Do you & your DP go to bed at the same time? A grip needed here!

[BlueberryMuffins76]

Just that really, do you and your DP go to bed at the same time? Or does one of you go and the other follow later? For the most part, my DP and I go to bed together, after watching a bit of tv or something. Lately (we've been together less than a year) there's been a couple of nights where I've been shattered, and he hasn't - I've fallen asleep on the sofa and then have come up to bed whilst he's stayed down and watched a film or whatever. This in theory is fine - however, I'm really struggling with it for some reason. I'm prone to bad anxiety over the most random things, and this seems to have really triggered it. Like now, he's downstairs - I know he might fall asleep on the sofa and that's fine, at 4am I'll wake up thinking he did it on purpose to avoid being in bed with me. I don't know why I'm finding this such a big deal, when it's fine isn't it? Surely lots of couples go to bed at different times? Like I said, a grip needed here!

We always go to bed at the same time. If I want to stay up DP will sleep on the sofa, he will not go to bed without me, would rather sleep on the sofa till I go up. If he keeps getting woken up I tell him to go up but he wont.

If I wanted an early night DP would suggest I sleep on the sofa if he isnt tired. But i dont like sleeping on the sofa so when i put my foot down and go to bed he will follow me and huff and puff because he is not tired.

I got to bed before dp but never sleep til he's up.

I remember feeling really anxsty about this in my last relationship because in the first honeymoon couple of years we would never go to bed at a different time, then he gradually started staying up a bit, it made me question his feelings etc.. This time I'm totally relaxed about it because I know it's just that we have different habits to wind down. I think you have to find your own space and patterns when you live together, and they won't always dovetail.

Always in bed at the same time and always before ten. We are both up very early every day and like to be snuggled in for an early night.

If one of us needs an early night we'll go up alone. We don't do the sleeping on the sofa thing. If you're tired you go to bed.

We've always gone to bed at the same time - unless one of us is very tired or ill. If one of us isn't 'sleep' tired, we'll read or watch TV on low volume - DP sometimes plays on his computer which is in the bedroom with headphones. I'm a pretty good sleeper so it doesn't bother me, and if he falls asleep before me I usually read.

It's not set in stone - it just happens, we'll get to a certain point and murmur about going up to bed. We definitely don't get up at the same time though; I wake up pretty early (6-7am) and on days off, DP will get up anywhere between 8-10am.

Don't worry about it. It's likely not intentional- if you're really worried, talk to him.

We used to try go at the same time because we thought it's more romantic or something like that, but after a few months of me being knackered and wide awake listening to DH faff about on his laptop or phone, we admitted defeat!

I usually go up first and get settled and he'll follow me up an hour later for a cuddle before we both drop off. Far more romantic than me wanting his blood for incessant rapping!

Ffs. Tapping. Not rapping! Though I don't know which one would be more annoying

I normally go to bed earlier and he watches a bit of news before coming up.

He likes to unwind by himself for a bit and I like to watch a bit of tv in bed without him moaning that the light is keeping him awake.

Hmmm. I would say that we go to bed at the same time around 95% of the time.

Our apartment is very small, so it's not like there is a huge distance between the living room and the bedroom.

My partner has to go to bed once he gets tired, whilst I can easily feel extremely tired, but stay up for no reason whatsoever. So it's actually nice to have a healthy sleeping pattern imposed on me

On days where one of us isn't tired at all, or have gone out until late, then we will sleep in different rooms. Neither of us like going to bed knowing that we are going to be woken up by the other at some random time.

always always! Its one of my favourite parts of the day, pillow talk, then he might watch tv while I snooze in his arm. We're very creatures of habit, would be really odd to do it differently. Generally around 10pm, as we both need to be up at half 6. Works for us.

Only time it hasnt happened was when he had a really bad cold earlier this year, then he was in bed all afternoon (after grouting the bathroom bless him!)

Rarely. I usually go up first on a weeknight so he can watch his skyplussed crap on Discovery without me complaining in the background and weekends he's usually in bed before me - especially if he's been to the match and had a few pints - much preferable to watching his nodding dog impression all night.

I mostly go to bed first - dh puts me to bed after the news headlines, hangs out chatting for a bit, then spends another hour or so awake downstairs. I need more sleep than him.

very rarely. I love to go to bed fairly early, read my book, potter about on mumsnet etc. DH loves the quiet that descends on the house once the rest of us are in bed.

We used to go to bed at the same time pre dc, but now 'alone time' is more precious to us both

Depends if its interfering with your relationship.

If you get no cuddles and sex is becoming a rare event because he's not coming to bed at a reasonable time this early in the relationship it would worry me.

On the other hand it might be that he simply isn't always ready for bed on those days and he likes to be on his own for a bit.

90% of the time we go up together. I think we both like the routine and with young kids it's a bit more time of just us together. Sometimes she'll watch some crime series and I'll head up early. I never stay up after her, though she'll often fall asleep on the sofa with me watching a film then I'll have to wake her up and we'll go down together. Probably helps we both get up early so are both tired about the same time in the evening.

We rarely go to bed at the same time. DH works evenings, getting home at 1am is a weekly occurrence. I get up at 6 to sort myself out and do the school run. I am often in bed before DH gets home.

DH and I go bed at different times, normally me first. Sometimes if DH is up early for work he will go to bed and I stay up watching Corrie or something like that I actually enjoy my couple of hours in bed on my own before DH comes up and steals the duvet. If everything in your relationship is good I certainly wouldn't be worrying

We go to bed together every night and get up together every morning and have breakfast together. We think it's important to have that time together x

Probably 4 nights a week (ish) we go to bed at the same time. Maybe one night a week he is out for a work event, and I only wait up for him if I'm not too tired. Then a couple of nights a week he works later in to the evening and I watch TV in bed and usually fall asleep. This works for us.

If its been a couple of nights in a row that we havent gone up at the same time, though, I usually make some sort of advance for him to come up with me, though. I need the intimacy (and sex!).

I go to sleep much earlier than my husband so when I go to bed he comes up and gets his pajamas one and we will have a cuddle, sex or watch tv in bed for a bit together and then he will get up again and come back to bed later when he is ready.

Always together. Unless DH is working very late which is pretty rare or if I am out for the night.

It is important for us I think to have that part of the day where we cuddle and chat with no distractions.

We sleep in separate rooms! Very romantic! DH needs less sleep than me and snores loudly and I hate to be disturbed

Sometimes we go to bed together. It did bother me when we went through a bad patch, we'd basically sit in silence together all evening, then I'd go to bed and he'd stay up late playing computer games. We worked through that and now have cosy chats and snuggles in the evening, especially if he's on a late shift which means he doesn't get in until after 10pm. Then if I go to bed before him I don't feel that we have missed out on any intimacy. And he doesn't stay up as late anymore.

I am almost always in bed before him at the moment as I am pregnant and more sleepy than usual.

Never, he is a night owl and I am an early bird.