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Original poster

Ds's first weekend with ex

48 replies

PPaka · 21/08/2014 17:31

So, he's taking him to his friends house for the weekend. They have a farm, 3 kids similar age, who he's met a number of times before.
Long train journey, but I've set up iPad/books/colouring etc

Today ds realises I'm not going and cries, sobs.
We've been talking about it for weeks, he was really looking forward to it. He says he thought they were just going for the day.

He will have a great time when he gets there, but he's really pulling at heart strings
Says he wants a family holiday
Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
PPaka · 21/08/2014 19:28

Don't think it helps that ds has been glued to my side for the whole Summer holidays.
He's nearly 7, he'll be fine won't he?

OP posts:
SquidgyMummy · 21/08/2014 19:30

he'll be absolutely fine and have a great time!

PoirotsMoustache · 22/08/2014 16:40

He'll be fine - 10 minutes into the journey he'll have forgotten all about being upset and will be having a great time.

Original poster
PPaka · 23/08/2014 12:23

Ex left messages telling me he needs help and ds hates him and everything- he's obviously had a meltdown- now he's not answering his phone
Think they might be coming home
This was a real test, ex only ever had ds for a couple of hours by himself before.
Half a day out kinda thing

Oh fgs

OP posts:
Original poster
PPaka · 23/08/2014 12:41

Just spoke to him
Apparently ds needs lithium and is not normal
Great - he's managing that situation well then

OP posts:
LadyLuck10 · 23/08/2014 12:44

It sounds horrible for you and your DS. Are they bringing him home?

Original poster
PPaka · 23/08/2014 13:04

It's 5 hours away
Not sure they can just come home

OP posts:
flippinada · 23/08/2014 13:51

Poor you and DS, what an upsetting situation. Don't think much to your ex (that's putting it very politely).

Is he going to bring DS back?

flippinada · 23/08/2014 13:53

Of course he doesn't need lithium. What a vile thing to say Angry.

He's a little boy who is in a new situation and missing him mum. He needs kindness and a bit of spoiling. Poor wee thing.

Original poster
PPaka · 23/08/2014 14:06

I spoke to ds, he was having fun.

He is definitely a handful, but I manage him

Ex hasn't the first clue
Tbf his behaviour sounds awful.
Ds does get completely overwhelmed and overexcited and very silly

OP posts:
Original poster
PPaka · 23/08/2014 14:08

But it will be my fault- I haven't taught him manners or discipline- wait and see.

OP posts:
Goldmandra · 23/08/2014 14:15

Children have an unerring ability to know when an adult is inept at behaviour management. They usually take full advantage because having nobody in charge makes them feel insecure.

Maybe
the friends they are staying with will help.

Original poster
PPaka · 23/08/2014 14:27

The friends are used to kids
H isn't
They'll keep him in check

OP posts:
flippinada · 23/08/2014 14:39

Glad to hear DS is having fun; mine does the hyper and silly thing when excited as well. I think it's pretty normal.

My concern was that he was taking out the behaviour on your DS so glad to hear that's not the case.

flippinada · 23/08/2014 14:40

Sounds like he's just trying to get at you then. Lovely. Can't imagine why he's your ex!

Original poster
PPaka · 23/08/2014 14:45

This is unfair
I'm sitting here worrying and he sends me a photo of ds looking like he's having a great time

OP posts:
flippinada · 23/08/2014 14:57

Yes it is unfair. Nasty, spiteful behaviour from your ex. I would imagine he's finding it hard work and is doing this to get at you.

I may be way off beam here and apologies if so but was he critical and controlling when you were together?

Also, no need to speak to him on the phone. If he needs to let you know anything he can do so by text.

Original poster
PPaka · 23/08/2014 15:04

Oh yes
Angry, verbally abusive
Blamed me for eveything
It's taken me a long time to get this far.

OP posts:
FolkGirl · 23/08/2014 15:10

Or alternatively, he might be really floundering because he hasn't got the first clue what he's doing... contacted you in frustration and desperation... and has now sent you a photo to show you everything is ok...

Of course, I don't know what's really going on in his head, and you don't either, but you can choose how you interpret it, and I would interpret it in a way that is the most comfortable and least stressful for you.

And make the most of the time you have to yourself.

Original poster
PPaka · 23/08/2014 15:18

He is struggling
But doubtless he is overreacting

OP posts:
flippinada · 23/08/2014 15:29

I hear you Paka. You've done brilliantly to get to this stage. Well done on getting rid.

Tbh I think suggesting that a 7 year old boy needs lithium - which is a heavy duty medication used to treat adults with bipolar disorder (at least it was, don't know if it's still widely used) - is a fair indication that this isn't somebody who is well intentioned but struggling to manage.

Original poster
PPaka · 23/08/2014 15:34

No, he says a lot of nasty things.
If our child was so "abnormal" that he needed medication it would be a cause for concern and we should sit down with health professionals, not bandy about terms like " needs lithium"

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 23/08/2014 15:37

Are you the poster that is still living with their abusive ex?

flippinada · 23/08/2014 15:41

Going on what you've said here he sounds bloody awful. No decent person would talk about any child, let alone their own, like that.

Do you have anything nice planned for yourself while your DS is away?

Original poster
PPaka · 23/08/2014 16:21

Yep cogito, still in the house

OP posts: