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Original poster

think my boyfriend likes men. help!

57 replies

proudmam14 · 01/08/2014 21:31

I think my boyfriend is into men because I have found gay porn on his phone numerous times and recently found some explicit 'gay' photos of himself on the bed on his phone. I don't want to ask him about it because he will turn it on me and tell me I have been snooping in his 'private' phone and the kick off asking if I have read his messages but he always makes jokes about gay guys like his best friend who is obviously gay and they're too close for my liking for them just being friends. I don't know if it links to his childhood as 'things' happened when he was young to him (if you understand what I mean) he also loves anal an awful lot.

OP posts:
JaceyBee · 02/08/2014 20:54

Other than really loving anal, how is he in bed? Does he enjoy going down on you, is it passionate and intimate or is it like he's not really 'there'?

I think if he was actually gay and not bi he wouldn't enjoy having sex with a woman, if he's bi then he probably would.

I could have a relationship with a bi guy but not with someone who's gay.

Pepperwitheverything · 02/08/2014 21:15

Leave Bitter alone...her post just inferred that it is disgusting that a man who fancies other men would deceive and sexually use an innocent and unaware woman. Which it is.

Justrestinginmyaccount · 02/08/2014 21:25

It is possible that he is bi. What is your sex life like OP? Is he passionate? Does he take pleasure in your pleasure? If so then I would say he is most likely bisexual. In which case it is really up to you to decide what you want to do.

But if he is gay then you know what you have to do...it isn't fair on either of you otherwise.

JaceyBee · 02/08/2014 22:34

Great minds justresting! Wink

ElizabethArdenGreenTea · 02/08/2014 23:36

I agree pepperwitheverything, and in defence of bitter, I went out with a gay man when I was very young and it left me quite confused and with a low sense of confidence as a woman. It is a horrible thing to do, to use a woman like that just because it's hard to come out or whatever. Is it even hard to come out? Still not sure I get why I was used.

Lezprechaun · 03/08/2014 00:12

The age of consent for a gay male is actually 18. Just randomly in case you didn't know.

Waimaz · 03/08/2014 06:48

he is gay, its a fact

WildBillfemale · 03/08/2014 07:21

He's gay - cut your losses and find a hetero

LadyCybilCrawley · 03/08/2014 07:23

If the photo on his phone is of himself only, what makes it "gay"?

Apologies if this is a stupid question but I can't make the link

MrsDavidBowie · 03/08/2014 07:42

What exactly are explicit gay photos of himself?

MrsDavidBowie · 03/08/2014 07:42

And not all gay men are into anal, by the way.

FunkyBoldRibena · 03/08/2014 07:48

He is either gay, or bi. We don't know.

It's him you need to discuss this with. Or him you need to end it with.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 03/08/2014 07:53

No it's not lezprechaun, it has been 16 for a while now.

magpiegin · 03/08/2014 09:06

He could be gay, he could be bi but you need to talk to him.

I'm another one who doesn't understand how an explicit photo of him alone can be 'gay'. Can't figure out what he would be doing.

Twinklestein · 03/08/2014 09:30

It's been 16 since 2001.

magoria · 03/08/2014 11:06

If he is bi does it matter as long as he is faithful and exclusive if that is what you have agreed?

MrsDavidBowie · 03/08/2014 11:31

I quite like gay porn but am not gay. What does that make me?

dimplesinmybuttcheeks · 04/08/2014 14:54

what do you mean he will turn on you OP if you ask him?

dimplesinmybuttcheeks · 04/08/2014 14:56

Maybe he is curious?

Either way - ask him, bring it up in conversation - say one of your friends has come out as Gay/Bi

What is his family like? would they be supportive if he was to 'come out'

Totally going out on a whim here - but what if one of his friends used/was using his phone...?

ashamedgay84 · 05/08/2014 16:58

He's gay, save yourself a lot of emotional energy and get out before things get worse

You don't want to find out he's been with guys while staying with you. I appreciate some guys are curious but anal and gay porn seems to point in one direction

ashamedgay84 · 05/08/2014 17:00

Not all gay men are into anal same as all women aren't into oral sex

itsbetterthanabox · 05/08/2014 17:05

I think you need to speak to him about it. He may be bi and happy with you but lots of people still look at porn. Tell him everything you have found and ask why he has these things.
Anal sex with a woman is no indication that a man is gay.
Being sexually abused does not cause people to be gay.

Branleuse · 05/08/2014 17:05

ask him if theres a special reason he hasnt told you that hes bisexual, considering that you're supposed to be in a relationship with each other.

Its not as if its something shameful, but theres not much hope for a relationship if you cant even discuss your sexual orientation with each other

itsbetterthanabox · 05/08/2014 17:07

What are explicit gay photos of himself? If it's just of him how are they gay?

Madamecastafiore · 05/08/2014 17:07

Sounds like he is gay but am confused as to what makes a photograph of someone gay (unless they with someone else)?

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