My DP and I have, shall we say, 'differing' ideas as to what is an acceptable level of personal hygiene.
To give some context, I shower every evening and usually do a face & armpit wash in the morning. I brush my teeth after breakfast and before bed. I consider this to be reasonably 'normal'.
DP would, given the choice, rather shower once every three or four days. When we moved in together it took months of gentle nagging persuasion to get him to shower every other day, out of basic consideration for me sharing his bed. He has mostly kept this up and sometimes even showers on consecutive days. Hurrah.
Then we come to teeth brushing. Oh dear. He is dentist-phobic after a really bad experience several years ago, so you'd think he'd take good care of his teeth to avoid problems, right? Well, until fairly recently he would brush them once a day, before bed. That was pretty minimal IMO, but since we had our DS, he often ends up falling asleep on the sofa after I've gone to bed and not bothering to go up and brush at all!
He drinks loads of tea and coffee and until very recently was a smoker. His teeth are really badly stained. I love him, and he does have many redeeming qualities, but I don't feel like kissing someone who hasn't brushed their teeth for over 24 hours.
I don't know if it's laziness (he works from home so he has all day to pick up a toothbrush FFS!), stubbornness, or simply that he just doesn't care enough, but it's really starting to piss me off. I'm still on maternity leave so it's 'in my face' more than it would otherwise be I suppose.
I don't think this is something I can just let go. Call me shallow but I don't think I'd find him very attractive if all his teeth fell out! I've told him that and said I think it's minging that he doesn't brush, but should I be more blunt? I've not gone as far as saying how bad his teeth look. I just don't want to be that hurtful. If I'm honest though, I find it hurtful that he doesn't want to make an effort to be clean 'for' me, iyswim.