Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Can this ever get better?

70 replies

ArethaFranklinstights · 15/08/2014 09:29

Please be gentle, am feeling very raw. Sad

Been with DH for 12 years and married for 10. 3 kids under 4, I'm a SAHM. Nice lifestyle, no money worries. Absolutely crap sex life. He never (and I mean never) initiates it. For him it's a chore he'd rather not bother with. We have sex maybe 4 times a year, always when I've thrown a fit about it. We sleep separately, he smokes and snores.
I've ignored my sexuality for so long I'd started to believe it doesn't matter. But then something happened and I've realised it does.
DH says for him sex is a really emotional intimate thing whereas my approach is much more recreational. Somehow I just don't seem to do it for him and then he loses his erection and gets angry, usually at me. He thinks he knows how frustrated I am but he's no idea how much this is making me climb the walls.
I decided to do everything I could to try and make it right but he couldn't get hard. He really would rather just not bother.
He came in last night and said he'd taken a Viagra (he bought some off the internet at my insistence) and expected me to be thrilled and I pointed out that I'd rather not have sex with someone who thinks they're doing me a favour by shaggjng me.
He's been to the doc about it (after the last time I insisted) and the doc wouldn't prescribe anything as he told her that he didn't have any erection/performance issues when he was on his own.
I tearfully told him last night that I couldn't go on like this, and I didn't know how to fix it or if it could be fixed even. He tells me he loves me, we both adore the children and if we could get this sorted I think we would be fine.
This has gone on for so long, years and years even before we had the kids, so it's not that. I don't want to sound big headed but I'm in good shape and I don't think it's as simple as a straight attractiveness thing.
I really want this to work, but honestly can it?

OP posts:
DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 15/08/2014 17:00

(Very tough delivery, PND, one with special needs, another with a chronic illness.) We're quite battle weary.

DH says for him sex is a really emotional intimate thing whereas my approach is much more recreational.

It sounds like you have been through a lot. I don't know the answer but talking to a professional counsellor separately and together you might trace back to when the detaching started.

ArethaFranklinstights · 15/08/2014 17:03

"Well you are going to have to confront the elephant in the room. 4 nights a week headspace is quite a lot for a family person, you sure you know exactly where he is on these nights out?"

Yes he's sat with his two geeky mates discussing politics. My Dad and brother also pop in to see him, and I've no doubt whatsoever he is where he says he is. It's his routine, see? Part of the aspergers traits sadly.

OP posts:
DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 15/08/2014 17:04

Without any particular belief system in mind, it always strikes me as sad that at a key moment or crisis, when you might hope for unflinching support, people who live rich lives within a religious community during the good times are dissuaded from or fearful of reaching out.

Jan45 · 15/08/2014 17:15

I think, as has been said, you both need counselling.

ArethaFranklinstights · 15/08/2014 17:15

Donkeys I know what you mean. And to be fair, if it was another kind of a crisis they'd be there, but this, I'd have to explain it in another way other than a problematic sex life. But then it's more than that anyway? I'm starting to see.

OP posts:
ArethaFranklinstights · 15/08/2014 17:16

Jan45 psychosexual counselling?

The way I feel now if want him to find and book that.

OP posts:
Jan45 · 15/08/2014 17:20

I was thinking Relate?

LineRunner · 15/08/2014 17:39

I think the lack of foreplay and straight into whatever second base is might be indicative of porn use. Is that possible?

ArethaFranklinstights · 15/08/2014 17:39

Well I've just been to Majestic and am planning to avoid him for at least tonight. Am so angry and sad.

OP posts:
ArethaFranklinstights · 15/08/2014 17:40

LineRunner possibly but I really doubt it. And I have no problem with porn tbh.

OP posts:
ArethaFranklinstights · 15/08/2014 17:41

See, linerunner I'm having to face the possibility that he doesn't actually like sex with me so he just does whatever gets him off fastest.

OP posts:
Jan45 · 15/08/2014 17:43

Don't be too quick to dismiss the porn use - if he's a heavy addicted user then that could actually be the root cause of your problems.

Cabrinha · 15/08/2014 18:29

I think (forgive me) that you too intelligent for your own good. You're trying to fix this, because you're clever, you care, are driven, well informed and well read on relationship matters.

BIG GUNS.

I think he needs professional counselling - and even really Relate, though that might work in tandem. I think there are deep issues here. And you can't fix them.

On specifics, you did amazingly well to get him to mention his cock to a GP! But there is a limit to what you can do - he has to say "that's not enough doc" and he has to want to sort it. The sex, but the relationship too.
I think you'll wear yourself out trying to fix it, and you'll be too weary to go on.

I have no psychosexual evidence for this suggestion... But I wonder if he could go to therapist to work on his own anger (e.g. about the SAHM issue)
Btw - he may massively resent that income. He's out working, and he can't even pull the "breadwinner" line on you. He shouldn't anyway, but he may feel disempowered by it, and resentful. I'm digressing...

So, intensive individual for him.
Potentially psychosexual too, but depends on whether his individual leads you to conclusion that he has an issue affecting your sex life, rather than a sex issue.
After a while, marital for the pair of you.
In the mean time: a pact - you tell him you won't talk about sex for x period. But he mustn't wank over same period. Hard to enforce, but he may as a side issue be training himself on too specific fantasies / porn / death grip. Perhaps it would help if he too were, ahem, gagging for it.
Take a psychosexual counsellor' advice over mine on that though!

It is AWFUL not having sex. Not just the physical lack, but it fucks you over emotionally too.

Next thing you know, you're in a wine seriously considering shagging a wanker with a yacht photo who is only stroking your neck cos your mate told him to fuck off, and cos your other mate - top dog - he's too scared of.

And yes - you know me xxx
I'm only breaking cover because I'm sure it won't bother you.

ArethaFranklinstights · 15/08/2014 18:31

Love ya all the world!

OP posts:
Cabrinha · 15/08/2014 18:45

May I quote Elsa from Frozen?

It's funny how some distance, makes everything seem small - and the fears that once controlled you, can't get to you at all.

My anthem post split. You say it's too hard to split. Everything that seemed insurmountable before, has hardly bothered me since. Not easy, but nothing was as hard as I thought. Everything - how child would cope, money, practicalities, future partners...

I'm not saying leave. I want this to be fixable!

But work on it knowing that you can go. Not that you feel you have to stay.

ArethaFranklinstights · 15/08/2014 18:50

We would be ok on a practical level. I have good friends. Wink

But you're right. This is batshit crazy living like this.

OP posts:
ArethaFranklinstights · 15/08/2014 19:16

He's come home with wine flowers and chocs but has just announced he's going to the pub because it's Friday.
Surely the normal response would be to address things?

OP posts:
Cabrinha · 15/08/2014 19:36

I think the normal (though incorrect) response is to run and hide.
:(

ArethaFranklinstights · 17/08/2014 10:55

Update: he's refused, absolutely, to see anyone about this. He said he needs to just get over the stuff that's made him angry ("and I've got way more on you than you have on me") and start a fresh. I pointed out that a) that isn't dealing with it, we've tried that before as infinitum and it didn't work and b) I can't shelve being sexually rejected for years and just hop back into bed. I said that this issue is much bigger than both of us can deal with.
That was last night, I was going out and this morning he's acting completely normal.

I don't know what to do.

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 18/08/2014 09:05

Can you book some counselling for yourself.
This must be so hard for you.
I wouldn't know what to do either.
A 3rd party may be able to help you make that decision.
You need to take control of the situation.

You know you can't live like this. So what are the alternatives.
Maybe right a list of all options and put pros and cons against them all?

Sorry he's not going to try to resolve this.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page