AIBU don't want to leave my 3 yr old ...

[TooManyNames]

An old friend has invited me to Cape Town for her sisters wedding. She said she'd pay for the flights but I would have to leave my DD (PFB) in the UK with DH. I don't want to be so far away from her. I've not spent a single night away since she was born. I've gone out and had bbsitters etc. in the evenings, but I'm there overnight and in the morning. AIBU to not want to go for this reason?

So, DD will be with her daddy?

I don't get the worry, sorry. That is her parent. Do you not trust your DH? Slightly patronising to think your DH can't/won't cope 3-4 days just the two of them. They'll have a WHALE of a time.

I've left dd a few times, at 18 months for a couple of days and she was fine, and a couple of times at 3 for 3 days each time and she missed me but it helped her bond with DH. He should feel confident looking after the dc on his own, you should feel confident in his ability to cope too. You'll probably find it easier than you think once you start to let go a bit.

My DH would have been more than capable. I trust him 100%

I would not have been comfortable with that level of geographical separation for that long. It was important to me that those first times were short and close for me as the absent parent. It was right for me. Nothing to do with the level of parenting of my spouse.

You don't have to understand it I suppose. Just accept that we all feel differently.

So she'll be 4 YO.
DH and your DD will be fine together.
But your feelings are yours and completely valid.
It's good to do it one step at a time.
I hope you do go and have a wonderful time.

If its your first time away, from my experience as a dad, you may want to be prepared for some/all of the following

1. You may think your house has been burgled when you return. (it hasn't)
2. When you ask what they got up to she may reply, 'we chopped trees down/removed the car engine/went abseiling'
3. The food you bought for the weekend away will all still be in the fridge. The bin will be full of marshmallow/dominos/chinese takeaway wrappers
4. She will be wearing a combination of clothes that you don't entirely recognise, at least half of the clothing will be stuff she grew out of a year ago.
5. Her and DH will have some secret code which they find HILARIOUS and you find a tad annoying.

6.Her fave film will be either The inbetweeners or Star wars

1. DH will look at you with a new found respect for how you make all of this look so easy
2. Point 7 will only last about a week so make the most of it
3. Her, DH and you will all have a fab time.

@ GetTheFeckOuttaHere that is hilarious. Thanks and I'll keep it in mind. Have you ever considered stand-up comedy? Hehe...

It's not about you though right, it's about your 3 year old - if said 3 year old needs mummy, then mummy isn't there and has no chance of getting there anytime soon I couldn't do it - i know other people who could and as much as people here reassure you its ok. Well the fact is if your 3 year old's primary caregiver / favourite person isn't you, is DH / GM are you comfortable with that? because that is possibly what will happen, and certainly is what people will suspect.

Essexmummy - sorry i'm confused. Are you saying that that you couldn't go because a 3 year old child might not have their fave person there??

That makes me wonder how said fave person is supposed to go shopping alone, to work, into hospital etc etc.? Sounds ridiculous to me.