book, absorb it and then make changes. Just a thought....you deserve it and I think you might see some results right away.

It sounds quite good sunchowder but I doubt I could afford it right now really.

I think you call it Osteo-Cranio over there Nutty. I'm sure someone would take you on a sliding scale payment--don't you? I really, really believe it would help you so much.

expat, you need to write you own book i think

I'm not sure where i'd start looking tbh Sunchowder.

I think I need a job, just a small one with no responsibilty, no worries etc. Just something to get me out of the house and feeling human again.

The phone book Nutty! They have them all over, especially wonderful for children. If you query on here you are bound to find some where you live.

Oh right ok, i'll have a look then.

Thanks

how are you today nutty?

Alot better thanks Lou, there is another thread in relationships somewhere.

whats it called?

i have to go out soon and speak to dd1's school