Calling all couch psychologists...

[MelindaBarey]

I've been dating a guy for about three months. I really like him but I am wondering whether to cut my losses. Basically, I wonder whether he is capable of an intimate relationship...

I have a history of trying to save people and i don't want to get involved in another losing battle.

A bit of background about him...he is early 30s, his parents died when he was young. He had a very tough upbringing. He had a 10 year relationship and his ex cheated on him twice.

He is a very outgoing and happy person on the surface but admits he gets angry in work and is known for losing his temper with his staff. In his personal life, he professes to be very laid back and says he lets everything wash over him. He has spoken of times when people he has dated have actd "crazily" and he just walks away and cuts them off.

He says he wants a relationship and to settle down. The sex is very good but he doesn't cuddle. He'll hold hands when I do but he doesn't hug or initiate much physical contact. He never talks about feelings about anything.

He says he has dealt with his past by just burying it. He says he got through it thanks to his friends who are his family and he will never settle for a relationship where anybody tried to come between him and his time with his "family" in the pub.

We get on great, there is physical chemistry but I am not sure there is emotional chemistry. I am very attracted to him. But I do get the feeling the relationship is very much on his terms. I know its early days but we really only see each other when he can fit me in. Although, he is in contact all the time. Sometimes I don't know if I am being paranoid or he is blowing hot and cold.

Am I on to a dead end here?

[FunkyBoldRibena]

Hello love, I am late to the party but come on! You have been let off the hook big style here.

Think about it - in the years to come, when you would have been upset at him shouting at you/your kid/staying out all hours drinking/abusing you he would be able to say 'you knew I had anger issues when we first met'.

Now, you can research 'codependency' and try to have a bit more self esteem and get a better quality of man in your life.

[AtrociousCircumstance]

Agree. You've had a really lucky escape.