'D' H and his mini mid life crisis

[Justnotimaginitive]

'D' H seems to have mini midlife crisis every 6 months to a yr, he says be doesn't want to live like this for the rest of his life.
This basically means 'life' what we all do every day, working etc all the mundane stuff. He wants to live and do exciting things, climb mountains, safari, travel that sort of thing.

I am trying to be supportive and encouraging but I'm not sure how much more I can take tbh. Yesterday I did the race for life and jogged most of it when I don't do exercise ever . This morning I said how much I ache only to
Be met with 'it was only 5k' no support no 'you did brilliant well done '.

I just don't know what to do anymore i am seriously considering wether this is working for us, I don't think he wants to be here, I always feel like he is looking for something more (previous issues with internet miss use )

I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else has this and if so how do you cope with it and not give up.

I just wanted to join in with the well dones, sounds like you've achieved a lot over the past year.

another person wanting to congratulation on your achievements, thats no mean feat to have accomplished what you have!

i have lived with a misery guts who (unintentionally?) dragged me down and made me feel miserable and I'm a very positive, optimistic person usually - I basically lost my zest for life whilst living with him. He sucked the joy out of everything, I tried to be bright, breezy, lose weight, find happiness but when you are living with someone who sees the negative in everything its just not worth it. mid-life crisis my arse. he's behaving like this because he can.

we didn't have children together so I suppose it was easier for me to move on but I think you deserve happiness and your children would want that too. You sound pretty amazing and I agree with pp who said that he probably knows he doesn't deserve you. nothing will change from him, you will have to be the catalyst here.

*congratulate you

It's already affected my self esteem quite a but I would say as the things I've done over the last yr when I look at them are big things but I don't see them as achievements as I get no recognition for them from him, even a well done would be something.

THey are amazing achievements Ive done lost 2 stone 9 since last August. DH and I have our problems but he doesn't act like he would rather be elsewhere.

I have found it best not to look for validation from others. I haven't even bothered changing my photos on FB they are 3/4 years old and im 3 stone heavier in them. (ok some of it is because I don't know how to upload photos) but I no longer look for the approval of others. Its the road to unhappiness.

Having said all that OP you deserve so much better than this entitled tool.

Sorry I meant they are amazing achievements YOUVE done.

He is being emotionally abusive to you OP The sulking and moping is part of that.

He should be damn grateful that you've stayed with him so far after the stuff hes done.

I was going to say fair enough to being tired of the drudge. Everyone feels that way. But he isn't doing anything about it. You're not stopping him so what's he moaning at you for? He can rope you in for something exciting, do it alone, whatever. He sounds like a real emotional parasite and very entitled. Things don't just happen. Well done to you for getting things done. If a 5k is so pathetic ask him to go run 50- if he's set on doing something new and "impressive". Otherwise he can do one.

Either he stops moaning and starts doing something about it, or he finds a way to be happy how he is. It's really not fair to take his frustration out on you.

There's nothing wrong with wanting "more". I do endurance sport. Find it connects me with the World, people...just something "more". People say the same about lots of hobbies, especially outside ones. Brilliant way to find a purpose other than work (and my jobs menial so that's important). If you want it you earn it. Is he generally quite lazy, per chance?

Oh, and I imagine he belittles you because his own self worth is so lacking. Good relationships rely on inspiration; friendships and romantic relationships. Not competition. Reducing your experiences is just a not very subtle introduction of competition; your experience isn't worthy of acknowledging...(and obviously he says that relative to his own, which he believes are worthy).

I think many middle aged men behave this way! My strategy is to focus energy on positive relationships and activities (it sounds like you have already started to take steps in this direction). Also make the most of any support you have from friends and relatives. I would encourage him to follow up any ideas he has for climbing etc but think it is up to him to sort them out. Am hoping this is a stage that will pass!!