So how do we fix our relationship?

[AllFurCoat]

DP and I have been together 3.5 years, everything was great at first, both really happy etc etc etc. When we moved in together, our sex life took a turn for the worse and weeks started to pass, then a month, a few months and we're now on 10 months! He just isn't interested at all! I on the other hand am like at dog on heat!

He's not very physically intimate at all, hardly cuddles me, we've not kissed properly since the last time we had sex. I'm a very physical person and crave nothing more than even just a random cuddle. Counselling has been mentioned at few times in he past, but he isn't the sort to talk and tbh I'd be mortified. I just don't know what to do about it any more.

I've tried talking to him, he says sex is hardly appealing when I'm constantly grumpy - hardly a surprise I find it hard to be happy really! I've kind of accepted for a while that it's just the way our relationship is, but I don't know how much longer I can do it :(

Since we got together, I've lost about 4 stone and have started taking a bigger interest in clothes/hair/make up, which at first was partly to do with trying to get him to want me more, but clearly didn't work!

It's just weighing on my mind so much at the moment, I really want things to work between us, but it's soul destroying!

[Quitelikely]

That's what I meant! Love your username by the way

[BotoxBitch]

What's the saying all fur coat and??

[Darkesteyes]

Not all men Quite.


You are stereotyping. Go to the MN search engine Type in sexless relationships/marriages and have a read.

[Darkesteyes]

Society seems to have no trouble believing that women don’t want sex, but they struggle to come to terms with the idea that a man might not want it. This lack of understanding makes women scared to speak out. What woman is going to stick her head above the parapet and say “I live in a sexless marriage” and talk about it frankly and honestly in public. Actually, I can answer that “NONE”. And so women like me who live in sexless marriages continue to suffer in silence.

We feel that we cannot discuss the issue with anyone. We are made to feel that it is our fault. Magazine articles and books on the subject advise women to buy some sexy undies and make more effort with their appearance etc. Though it’s the man who doesn’t want sex, it is the women who are told to make more effort with their looks. If the situation is reversed and it is the woman who doesn’t want to make love, pressure is put on her (marital and societal) to go to the GP to see what is wrong

[Darkesteyes]

Above is an old post of mine from 2 years ago.

[Darkesteyes]

marriage.about.com/cs/lowsexdrive/a/malelowlibido.htm

[AllFurCoat]

That's the thing isn't it, if it's the woman that doesn't want it, men will (I assume) chat to their mates about it and have a bit of a banter, but it's the woman's fault. A man doesn't want it and the woman doesn't make enough effort, has let herself go etc etc and you just don't talk about it! A friend of mine's jaw almost hit the floor when I told her, but that was after a few wines, it's very rare I even tell anyone cos it's like a shameful little dirty secret that my DP doesn't want me :(

[Darkesteyes]

AllFur my situ is in the link.

everydayvictimblaming.com/submissions/my-mother-misogyny-men/


Ive lost nearly 3 stone since it was written.

[mineofuselessinformation]

Quitelikely, sorry if I misread your post.
But the rest still stands... A bit of affection goes a long way to making you feel valued.
Hope you work it out OP.

[Blahdeblah111]

OP I'm going through something very similar to you at the min. Thanks for posting this thread