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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

just caught my husband...

35 replies

BadMother2014 · 07/08/2014 08:41

Came down this morning after my husband joking he is going to sleep with another woman because our sex life has been awful.. opened the laptop to find he has been looking at escort sites. For what possible reason would he be looking at escort sites? He is laughing it off and thinks its funny

OP posts:

MarlboroMary · 07/08/2014 08:43

It's not funny, he is serious. At the least he's trying to blackmail you into sex. Most likely he has already visited an escort.
Sorry to hear this.

Clarabum · 07/08/2014 08:44

Hand holding here until someone comes along who knows what to say.
What makes him say that your sex life is awful(other than the fact he's a cock)?
He sounds like a bit of a dick if he thinks it's funny.

QuintessentiallyQS · 07/08/2014 08:46

It takes two people to have a sex life. If you look at HIS part in your lacking sex life, you will get a clear picture, and it is very telling that he is already considering others, rather than you. Maybe your awful sex life is because he lost interest in you and started fantasizing about seeking thrills elsewhere? In any event, he is a cock. Sorry.

FreeSpirit89 · 07/08/2014 08:48

I'd LTB, it seems like he either has already done it, or is trying to bribe you into sleeping with him so he doesn't stray.

Sorry your having to deal with this creature

aylesburyduck · 07/08/2014 08:49

I'd be packing his bags.

I'd doubt whether his is joking about visiting an escort. I am with MarlboroMary on this one and would stick my shirt on the fact that he's already used one.

sorry you are having to deal with this

farendofafart · 07/08/2014 08:49

Oh dear. How awful for you.

As for the first bit - if there is a problem with your sex life, it's no doubt boils down to him being a selfish, entitled, mysoginist prick.

newnamesamegame · 07/08/2014 08:49

adding my voice to these.... there's just no excuse for this behaviour. There's nothing funny about looking for escort sites when you are supposed to be in a committed relationship. Sorry you are going through this I've been through similar and I feel for you and hope you manage to get through this OK

aylesburyduck · 07/08/2014 08:50

x-post with FreeSpirit89!

Original poster

BadMother2014 · 07/08/2014 08:55

Because of pregnancies, ive been too tired. His explanation is that he just likes looking at the pictures.
Thing is is that he has terrible OCD and i really dont think it would allow him to sleep with a prostitute. So im thoroughly confused.

OP posts:

newnamesamegame · 07/08/2014 08:57

OP you don't need to excuse this. Nothing you have done, or not done, justifies this.

43percentburnt · 07/08/2014 08:58

Are you pregnant now?

Original poster

BadMother2014 · 07/08/2014 08:59

No I just lost a pregnancy about week and a bit ago

OP posts:

HumblePieMonster · 07/08/2014 09:03

FolkGirl · 07/08/2014 09:05

So sorry to hear about your loss.

But really, this man is an adult. He likes "looking at the pictures"?

I wouldn't like to say whether he's already used a prostitute. I don't know him and I'm not psychic.

I suppose the absolute best case scenario is that he deliberately found a website and left it open so that when you opened the laptop you'd see it as a continunation of the hilarious joke of last night...

And as best case scenarios go, this is a pretty lame one! He's deserve dumping for being a twat and having an appallingly shit sense of humour if that were the case. Especially in light of the fact you have recently had an MC

Nevertriedapickledegg · 07/08/2014 09:09

What a heartless way for your DH to behave. Expecting a return to sex at this time is ambitious to say the least, but it also looks like he left those sites open deliberately to scare you into it which is horribly selfish.

BoffinMum · 07/08/2014 09:11

Counselling time. This is not a good way for him to be behaving and rubbing your nose in it makes it even worse. Really cruel.

TBH I would throw mine out for behaving like this. We would be laughing together right to the point where the door was firmly locked behind him.

FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 07/08/2014 09:17

I'm sorry? You've just been through a loss and your dh is laughing about looking at escorts?!

I am so very sorry for your loss he should be looking after you, not badgering you about sex.

I'm actually in that is so utterly callous and heartless I don't know where to begin.

You don't deserve this. Whether he would go through with it or not, the looking is terrible. Please be kind to yourself.

Guiltypleasures001 · 07/08/2014 09:22

I'm sorry to hear about your loss lovely, you need head space and support not this kind of me torture.

I also think the door hitting his arse on the way out would be a good way to concentrate his mind.

fourfatsnakes · 07/08/2014 09:36

^^ this
And

Guiltypleasures001 · 07/08/2014 09:44

Sorry mind not me

LadyFairfaxSake · 07/08/2014 09:46

MarlboroMary,

On what grounds do you say "most likely he has already visited an escort"?

NotDavidTennant · 07/08/2014 09:50

The internet is full of "pictures". There's no need to go on an escort site to see them. Crappest excuse ever.

KnackeredMuchly · 07/08/2014 09:51

You had a miscarriage a week ago and this morning he is complaining about you not having sex with him?

I'm so sorry OP, for the loss of your pregnancy and dick of a partner

LumpySpacedPrincess · 07/08/2014 09:56

What a horrible man. You lost a bay a week ago and he is complaining about his sex life and checking out escorts.

I really do not think this is someone you want to have a child with.

Look at your options and try to get yourself out of a relationship with this loser.

Fairenuff · 07/08/2014 09:56

How long have you been together OP?

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