I've just asked my Ex if he would get back with me.

[MsBrunette]

He said 'I miss you everyday, I think about you everyday and I enjoy being with you. I don't know how I feel'.

How do I take that?

I have been asking him back for over a year now and he does tell me the sweetest things but this last text has confused me and I'm not sure whether I should say 'what do you mean?' Or if he is trying to tell me something that I'm not understanding.

He hasn't refused, he has just told me that he doesn't know.

I don't badger him about it, we see each other every week and we have a great time together with our DC but I don't ask him if he would get back with me often just when the topic of conversation seems to be going in that direction.

I ask I'm if he would because I love love to be with him but he has never told me that he feels differently, he answers cryptically and this is why I am confused.

*I ask him if he would because I would love to be with him.

People are what they do.

If he wanted to, he would be with you. He doesn't so he isn't.

What pay off does he get from his behaviour? Does he get to just do whatever he feels like? See the children only when he wants to?

He's out shagging other women but keeping you dangling just in case none of these work out. If he wanted to be with you and your DC, he would be

I am sorry to tell you but if you were my friend in real life I would tell you not to be/chase a man who doesn't know whether he wants you.

Go and find someone that does

He split with me when I was pregnant with DC2 as he was stressed with work and couldn't cope having another DC (both planned) and now he tells me that he hates his life how it is now.

He does dictate when he sees the DC, I arrange contact and drop them off etc.

So he left when you were pregnant, you run around dropping the kids off for him....what exactly did/does he do for you?

Didn't you post about this guy the other week?

He is absolutely using you and stringing you along. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't know if he wants to be with you? You're just wasting your life on him.

If I wrote what I look for/wanted in a man it would be him; even my family say how perfect we were together.

You need to change your list so that it doesn't include :

Selfish tosspot who abandons his partner and children, a manipulator who has you facilitating contact.

You need a better list, love. What do you have to do to grow your self esteem enough to not want this useless loser who used you in your life?

Take it that if you've been asking him for a year, and he still hasn't, then he doesn't want to get back with you.

Now muster up some respect for yourself and stop asking him. You'll never move on while you're still clinging on to him.

You haven't been pregnant for a while and he's not been stressed and hasn't been sure. What's changed in him to make you think he is sure and his first reaction to the next bout of stress is to split up again.

Sounds like you're in love with your idea of the perfect family and not how this would be in reality.

If I'm wrong, how?

I'm sorry but it sounds like he's keeping you on the back burner until he decides what he wants. He's doing just enough to keep you dangling and hoping.

Is there an OW? Might he be waiting to see how that pans out before he makes his "choice"?

I know that this is not what you want to hear.

May I ask a personal question? Are you still intimate with him?

Sorry but this is the guy who left you when you were pregnant because he was scared you would get PND again, isn't it?

No we are not intimate, we haven't touched each other since the split.

Surely you realise if he wanted you back he would have said so a long time ago. I think he doesn't want to hurt your feelings by saying that outright to you.

Really sorry but I agree that the text indicates that he doesn't want to hurt your feelings and change the way things are but saying "No". He's avoiding answering. It means he doesn't want to.

Too much of a risk with kids around to be able to trust him again.

He's just not that into you...

Run.

Agree to set days he can have the kids. Without you there. Get him to collect DCs. You go out and find a nice man who wants to be with you for the bad aswell as the good.

Sorry to say he's probably shacked up with other woman. Does he pay for DCs?

He does pay for our DC.

We do like spending time together and that's why we spend time at the weekend with the DC after his contact with them.

I want to be with him and I enjoy seeing him with the DC, how can I just switch off my feelings for him after so long?