Would you date a guy who described himself as 'mysterious''?

[Scarletohello]

So I've been chatting to a guy online who initially seemed very nice but I'm realising that trying to get information about him is like trying to get blood out of a stone. I asked him how his friends would describe him and he said " loyal...intelligent...mysterious"

I then asked him what his unique talents are and he replied,

"I'm very modest about myself, so I prefer you to find them out yourself...
But if you insist, you may be able to excavate a few from my sealed lips...??"

I'm getting a bit fed up with this now as it's impossible to get to know someone if they are evasive/enigmatic all the time.

And also it's one thing for a teenage girl to be mysterious but it's a bit odd in a fully grown man! Am starting to wonder what is behind this, low self esteem, shyness or is he trying to make himself look more interesting as he's actually really boring...?

Would I date a man who described himself as mysterious?

No.

1 man in 1000 who describes himself might be interesting-mysterious. The rest are plonkers. Like you say, pretty adolescent. hard work on top of that.

I tend to keep myself to myself so lots of people have described me as 'mysterious'. It's how he said his friends would describe him, not his own words, so I wouldn't think anything of it. Some people are very upfront about themselves, it sounds like you'd prefer someone like that and there's nothing wrong with moving on if he's not what you're after. That's what online dating is all about.

If he was genuinely mysterious he wouldn't tell people that he was. I think he sounds a bit self-important really.

He sounds a bit odd. Excavate from his sealed lips??
I'd pick option 3 from your list - trying to make himself interesting when he's not!

I would assume mysterious = married

He sounds like an emo teenager, who's been reading too much supernatural romance YA literature.

That said, 'what are your unique talents?' Sounds more like something they'd ask at a job interview than anything else.

I might (at a stretch) forgive the 'mysterious' but the excavating thing makes him sound like a twat and would put me right off.

How odd. I suppose it might appeal to a few people, it wouldn't appeal to me my husband is super honest to the point it can be painful, it's partly a cultural thing, they are pretty blunt in general, but I prefer that. I don't like games and I don't like people hiding things, this all sounds very sixth form. I suppose you could skip all the online banter and just meet up for a coffee somewhere public just in case it's just inexperience that's making him sound like a bit of a twat.

Excavating someone's lips would be painful. No?

It's how he said his friends would describe him, not his own words

I'd assume he's putting words into his friends' mouths, actually.

Grade 1 plonker, I'd guess.

Yes that would set off my Peter Andre alert. Have you asked him if he reeeaaaaaalllyyy loves his kids? I think he is looking for a mysterious girl and wants to get close to you.

A married twunt I'd say.

No, can't abide mind games. Mysterious is not the same as shy, self-effacing etc.

How would your friends describe you is also a weird question to ask someone. It sounds like you're administering a dubiously 'scientific' personality test. Sorry OP.

In any case, people will answer that as they would 'how would you like your friends to describe you?'. The truth about what his friends really would say may be a long, long way from that answer. I suspect from his response, the real answer would be 'thinks he's Edward Cullen '.

Eheheheh... no. Sounds completely up himself.

to be fair i'd be a bit thrown or short for words if someone put the direct question of "what are your unique talents" to me.

"mysterious" and "I prefer you to find them out yourself..." are just a couple of examples in a long list of typical OD language. it sounds more cringe worthy than unusual.

maybe try and be a bit more chatty in ur approach and see if you get anywhere. if you say something like 'how was your day?' and his response is again evasive or worded with dodgy OD prose then no loss here.

No. He sounds like a bit of a knob, tbh.

Have you not even met him in real life?

If not, things shouldn't be this confusing/complicated so soon.

He sounds pretentious / someone who is trying to make them self sound more interesting than they really are. x

I wouldn't. Ditto anyone who says "I'm crazy, me."

Sounds like a knobber