What to do now 2

[violetsrblue]

I posted back in May www.mumsnet.com/Talk/feeling_depressed/a2069488-What-to-do-now#46794584 Basically my son has been living with me now for quite a few weeks and it's become a hellish situation because he is an alcoholic. I made the classic mistake of thinking I could help him cut down, which he has done, but in it's place has arisen a terrible depression which means he can barely speak or make eye contact. He has already been through four types of antidepressants and is rejecting help from the local drug/alcohol services. He has got a mental health assessment tomorrow and goes to one AA meeting a week which seems to help a tiny bit.

I have been through raging, pleading etc etc, all the classic stuff. I know I need to go to Al-Anon but I have massive issues with social anxiety and am borderline so find things so hard anyway. I'm basically getting no help and because I was doing better before this have been discharged from mh services.

What's heartbreaking now is that he saw his young children on Monday, and although I could see he was making a big effort to be ok around them, his 6 year old was affected by his mood, as you'd expect. He doesn't see them often because in order to stay with me he's moved hundreds of miles away from them.

Thanks for reading anyone that has got this far..it is helping a bit to offload - feel so alone. A lot of money worries have come up too because I have declared him living with me and it affects my benefits.

Hi Violets, Your son is very lucky to have a lovely, caring mother like you. It's very difficult to stay strong for someone over such a long period of time when you don't see that much progress. You've hit the nail on the head that you can't do this for him.

I'm really sorry that I don't have any advice as such, but I would really encourage you to seek support of your own, because alcoholism is such an unpredictable condition and you cannot control someone who can't control themselves. Everything you write is do to with the needs of your son, but I think you need to try and balance this with addressing your own needs.

xx

Thanks for replying. I 've had another hellish day but finally tonight bit the bullet and phoned a counsellor. I know I need to be stronger than I have been because communication keeps breaking down between us and it can't go on like that.